01-25-2011, 01:02 AM
(This post was last modified: 01-25-2011, 01:02 AM by AceInfinity.)
(01-25-2011, 12:55 AM)Mister Wrote: It was thought out very well.
I could explain it if you like?
The reader is introduced to the setting: Arizona, Fall/Late Summer, Sunset
The reader is introduced to the central figure: Ideally seen as an outlaw/gunfighter in the later 1800's. (He is using a revolver. (A popular weapon during the time.))
The reader is introduced to a question: The "thought" is something that the reader must think about. Is it a thought of this moment? Something before that caused this? What is he thinking of.
He is obviously (If you couldn't tell by the "claret life") shot/wounded.
A new thought enters the man's mind: A thought that portrays the point of the poem. Man is not defined until his death, because as some would say, death is not the end but a point where your past actions are compiled into your new persona.
The last four lines show that the man is dead. Passed on to face something more than he ever would have been able to in life. He is able to face death knowing that he did what he could and what he couldn't, he was ok with.
I think it's the last 5 lines that show that he is dead lol. The idea is good though, but it's written in too much of an "obvious" way from my perspective, which could have gone into even more depth.
It's like the idea of show don't tell, instead of just plainly saying he is dead, you could express it in a different way, to give it an added effect when you make that twist at the end.