12-06-2011, 06:32 AM
(11-23-2011, 11:02 PM)zeusthunder10 Wrote: THIS HAPPENED TODAY
today was i most say a really good day. i tried out for swimming and i got put with seniors and juniors while im just a freshman. then while i was walking to the bus terminal i saw a dead guy, i checked his pulse and nothing. i got in the bus on my way to the mall and i called the cops. once i arrived to the mall i met with this girl whom i met on facebook. shes in 7th grade and knows a couple of people on my highschool. shes pretty cool. she also brought 2 friends with her and her mom. her mom is really cool. i wish i could have a mom like that. my mom is always depressed and angry at something. im not very social but today i tried my best. im actually pretty fun and open once you get to know me. but it takes quite a long road for me to act like that around someone. anyways one of her friends is bestfriends with this girl who pretty much played me. i felt hard for her.
THIS HAPPENED OCTOBER 2
we met on facebook because her friend liked me a lot and they were all in a band. we talked, shared secrets, and flirted. then the day i was finally going to meet her in person it was in one of her concerts. i went just to see her. but it was too awkard because i just wanted to talk to her personally and ask her out. when i saw her i was shocked, the way she dressed was unique and her eyes were amazing. we sent eachtoher pictures and videos too. she kind of avoided me that day. i was tired, i walked 1 hour to get there because the roads were closed and the bus was taking too long. anyways after that day we stopped talking less and less then she told me she has been crushing in someone else then she deactivated her fb. i was so heartbroken and angry at myself. i deleted her phone along with all the texts.
2-3 weeks ago i was stil ltrying to find her because i love this girl and i heard that she moved and that the band was breaking apart because of that. my heart fell and broke. i thought i was cursed. but now today while watching a movie with her bestfriend and other people she mentioned her she said " didnt u went out with .... for like 2 weeks" i was like no.... the day u saw me at the concert was the first time i saw .... in person. then after the movie i grew some balls and asked her what really happened to the band because i asked all of the band members and they didnt told me. and she told me " ....... wants to separate from the band" she was the one who put the band together and she was the best out of all of them. now im here home. thinking back and thinking to my self " i really had a great time today, but i dont think ill ever get to hang out with them because i acted a little anti-social, im also thinking how much i miss that girl and talking to her" my family is just trash, everyone talks crap about other family members. my mom is constantly making me feel like im crap but ive grew stronger and i dont really care about what people think about me. the problem is im very shy and anti-social because of my mom... i have tried to suicide and i was too much of a pussy to do it. however i do not fear death. i would be happy to die anyday to stop feeling like this almost every day.
i also forgot to mention.... i have cut myself several times last year and when i was around 7
Seriously?
"Every two seconds someone in the U.S. needs blood.
More than 38,000 blood donations are needed every day." -American Red Cross
Stop being a pussy talking about how miserable your life is. If your going to kill yourself, at least donate your organs and blood to needing people with actual problems that want to live. When you are cut, your body releases airborne endorphins. Giving blood every 8 weeks accomplishes this same effect. My advice: hold onto life, it only gets better (from an unintentionally drug-induced screwup with poor social skills and probably aspergers syndrome).