I havent seen her in....

[Saint Michael]

Okay lets just start this off easy, I am a virgin no harm done right? there's this girl, i met her in the 4th grade i am a sophomore in high school. At first when i met her we were in to each other but i was scared and was a dumbass and never told her my feelings, we then became friends and you know how that is, theres no going back. When we were friends i tried to explain my feelings to her but she said "She didnt want to ruin are relationship" she left in the 7th grade, i haven't seen her in 4 years? I think? Anyways i just reconnected with her on facebook, and were going to meet up tomorrow, and then go to a concert on saturday. I havent thought about her in that way in a long time, But after the concert We are going to be under the influence and sleeping in the same bed. If i were to lose my virginity to anyone that i wasnt with it would be her, its just i kinda hinted towards having sex because shes addicted to having sex with friends. But she has a boyfriend. I just now that i know that i might not have a chance its just i dont feel good anymore. I feel alone and deeply sad, for over 5 years my anger, depression and general hate has built up, i dont think i can take much more. Please help?