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01-01-2012, 03:09 AM
(This post was last modified: 01-01-2012, 03:41 AM by Chops.)
Yesterday my Mom flipped out. She rarely “flips out”/yells. This was more than yelling. She was screaming and throwing crap and yelling at my older brother. My brother was screaming at her attempting to calm her down, but she wouldn’t so my brother called her crazy and my Mom called him a drug addict and said that his girlfriend was a drug addict(They have both been sober for quite some time now(my brother and I are close)). Anyways, this scared my sister and I so we both started crying because she never does this. My brother started to cry because she wouldn’t calm down and yeah. She kept freaking out and then out of nowhere I started laughing my ass off (uncontrollably) and started saying she is going to “freakin die”. I never swear in front of my mom, not even when I’m crying. My sister looked at me like I was crazy. I kept laughing, and I couldn’t stop. I kept saying I was going to kill my mom and my sister got really worried and went upstairs to tell my mom and my brother to stop fighting and that she was “worried” about me and was saying there is something wrong with me. She said she was going to call the cops on me. My mom and sister and brother came down stairs and I looked at my mom (while laughing, still) and said, “You’re going to freakin die”. She didn’t reply to that and just took me into my room (she was still freaking out and crying (My mom)) and told me she was on her “wits” end. I told her to settle down before someone got hurt (I barely remember what her and I were talking about in my room, but that is all I remember). Anyways, she left and she usually apologizes if she kinda yells at us, but when she came home she said she didn’t feel like she owed anyone an apology. She is a single mother (she divorced my dad) and yes, I will admit my brother and sister and I are sometimes pigs (she was complaining how the house is never clean and how nothing can go her way). This fight started because she couldn’t find her racquet ball glove and she told my brother to look for it, but he said he’s not going to look for something he didn’t take (she said she took it).
Anyways, I’m more concerned about what I did. The laughing uncontrollably and casting out death threats. My mom never said anything about it to me afterwards or talked to me about it. I literally couldn’t control the laughing and the words just came out of my mouth. Should I be worried? What should I do?
My sister thinks I'm crazy and I think I'm some kind of killer. I don't care when close ones die or anything, sometimes I laugh at it. I know that's crazy, I just want to know whats wrong with me.
I apologize for any grammatical errors, I wrote this up pretty quickly.
EDIT: I think I was crying for my moms sake, because when I get mad I will literally kill someone (like I was saying up there how I sad I was going to kill her). My sister walked into my room (this was @ the beginning of the fight when my mom was screaming at my brother) and listened to the fight (my mom's room is right above mine) and I told my sister this, "(My sister's name) you need to help me. I'm going to freak the f-word out.". Then I started shaking and sweating and started crying and I told her, "(My sister's name) you seriously need to help me I'm going to kill mom". Then I started to laugh uncontrollably and cast out more & more death threats to my mom.
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01-01-2012, 04:07 AM
(This post was last modified: 01-01-2012, 04:07 AM by BreShiE.)
Hello Chops,
To me it sounds like you've been effected by something which happened to you during your childhood. When you was younger you may have witnessed a fight like that and it could have mentally effected it you. Maybe the fact that your mother has never lost it like that before triggered something and you let lose. The fact you say about how you don't care about others dying is quite concerning as It's a natural human emotion for a person to be upset by others' suffering.
If I was you I'd plan on visiting a psychiatrist, seen as though you yourself believe you would kill someone, catch it in the early years before it develops into something. Take a visit to your local psychiatrist and tell them exactly what you've posted here. The uncontrollable laughing is definitely linked to some sort of mental problem, not trying to say you're insane, not at all, it's just that's what it seems like to me.
Thanks,
~BreShiE
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01-01-2012, 04:15 AM
(This post was last modified: 01-01-2012, 04:18 AM by Chops.)
(01-01-2012, 04:07 AM)BreShiE Wrote: Hello Chops,
To me it sounds like you've been effected by something which happened to you during your childhood. When you was younger you may have witnessed a fight like that and it could have mentally effected it you. Maybe the fact that your mother has never lost it like that before triggered something and you let lose. The fact you say about how you don't care about others dying is quite concerning as It's a natural human emotion for a person to be upset by others' suffering.
