03-28-2011, 03:29 PM
I thought a lot about this story after reading it.
Recently I have been thinking about what makes some people more family-oriented than others, or more skilled at healthy relationships than others. I believe that people who have had an ideal family life have an ability to reproduce the same environment and relationships for themselves. Many university and government studies prove this, through statistics. These people are operating on skills which they develop unconsciously. Theirs is a cycle of positive circumstances.
For those of us who are born into less ideal environments, planning and practicing is really important. Stable inter-relationships, which usually means family relationships, have to be developed over long periods of time. Economic, emotional and physical stability support these relationships. The difficulty is creating positive circumstance from scratch, instead of inheriting a cycle.
What you describe is a difficult life for your mother, and I am truly sympathetic for the difficulties both of you have experienced. I understand your sadness.
Education will give you the opportunity to access economic options that will help both you and your mother. Beyond the specific course you choose (whether to pursue vocational, university or professional qualifications) you will also become more aware of public and community services which can help your family. Think seriously about the type of relationships which will make you happy, and the type of qualities you admire.
You have the ability to plan and prepare for a life which makes you happy. Don't ever feel that your family difficulties define who you will be. You can love your family, you can appreciate your past and you can aspire to a happier future.
Recently I have been thinking about what makes some people more family-oriented than others, or more skilled at healthy relationships than others. I believe that people who have had an ideal family life have an ability to reproduce the same environment and relationships for themselves. Many university and government studies prove this, through statistics. These people are operating on skills which they develop unconsciously. Theirs is a cycle of positive circumstances.
For those of us who are born into less ideal environments, planning and practicing is really important. Stable inter-relationships, which usually means family relationships, have to be developed over long periods of time. Economic, emotional and physical stability support these relationships. The difficulty is creating positive circumstance from scratch, instead of inheriting a cycle.
What you describe is a difficult life for your mother, and I am truly sympathetic for the difficulties both of you have experienced. I understand your sadness.
Education will give you the opportunity to access economic options that will help both you and your mother. Beyond the specific course you choose (whether to pursue vocational, university or professional qualifications) you will also become more aware of public and community services which can help your family. Think seriously about the type of relationships which will make you happy, and the type of qualities you admire.
You have the ability to plan and prepare for a life which makes you happy. Don't ever feel that your family difficulties define who you will be. You can love your family, you can appreciate your past and you can aspire to a happier future.