Being ME

[Mysterious]

Yes, I still can't think of a reason why I would tell that girl when I know the answer beforehand. But really, if you don't ask her and wait for too long, and she gets into another relationship, you will feel very stupid. Believe me, it happened too many times to me before, and not going to let that happen again! C'mon dude!

Why would I even ask her if I know the answer beforehand? She has made it pretty clear she isn't going to get a bf until at least another 2 years. So, asking her now would be like making a fool of myself.

[Koekert]

Why would I even ask her if I know the answer beforehand? She has made it pretty clear she isn't going to get a bf until at least another 2 years. So, asking her now would be like making a fool of myself.

No it is just telling her how you feel. Believe me, it'll feel a lot better when you know she knows your feelings for her, and take that into account while being with you and other guys. I know I'm gonna get a "No" when I tell that girl, but you're going to get crazy if you don't just tell her, believe me!

[RDCA]

She can say that she doesnt want to be in a relationship right now. But, that's not the point. The fact that she would know that I like her and want to be more than friends would create an awkward situation and harm our currently good friendship.

I really feel the opposite, contrary to popular belief intimacy (non sexual during this reference) almost always strengthens a relationship. Even if she will say that she is not ready, it gives her the knowledge that you are willing. Which can help go from the change of friend to something more. Or even if you guys are not destined to be together in a sexual relationship it will give her the option to be able to confide in you, as many women do with their partners. This in turn will also help build you up and likely give you someone to talk to. As no offence, but you seek help like this online, and I seriously doubt you have talked to anyone in real life about this. Which is not a problem with me, but I find it always helps to talk to someone in real life about my problems. As over the internet it keeps you alienated from reality, and does not truly allow you to make bonds. So she can be your Support Forum in a way. Though even if so, seeking advise here is an amazing thing to continue doing.

Yes, but is that bad?

This is a bit about my philosophy, but actually yes. Avoiding conflict blocks the idea for new ideas and the natural way of life. In nature, if two animals have a conflicts of interests, either one backs down or they fight to the death, or till one is wounded to a point where fighting back is senseless. Thus the idea of the stronger one wins and becomes fact. We as humans have a more sophisticated way of doing that; debating. Though when that fails, we always do resort back to violence.

That is not particularly related to you, but by not engaging in arguments you are severing ties. Sometimes fighting can strengthen relationships, as by pointing out the differences, you discover the similarities. One of my favorite lines was from a movie in which there was a troubled relationship and they were constantly fighting, so they broke up and went their separate ways. Then they found a new partner, and there was absolutely no fighting. After a bit they broke up, and the two old lovers met back up, and one of them said, but I forget which, "We are fighting to stay together". This really made a difference to me. Though keep in mind, there are to different kinds of conflict, both negative and positive. You are treating both like how you should treat negative. If someone is calling you a name, or pointing out your flaws, then just sever the tie. But if you are having a debate about something, keep it going. Me and one of my best friends, share some totally opposite views but we love to argue them out with each other.

My narcissism is caused just because I think (and maybe I do) have a more mature understanding of the life and relationships around me. I think I usually handle serious things more maturely than others my age. I don't think it has anything to do with the girl.

You shall see one day that this girl is more involved with your narcissism than you think.

I don't see my friends as true friends cause none of them are close to me, except this girl maybe. I know that they are not close, that's not just pessimism.

People are compassionate beings, as just as you they long to make ties with people. They may not be your best friends, but a friend of any kind is a friend.

Lies of any type are wrong. Be them "white lies" or big lies.
I personally cant distinguish between the 2. Both are lies. People dont like liers. You need to work on that IMO.
I make a point of never lying. To not comment on something is better than to lie.
I could go on but i honestly feel this is an important point.
You make a point of telling us you openly lie to difuse a situation which tells me your comfortable doing this.

I disagree completely. If people didn't lie, we wouldn't get anywhere. If you lie for a reason, and you hold that reason true to your heart it may be good. I have trouble explaining this often when I try, I suggest you read the book, "To Kill A Mocking Bird", but JD Sallinger I believe. Atticus is a Christ figure in that book, but at the end, he still lies to a town in a way, in order to not kill a mockingbird, or commit a sin in a sense.