If I was you I'd plan on visiting a psychiatrist, seen as though you yourself believe you would kill someone, catch it in the early years before it develops into something. Take a visit to your local psychiatrist and tell them exactly what you've posted here. The uncontrollable laughing is definitely linked to some sort of mental problem, not trying to say you're insane, not at all, it's just that's what it seems like to me.
Thanks,
~BreShiE
I honestly do think I'm insane though, and I realize it. I don't like psychiatrist's or therapist's or anything like that. I take medication for Social Anxiety, but I rarely take it. I would kill a lot of people, but I actually think about things first. What the consequences would be, what I should say/do if I was a suspect, how to get rid of the body, etc. I'm not saying I'm going to kill anyone, but it could happen. I'm kind of a vigilante kinda guy - only kill those who deserve to be killed, if the raped/killed/molested/etc someone. Like Dexter. I also loved the movie Hard Candy where Ellen Page was stalking a pedophile. I don't want to go to a psychiatrist because I'm sure I would be under watch or put on some medication that takes me to a whole new world. I don't want that. I realize that I am wrong for thinking these things, but I want to do them, but I realize I'm wrong. I shouldn't be in a mental hospital for it or anything because I actually realize it.
EDIT: I forgot to say thanks. Thanks a lot for your input! 
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But wouldn't you want to stop feeling that way? Surely it's going to put stress under your family/friends. You may not like to see a psychiatrist but it could well be the best thing for you. You will be put under supervision and medication, but wouldn't the end result be worth it?
I can't really relate you what you're saying because I don't believe in the killing of people. Unless they themselves have killed. Those who can kill need not live themselves in my opinion.
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(01-01-2012, 04:19 AM)BreShiE Wrote: But wouldn't you want to stop feeling that way? Surely it's going to put stress under your family/friends. You may not like to see a psychiatrist but it could well be the best thing for you. You will be put under supervision and medication, but wouldn't the end result be worth it?
I can't really relate you what you're saying because I don't believe in the killing of people. Unless they themselves have killed. Those who can kill need not live themselves in my opinion.
Well, I would want to be a vigilante type of killer, sorta like Dexter (if you're ever seen that show). Kill those who kill. I feel that nobody is innocent, no body. I could never hurt an animal because they're so innocent and dumb, but humans are intelligent and not innocent. They kill, they destroy, they pollute, they don't care, they hate, they don't forgive and so on. We are not innocent. We need to realize what we do and find out why we're doing it.
I have a few people who I would kill in the city I live in, they're registered sex offenders, and I know where they live, but they may be under watch or something and they're probably much older than me, bigger, stronger.
I also have any religion, but that is besides the point and I do not want to upset anyone that has any religious believes. Believe what you want! Don't let people tell you what to believe.
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You say how you don't have any feelings but have just stated how you couldn't hurt animals, which I find quite unique as killers begin hurting animals before continuing onto humans.
Trust me, just visit a psychiatrist and see what they think.
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01-01-2012, 04:42 AM
(This post was last modified: 01-01-2012, 04:42 AM by Chops.)
(01-01-2012, 04:40 AM)BreShiE Wrote: You say how you don't have any feelings but have just stated how you couldn't hurt animals, which I find quite unique as killers begin hurting animals before continuing onto humans.
Trust me, just visit a psychiatrist and see what they think.
I could hurt an animal, but they're innocent, so what is the point in hurting something that is innocent? I wouldn't feel bad if I killed an animal such as a dog or a cat. There is just no point in killing something that is doing good.
Does anyone else have any input? I do not feel like going to a psychiatrist.
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(01-01-2012, 04:42 AM)Chops Wrote: I could hurt an animal, but they're innocent, so what is the point in hurting something that is innocent? I wouldn't feel bad if I killed an animal such as a dog or a cat. There is just no point in killing something that is doing good.
Does anyone else have any input? I do not feel like going to a psychiatrist.
I honestly can't help you, you need professional help if you truly feel like that.
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(01-01-2012, 04:43 AM)BreShiE Wrote: I honestly can't help you, you need professional help if you truly feel like that.
I know I need professional help, but I do not want it. I would rather have some input from a few people I do not know. I said I wasn't going to kill anybody because I can actually think, I'm not psychotic.
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(01-01-2012, 04:45 AM)Chops Wrote: I know I need professional help, but I do not want it. I would rather have some input from a few people I do not know. I said I wasn't going to kill anybody because I can actually think, I'm not psychotic.
Yes, I understand that, but it's more of the fact that you still would kill someone.
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