Problem with sexual anxiety.

[Elektrisk]

Hello.
Well, I'm 15 and gay, and often I'll meet guys who are a few years older than me on MySpace or Facebook that I'd like to 'mess around with'. Anyway, I always feel like meeting up with them and such, but when we finally get around to setting a time, place, or date, I get really nervous, usually to the point where I make up an excuse and cancel. What's up with this? Is it because I usually don't know the guy, because I don't have any emotional attachment with him, or because I'm very susceptible to being raped/beaten up (I'm only like 5'10 and 135lbs)? I'm thinking it's a combination of all of the aforementioned. Is there anything I can do besides this, besides stopping it altogether? I am comfortable with my package and body, so it's not like I'm afraid of embarrassment. I'm thinking if the guys whom I intended to 'mess with' were my age (14-17 or so), then I wouldn't be as nervous. But, that's not a very likely scenario for where I live.

[ktmrider530]

I'm sorry... but raped? How does that happen? you meet up for sex.

[Elektrisk]

I'm sorry... but raped? How does that happen? you meet up for sex.

Here's a hypothetical scenario.

1. A guy and I plan to meet.

2. We engage in anal sex.

3. I tell him to slow down.

4. He doesn't.

5. I tell him to stop.

6. He doesn't.

7. I try to force him off of me, but can't.

8. Raped.

[ktmrider530]

Here's a hypothetical scenario.

1. A guy and I plan to meet.

2. We engage in anal sex.

3. I tell him to slow down.

4. He doesn't.

5. I tell him to stop.

6. He doesn't.

7. I try to force him off of me, but can't.

8. Raped.

Aha, got ya.

[Elektrisk]

I also seem to have a problem with premature ejaculation, although it might be because I'm so young, I dunno. I'm thinking this stems from me always being so nervous/anxious when meeting with guys, because I've never engaged in sexual activity with someone whom I knew comfortably. It has always been random people, or people whom I knew only mutually.

[Gaijin]

Well one last before work....
As I'm not Gay I can't really tell, but I guess it's kind of same as with Girls....

I see your Problem more as,

because I don't have any emotional attachment with him

That brings up many thoughts, he also doesn't have one with you so the fear of being hurt emotionally is there....
Maybe you're not really focusing on this fear but it's there.....

All I could say is, when you arrange the next meeting, choose a place where you feel comfortable and where you 2 can spent a bit time getting know each other better, I don't think it's just sex what you're looking for....

Well again, I'm not Gay so I can't really tell you anything.....

[Elektrisk]

Well, I don't think that's a problem.
I mean, I understand that it's purely physical when I meet up with guys like that.
I would like a relationship moreso than a fuckbuddy, of course, but I don't plan on attempting to engage in a romantic relationship with someone that much older than I am.

PS: Love/lust is the same feeling no matter who is involved, so I am sure your experiences with females will be just as helpful.

[Gaijin]

What I mean is that you can kill the nervous feeling by choosing a place you feel better and you talk to him....

Choosing a right place for a "date" is helping much when, let's say going on a blind date. You're nervous in the beginning but when you're there and actually sit down and idk drink somethin with him, you get much better feeling and mostly the nervous feeling is gone.
All you need to do is try to not cancel it the next time, ofcourse there is still a possibility of all those things to happen.... but it drops down to a very low chance... As said I never would think of getting raped... it's Girl I would meet.....

But it's about the feeling you have before the actual meeting....

edit:
Sorry I need to go to work now, I'm already late.... But I'll try to get back at this subject asap.....

[Grizzly]

It's probably just inexperience. Most guys when first starting out are like that, no matter what their sexuality. I don't know how much older than you they are, but, personally I'd start looking around for someone closer to your age. Is there anyone in your school or a neighboring school you know that you'd be interested in?

It's probably just because of your inexperience and young age though, on top of not knowing the person at all, and hearing all the stories of the myspace rapers.

[Floydy]

its probably because you have never met this "guy" before