First of all, sorry to hear about your loss.
I think perhaps that you should address these issues with her as soon as possible. Perhaps she doesn't realise how much it's affecting you and as for the hurtful comments, could it not be misconstrued as general sarcasm? I mean in your emotional state I think it would be a lot easier to offend you.
I don't think you're expecting too much when it comes to support from her, but the key here is communication. Without it assumption will kick in and will make tensions rise fast.
I think perhaps that you should address these issues with her as soon as possible. Perhaps she doesn't realise how much it's affecting you and as for the hurtful comments, could it not be misconstrued as general sarcasm? I mean in your emotional state I think it would be a lot easier to offend you.
I don't think you're expecting too much when it comes to support from her, but the key here is communication. Without it assumption will kick in and will make tensions rise fast.