webcam paranoia

[Freezing]

Hello there,

I really need some help or support....
About a year ago I had a bad period with my girlfriend and in this period I started chatting.

In a chatbox I met this girl (who was also in a relationship) and we started chatting on msn messenger. We shared some sexual interest and had a good time together.

Now after some months chatting I started to use the webcam with her. And yes, I went all the way on webcam. Now I used to keep my face out of sight but at one time I was naked and she accidently catched a glimp of my head. This happened because I covered my cam with my hand but accidently I didn't cover it far enough. She told me she had seen the side of my head.

I got really scared. What if she has recorded it and put it on a website?

She never pushed me to use the cam. We had a very nice contact. I am pretty sure that she really was a woman. She made some pics on my request and she gave me her facebook.

It is now about seven months ago that it happened. I asked her if she recorded it but she denied it. But how can I be sure? Meanwhile I deleted my msn account. Fortunately I used a fake name on msn.

Everything is ok now between me and my girl, we worked everything out.
But if there is a video and it would get out it would ruin my life.

I know that I shouldn't have gone this far on cam but I can't turn back the time (wish I could).

Each day I spent looking for my video on the net. I am obsessed with the idea that there is a video of me somewhere online. I am going crazy. Can I asume that there is no video? Because it is 7 months ago and I haven't found anything yet?

She told me she didn't record anything but you can never be shure. I feel so stupid that I accidently showed my face......
For some reasons it is tempting to believe that there is nothing recorded:
- if she was fake she has done a damn good job, faking to be a girl for half a year. Pictures etc where consistent.
- she herself had a boyfriend who, according to her did not know of her chatting adventures
- she said that recording me would be a danger to her career and relationship if a video got out made by her.
- after the "incident" she kept me on msn. Why would she do that if she had tricked me.
- she even was upset with me not trusting her.
But the main reason for my fears is that you never can be sure on the net...

Please help me, I am desperate. This is becoming an obsession for me. The only good thing is the lesson learned, I will never use the webcam again.

Thanx for your attention

[AceInfinity]

What purpose did she have to post it up anywhere if she did? And if she was on camera as well, why is she not worried about you recording or posting anywhere a video of her?

Doesn't make sense to me, but you're the pillar in the center of the situation that ultimately is corrupting your own thoughts here. Are you looking for extra reassurance that she didn't do that? Or are you looking for a reason to put this idea into disbelief?

Personally, I know for a fact that you create your own emotions here. Why can't we think of all of the possible positive outcomes? Because we fear the worst if it's any chance of the negatives being a possibility. You're probably over reacting.

I don't know who this girl is, and I don't care, it's irrelevant, and doesn't have anything to do with the concept here that i'm trying to explain. It WILL help you out if you can learn to control your thoughts, for this event and in the future. You can't let assumptions get the best of you if they can't be proven. So until that is proven, why waste your time in life worrying about it if it doesn't exist? It only exists as a possibility, in the reality of your thoughts, NOT the real world here.

You're questioning in the form of "What if's" and that's where your paranoia comes in.

Put things into perspective here, you're causing yourself more grief so far, than if it does exist out there. There's millions of sites out there that have the same content anyways, and so chances are that the fraction of the world that knows you, which is indefinitely small, are likely never to see it anyways even if it did exist, as that's lottery ticket probability you're dealing with here. And the focus on such a thing being that there's tons of other similar content out there is less to virtually none by the average person out there.

[★Cooldude★]

First of all, how good is your webcam? If it's not the best, and she only saw the side of your head, how likely do you think it would be for somebody to be able to recognize you?

Worst case scenario, I think, is that there is a video, but you cannot be identified. Most likely however, is that no video exists.

[ÜB3R]

I would really not worry about this my friend and i very much doubt she recorded you because there would not be any purpose in doing so. Also if she actually did record you you could just tell your girlfriend you were in a chat room and someone recorded you. Also searching the internet will not put your mind at ease and if she did record you it could be named anything. Best thing to do is think positive and keep on with your life ignoring anything that gets in your way. Hope this helps

[NekoChan]

If she made a video and released it, trust me it wouldn't ruin your life.
It wouldn't even matter really.

I had a similar experience and it only sucked for few years, 1 or 2 years.

[Odd Future]

It honestly wouldn't happen. You're making it sound crazy.

[Crystal]

I think you should just get over it buddy.. thinking about is just waste of time.. even if she has leaked the viddeo of yours you cant get removed.. So try and not to think over it.. think as if it never happened and that should make things better..
Wish ya luck with ur life )

[Odd Future]

I know what it feels like to be extremely paranoid about stuff as well and can vouch for OP when I say it's not fun at all. This seems like a stressful issue, but I honestly wouldn't worry too much about it like I said before. Just make sure to be safe on camera next time and realize what mistakes have already been made.

[Freezing]

Hello,
Thanx for your support.
I guess i am being too paranoid but one can never be sure.
I guess it is true. On a 640x480 webcam it is likely that it is hard to be recognized by the side of your head.
Your words made me feel better.
I think I just need some time to put this behind me.
One thing is for sure: my webcam is in the garbage....

[Freezing]

By the way,
Does anyone have expierence with his or her pictures or video on the net??
Is it easily removed form sites?