11-20-2011, 03:19 PM
I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for for 6 years, we have just recently become engaged. Lately I have had stronger sexual feelings towards women, as well as fantasies. I was sexually abused by uncle when I was younger. I have up until recently been able to ignore and forget what has happened in the past. However as of late my memories and anxieties have been coming back especially while engaging in certain sexual acts with my fiancee. My parents were also very controlling and I feel like I am just now finding my own way instead of them controlling everything in my life. I have daddy issues where my biological father didn't really want anything to do with me, and my stepfather is an alcoholic and is verbally abusive. I feel like this could contribute to the problems I have relating and connecting to men.
My fiancee was and is my first love, boyfriend, kiss, everything. He knows of my confusion and is trying to be very supportive. He is the most wonderful person and has helped me through so many issues with my life. He treats me so wonderfully and tries so hard to give me as much as he can. However I haven't felt as turned on by him. There was always a question for me if he was the one and I feel like I convinced myself that he is or was the one. I feel so pained at the thought of losing our relationship but I cannot help the feeling of wanting to be with a woman. I have always felt slightly uncomfortable around men especially when it comes to becoming more intimate except for with my fiancee. I can't help wonder that if he wasn't around that I would be a lesbian, like he is the only reason I am still straight. I have always been sexually attracted to men, and when I was younger I was slightly uncomfortable with seeing two women kissing or anything, but now I have done a 180 and I don't feel as much attraction to men and more for women.
Also my boyfriend is very emotional and has basically told me if he wasn't with me there would be no reason for him to go on...so it puts a lot of pressure on me and I feel like I could never do that to him.
I would appreciate any advice people could give me.
My fiancee was and is my first love, boyfriend, kiss, everything. He knows of my confusion and is trying to be very supportive. He is the most wonderful person and has helped me through so many issues with my life. He treats me so wonderfully and tries so hard to give me as much as he can. However I haven't felt as turned on by him. There was always a question for me if he was the one and I feel like I convinced myself that he is or was the one. I feel so pained at the thought of losing our relationship but I cannot help the feeling of wanting to be with a woman. I have always felt slightly uncomfortable around men especially when it comes to becoming more intimate except for with my fiancee. I can't help wonder that if he wasn't around that I would be a lesbian, like he is the only reason I am still straight. I have always been sexually attracted to men, and when I was younger I was slightly uncomfortable with seeing two women kissing or anything, but now I have done a 180 and I don't feel as much attraction to men and more for women.
Also my boyfriend is very emotional and has basically told me if he wasn't with me there would be no reason for him to go on...so it puts a lot of pressure on me and I feel like I could never do that to him.
I would appreciate any advice people could give me.