06-24-2012, 06:14 PM
it feels like it should be part of a larger work. then you could expand on the 2nd line repetition idea.
if this is just a stand alone verse then i don't think it matters, but i think you could keep going with it. look at the lay out of the first verse and play with it over the course of the other verses. make it a theme that you adapt as the poem progresses. you can tweek the subtleties and get people thinking.
if this is just a stand alone verse then i don't think it matters, but i think you could keep going with it. look at the lay out of the first verse and play with it over the course of the other verses. make it a theme that you adapt as the poem progresses. you can tweek the subtleties and get people thinking.