01-08-2012, 02:18 AM
I know this is long guys, but please read. I'm really desperate for help. 
So my girlfriend and I are in a situation.
I really love her and care about her. I told her this, and I always try to be there for her. I am that kind of guy that talks a lot about my feelings and stuff, if I have someone to talk to. In person, however, I'm somewhat shy and stuff.
My girlfriend is the complete opposite of me. She doesn't really talk about her feelings and stuff, she has an attitude 99% of the times, she has the "I just don't care" attitude. She also doesn't have a lot of friends, entirely by choice. But she's attractive, so that gets her attention and stuff, which usually makes me jealous, but that's entirely a different problem that I've just about gotten over. She's generally a stay-at-home person and I usually go over her house to be with her.
I like really like her. We have our share of problems, but our opposites have usually complemented each other. But now they're expanding. I really try to show her that I care, because I really do. But she doesn't show that she cares. For example when we're together, she'll like downright belittle me or something. Her parents really like me because I'm a good kid, and I suppose they assume that I don't mind what she says and stuff. I'm guessing this is because of my reaction to it, which is just a shake-it-off thing.
I don't have a lot of people to talk to, and I can't even talk to her, because she doesn't want to listen. Even about our relationship. Since she's easily angered, once she said something like "well if you don't like it just dump me". And sometimes when I want to see her, I'll ask if she wants to see me and she'll say that she doesn't care.
Now there's a kicker. She really does care. I genuinely know this. When she's mad and she has the whole "well just dump me" attitude, it's not because she doesn't care about me, it's because she has a low self esteem and think's she's not worth it or something, which in my eyes is obviously entirely wrong. And on days where she says she doesn't care if I come over when I ask, if I actually don't, she'll get mad because I didn't.
It's completely a matter of her not showing how she feels towards me. I know that she does care and all, but that's just not enough. I can't be happy with her if I get the impression that she's not happy with me, and I don't know if I'm wrong for that. Am I?
And we are fighting now. Last night, she was at a block party thing with her parents, and I stayed in. When she got back we were texting and she said something like "well since you were too busy today to see me". And it aggravated me, honestly. I told her how I'm the one that always wants to see her, and when she wants to see me I never know because she doesn't tell me. I fought with her and told her that she really needs to start showing me that she cares about me. She said that she doesn't have to prove anything. So I told her that when she decides she wants to start showing she cares, to come and find me. And she said "Well then I won't be".
I'm just scared. I don't know if what I did or my reasoning was even right. And I really like her beyond belief, and I don't want to lose her. I have the obvious thoughts of "what if she doesn't contact me?" and stuff like that. I'm just hoping that she'll see that what I want isn't that bad, and come back to me. But I feel like she's really stubborn and won't, regardless of if she wants to or not.
Guys, please help. Tell me if what I'm doing is right. Or what I should do. Or anything at all. I really need help.
So my girlfriend and I are in a situation.
I really love her and care about her. I told her this, and I always try to be there for her. I am that kind of guy that talks a lot about my feelings and stuff, if I have someone to talk to. In person, however, I'm somewhat shy and stuff.
My girlfriend is the complete opposite of me. She doesn't really talk about her feelings and stuff, she has an attitude 99% of the times, she has the "I just don't care" attitude. She also doesn't have a lot of friends, entirely by choice. But she's attractive, so that gets her attention and stuff, which usually makes me jealous, but that's entirely a different problem that I've just about gotten over. She's generally a stay-at-home person and I usually go over her house to be with her.
I like really like her. We have our share of problems, but our opposites have usually complemented each other. But now they're expanding. I really try to show her that I care, because I really do. But she doesn't show that she cares. For example when we're together, she'll like downright belittle me or something. Her parents really like me because I'm a good kid, and I suppose they assume that I don't mind what she says and stuff. I'm guessing this is because of my reaction to it, which is just a shake-it-off thing.
I don't have a lot of people to talk to, and I can't even talk to her, because she doesn't want to listen. Even about our relationship. Since she's easily angered, once she said something like "well if you don't like it just dump me". And sometimes when I want to see her, I'll ask if she wants to see me and she'll say that she doesn't care.
Now there's a kicker. She really does care. I genuinely know this. When she's mad and she has the whole "well just dump me" attitude, it's not because she doesn't care about me, it's because she has a low self esteem and think's she's not worth it or something, which in my eyes is obviously entirely wrong. And on days where she says she doesn't care if I come over when I ask, if I actually don't, she'll get mad because I didn't.
It's completely a matter of her not showing how she feels towards me. I know that she does care and all, but that's just not enough. I can't be happy with her if I get the impression that she's not happy with me, and I don't know if I'm wrong for that. Am I?
And we are fighting now. Last night, she was at a block party thing with her parents, and I stayed in. When she got back we were texting and she said something like "well since you were too busy today to see me". And it aggravated me, honestly. I told her how I'm the one that always wants to see her, and when she wants to see me I never know because she doesn't tell me. I fought with her and told her that she really needs to start showing me that she cares about me. She said that she doesn't have to prove anything. So I told her that when she decides she wants to start showing she cares, to come and find me. And she said "Well then I won't be".
I'm just scared. I don't know if what I did or my reasoning was even right. And I really like her beyond belief, and I don't want to lose her. I have the obvious thoughts of "what if she doesn't contact me?" and stuff like that. I'm just hoping that she'll see that what I want isn't that bad, and come back to me. But I feel like she's really stubborn and won't, regardless of if she wants to or not.
Guys, please help. Tell me if what I'm doing is right. Or what I should do. Or anything at all. I really need help.