09-20-2011, 02:25 AM
Where to begin. I turned 18 on the 11th, and I came to a conclusion. I need to change the direction my life is going. I'm 18, 350lbs, miserable, and have a ton of bad habits(i smoke) and single. I've never had a true girl friend too. When i was about 15 a did something really bad to one of my longest childhood friends, i don't feel the need to justify my actions but i am bi-polar and was in a residential treatment then getting help. But to continue, we are still friends today. she forgave me thank god.
my mother said to me "matthew, when you get married. marry your best friend, and be damn sure of yourself." I'm sick and tired of the way my lifes going and i need to change. This girl was my best friend since before we could walk. And Im pretty sure im in love with her. How can i tell? Well, if she can forgive me for all my faults, and still be my friend, and support me through my rough times. She has never once turned her back on me. But you guys know that feeling when absolutely nothing could stop you for fighting for something or someone if it meant death or pain? That's the feeling i get when i think of her. But I also want to change my life for myself. So i can be a whole different, better person.
I need to do more with my life. And now is the time to do it.But im not sure where to start. I know i my heart if i change things now maybe my life will have more meaning and enjoyment.
What do you guys think i should do? I love this women. And i need to make changes.
my mother said to me "matthew, when you get married. marry your best friend, and be damn sure of yourself." I'm sick and tired of the way my lifes going and i need to change. This girl was my best friend since before we could walk. And Im pretty sure im in love with her. How can i tell? Well, if she can forgive me for all my faults, and still be my friend, and support me through my rough times. She has never once turned her back on me. But you guys know that feeling when absolutely nothing could stop you for fighting for something or someone if it meant death or pain? That's the feeling i get when i think of her. But I also want to change my life for myself. So i can be a whole different, better person.
I need to do more with my life. And now is the time to do it.But im not sure where to start. I know i my heart if i change things now maybe my life will have more meaning and enjoyment.
What do you guys think i should do? I love this women. And i need to make changes.