[Mysterious]

As no offence, but you seek help like this online, and I seriously doubt you have talked to anyone in real life about this. Which is not a problem with me, but I find it always helps to talk to someone in real life about my problems. As over the internet it keeps you alienated from reality, and does not truly allow you to make bonds.

I said in my main post - i haven't told any of this to anyone in real life and probably never will. I am not close enough to anyone. I believe I even stated the reasons - I dont think anyone I know will be able to understand all this rightly without thinking that I need professional help. This feelings are too complicated for me to talk about (with anyone) in real life. Plus, due to complexity of all these feelings, I would most likely confuse/burden the other person as well.

but by not engaging in arguments you are severing ties. Sometimes fighting can strengthen relationships,

Trust me, the arguments I avoid are not the type you mentioned. They are useless nonsense arguments about extremely petty things, most of these arguments are with my dad. I understand what you're trying to say but it doesn't apply in my case.

You shall see one day that this girl is more involved with your narcissism than you think.

Seriously? How so? Please do elaborate.
I honestly don't see any connection whatsoever. As all I think of myself is someone mature enough to understand, comprehend and maybe handle (in a better way than anyone else I know) human behavior and relationships. I don't think that's something bad.

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No it is just telling her how you feel. Believe me, it'll feel a lot better when you know she knows your feelings for her, and take that into account while being with you and other guys. I know I'm gonna get a "No" when I tell that girl, but you're going to get crazy if you don't just tell her, believe me!

Hmm, kinda makes some sense now. I guess ill tell her how I feel soon, even though I know it's not going to get me into a relationship and might create an awkward phrase in our friendship. Let's see what happens.

[Cronus]

You're exactly like me. I don't see a point in girlfriends, It's a waste of time. Especially after my last girl made out with a her ex boyfriend in a party. That's just humiliating me behind my back, and what did I gain? Nothing but trouble.

I never have and probably never will tell anyone in real life what I just said above. Maybe I'm afraid to get judged, maybe I'm afraid that people will not understand me properly or treat me very differently once they come to know all these.

Well, I'm not like this, but I am straight up with people. I have limits, but If I hate someone, I tell it to their faces. The funny thing is, they won't hate you, they'll want to become your friend even more when they find out you're not being "nice" to them. I consider all my class and some upper classes as my friends, but I really only need two or three close friends.

[biasa199]

Let me start with things I think describe me - introvert, narcissist, funny, overthinker, compulsive liar.

I've heard that before... where? Oh yeah, it's me.

My dad is a big time narcissist & a complete hypocrite.

Both my parents are assholes at times. I feel your pain.

m close to a girl and I do like her. It's gotten to a point where I want us to be more than friends but I'm too scared to name it a 'relationship'.....she will DEFINITELY say that she cant get into a relationship right now and it will probably affect the friendship we have now as well.

Once again, that's me.

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To be quite honest, just be you. Who gives a fudge about what other people think of you? Don't do crap to fit in. Do what your heart tells you. Acting like someone you're not backfires in the long run.

You know what? If nobody likes you, so what? 90% of the people I meet doesn't like me. They judge by the first impression. Do I care? No. I don't care if anybody likes me. I like me. And that's how I'm going to live me life.

[Mysterious]

@Cronus

but If I hate someone, I tell it
to their faces.

Well, I can't really tell my dad how much I hate him. It would just make the relationships more hostile and harder for me.

@biasa199

To be quite honest, just be you. Who gives a fudge
about what other people think of you? Don't do
crap to fit in. Do what your heart tells you. Acting
like someone you're not backfires in the long run. You know what? If nobody likes you, so what?
90% of the people I meet doesn't like me. They
judge by the first impression. Do I care? No. I don't
care if anybody likes me. I like me. And that's how I'm going to live me life.

I don't see where you got that from. I never said I care a lot about what other people think of me. That was not the point of this thread, sir.


@RDCA - Waiting to read your reply.

[xCookiez]

tell the girl how you feel. even if your giving out signals she wont know until she hears it.