08-24-2010, 11:55 PM
(This post was last modified: 08-24-2010, 11:57 PM by ––––•(-• Ωмεgα •-)•––––.)
Okay, I never though I'd be sharing these things with strangers over the internet but I'm at the end of my line. Okay, first off, I'm a pretty messed up kid. On the exterior I seem like an average happy guy, but my mind is something else. You could say I'm quite... askew.
Anywho, to my problems. I find myself not being able to sit in a house alone, watch horror-films or worst of all, walk down a street by myself. These problems are exacerbated when its dark. I think its because I'm scared of the unknown and the "possible". The fear is so crippling, I make excuses to go out and watch horror movies with friends and when I'm walking alone, I talk main roads and separate paths to other people. I know that may sound funny, and yes I understand it pretty much sums up paranoia.
Now, to my other problems. I'm very self-conscious about the way I look and my weight. I'm not fat, but I'm definitely far from ripped. I am always making sure when I pass people, usually girls, to make myself look perfect, hair etc. Even though people tell me I'm not bad looking, I always accuse myself of being just plain ugly.
Wait, you didn't think there could possibly be more??!?!? There is!
Okay, let me paint you a word picture.
4 main friendship groups (in short):
Jocks, sporty, popular etc.
Nerds
Guys who aren't complete jocks, but are popular.
Guys who ditch school etc.
Okay, I have friends from all four. Some of my jock friends don't like me hanging out with the guys who ditch school. The guys who ditch school are the ones who invite me to go out. The guys who aren't complete jocks, but are popular are becoming more and more friendly with and I like them. I have a couple nerd friends who I like aswell. I kind of feel overwhelmed at the moment, because I kind of fit into every group, yet some the groups hate each other.
Anyway, feels good to unload. Thoughts? Comments? I wrote them in-order of how much I am concerned with them (top to bottom). Thanks for reading, I really appreciate it.
Anywho, to my problems. I find myself not being able to sit in a house alone, watch horror-films or worst of all, walk down a street by myself. These problems are exacerbated when its dark. I think its because I'm scared of the unknown and the "possible". The fear is so crippling, I make excuses to go out and watch horror movies with friends and when I'm walking alone, I talk main roads and separate paths to other people. I know that may sound funny, and yes I understand it pretty much sums up paranoia.
Now, to my other problems. I'm very self-conscious about the way I look and my weight. I'm not fat, but I'm definitely far from ripped. I am always making sure when I pass people, usually girls, to make myself look perfect, hair etc. Even though people tell me I'm not bad looking, I always accuse myself of being just plain ugly.
Wait, you didn't think there could possibly be more??!?!? There is!
Okay, let me paint you a word picture.
4 main friendship groups (in short):
Jocks, sporty, popular etc.
Nerds
Guys who aren't complete jocks, but are popular.
Guys who ditch school etc.
Okay, I have friends from all four. Some of my jock friends don't like me hanging out with the guys who ditch school. The guys who ditch school are the ones who invite me to go out. The guys who aren't complete jocks, but are popular are becoming more and more friendly with and I like them. I have a couple nerd friends who I like aswell. I kind of feel overwhelmed at the moment, because I kind of fit into every group, yet some the groups hate each other.
Anyway, feels good to unload. Thoughts? Comments? I wrote them in-order of how much I am concerned with them (top to bottom). Thanks for reading, I really appreciate it.