(12-22-2010, 07:04 AM)Frostbite Wrote: You say you're starting to dress better, etc. Well, are you actually more confident or is just a front to people to make them believe you are? Real confidence is the catcher and it does greatly to have people like you of their own accord instead of manipulating them to.
Another point I'd like to mention, she told you she had sex with these other guys which means she trusts you and feels connected to you. By all means, you shouldn't judge her for the sex with the other men, maybe she was just lonely or missing something in her life that she thought she could fill with sex and empty relationships? Sure, hearing that from someone you care about sucks but in the end, you can't hold it over her head forever and it'd probably just shut her down towards a willing relationship with you; the past is the past so it's best to leave it dead. Something else that may be a trigger is that she cheated on her boyfriend with you, which is something you may need to be worried about since that may prove to be a breaking point: If she cheated once, or how many other times, what makes you think she won't repeat the action again if she's in a relationship with you? As for getting her to have sex with you, which would lead her to cheating again - would you really want to put her through that if she really cared about this man?
You avidly mention that you would like to have sex with this woman and give her your virginity. That would be something I'd really think about, considering her amount of partners it would be best to be on the safer side just in case she has anything she's not telling you/doesn't know about. Wear protection and if you're in doubt simply put, DO NOT DO IT. Wait until you're completely and fully ready to, even if that means waiting for her again. You may find that you want someone else to have your virginity over her.
I'm sorry if this makes little sense and doesn't help you, but I tried. Good luck!
I do have a lot more confidence than I used to have. It's quite amazing really lol.
I don't hold having sex with a few other guys over her head. She's done a lot of things I know she's not proud of and I respect her for having the guts to tell me about them. She tells me things she doesn't tell everyone else, and the things she does tell everyone else she tends to tell me in more detail. For instance, I know she doesn't like receiving oral.
The reason she cheated on her BF with me is because I'm pretty sure she could sense it was going to end soon. They broke up about a month after our fling. She also said that because she had a crush on me in primary school that she wanted to fool around with me so she'd have no regrets before taking off to Japan.
Honestly, I care a lot for her. Even if we just stayed friends I know I'd care a lot for her in the best friend kind of way. But you're right, I'm still not 100% sure because I don't want to give it up to someone I know is going to leave me a few weeks after. It seems like a bad idea. If we have sex, then most likely that'll be the last time I ever see her. Then she's got the time with the guy she's having the relationship with.
It's all a very confusing situation. I care a lot for her, I don't know how she feels about me anymore. I know we're almost 100% comfortable around each other and can talk about almost anything. If she wasn't in a relationship and wasn't leaving then it'd be a different story, I'd totally go for it.