I need to change, I really do, and I want the true me.

[Atmosphere]

Okay, so I don't do crap, but DRINK, SMOKE WEED, and PARTY! Those are my 3 things that make up my life. Plus going to bed really late and waking up past 2 pm. If I didn't choice the crowd I'm in now I could honestly be something more. I'm really smart, I always was, but I just can't pursue it anymore. I have street smarts, common sense, I'm the smartest one out of my friends. I'm just really lazy and my parents are both alcoholics. My family doesn't like they in the sense of them being very annoying and obnoxious when drunk.

At this point in my life I'm a junior and about to start school soon. I don't want to change because I like being in the "cool" group and girls like that I guess? I just don't see that it is worth hanging out with send offs, bullshiters, and people who do this crap. I want to find the true me and be around true friends.

Online friend: Unholy faith. (I love you, bro! No homo. Hooah (:! )

A thing he said to me which really makes me want to change:

You may seem "cool" now.
But later, you'll end up a loser.
I hope you don't.
I hope you freakin nut-the-fudge up.
Get smarter.
Hit the books, instrad of the blunt.
And get the fudge with your life, while this prick who fucks with you daily will finally realize how fudged he was.

The last about that "prick" is this kid always acts like he is the best, he is a narcissistic kid. He always bullies everyone around him and guess what I've known him the longest. I chilled with him for so long yet he treats me like a bitch. I would fight him, but it's not worth it. He might beat me, but still it's not worth it. I'm just tired of getting treated like a little bitch and he gets so mad if someone hits him. He constantly hits me all the time and it pisses me off. I tell him to stop.. yet he doesn't. Then I get pissed and tell him to really stop. Then he makes it out like I'm over reacting. He now wants to find one of his best friends or ex-best friend. It was the OG 4 and we've been bros for so long yet he wants to beat him up? We hang out with hella people don't get me wrong but this was a group within the group. Just pure bullshit, I don't see how you can fight a bro.

My parents are both alcoholics and it's very hard to live around this environment. I feel exactly what my other friend said:

My Online friend az said this to me:

4:52 AM - az: you
4:52 AM - az: grew up
4:52 AM - az: in the wrong life
4:52 AM - az: and was born
4:52 AM - az: into the wrong life
4:52 AM - az: and family

I feel that I'm an old soul and my Aunt even told me this too. I always try to help people and I'm very mature for my age - My family members told me this. Like say there is one slice of pizza is left and this kid wants it, but I really want it to. I'll just give it to him. Say there are no chairs left in the room and I'm standing, someone says "hey do you want to sit in my chair". I'll just tell them no, I'm fine, not that I like standing just because I want them to feel better. I always try to make people feel better and not me. I really don't know why. Hopefully that makes sense.

I just want to get smarter, get even more stronger, meet new people (true people), join the army.

I really don't see me going that far because I already fudged up. My friends (all people who party), My 2 drunk parents, and it's just hard to cope with all this bullshit.

It's going to be really hard leaving the life of a druggy and becoming who I truly am.

I love how only my online friends feel this way and not my real life friends. This is I guess because they just don't get it. What they're exactly doing with their life. I have to change and I will starting today.

"If you're not going to stop now, you never will, later never comes."

[Gerira]

I wish you all the best, and believe me, that's not cool. Only girls that go for that kind of boys are mostly some tramps, smart ones look for calmer more mature guys. Believe me, I burned myself with that lol, missed a lot of great girls due to my behaviour. Good luck man ;)

[Atmosphere]

I wish you all the best, and believe me, that's not cool. Only girls that go for that kind of boys are mostly some tramps, smart ones look for calmer more mature guys. Believe me, I burned myself with that lol, missed a lot of great girls due to my behaviour. Good luck man ;)

The hardest parts are like, first going out and actually doing what I'm saying. Plus just I won't be able to chill with my friends the same, if I do I'll become them again. I like being in this group because I feel cool and do girls like that? Maybe the reason I don't get girls is because I'm going for the wrong ones. I'm a different guy than my friends I feel. I'm the big partyer, but I feel different about girls than they do.

[geeK]

Since you are not making troubles it's ok. I do the same thing (ok, idk how often you smoke... but I'm doing it... let's say once in a week)... a lot of people are smoking today. That's who you are and people should accept you like you are. Maybe it will be harder for them in the beginning, but they will see that you are not an ass coz ur smoking. Try talking to someone new... make new friends and start hanging out with them.
I was on position that my friends were looking on me like junkie and idiot who is just smoking weed, but it changed. I'm having girl... really smarter and I'm not stupid as a lot of them were thinking. Just graduated with 4.76/5.


[and yeah, don't look at my nickname haha doesn't mean that I geek and I don't know to party and do stuff]

[YNL]

It will be hard for them, talk to somebody, and try to make some new friends.

[-Infectious]

I understand how you feel in a way.
I have family who smoke pot, drink beer, roll, and do all kinds of stuff, I smoke weed (sometimes) and every time I do, I say to myself, "I don't want to do this, it isn't going to get me anywhere." but, I still do it.

Anyways, I want to be a web designer, I want to graduate high school and go to college and get a degree and get a good job, I can't do that if I keep doing what I am doing.
What I am trying to say is, if you want to do something with your life, you have to strive for it, you have to actually want it.

If you are worried that the "cool" kids wont like you if you stop doing drugs, then that should make you want to stop even more because if you worry about your "friends" not liking you because of what you do to help yourself become a better person, then that proves that they are not true friends.

A true friend is what you need. I am here for you, PM me if you need anything else, I hope I helped.. and good luck.

[BreShiE]

Hello peek,
First of all may I say it seems like you have nice online friends around you, they speak sense, In a way.

If you want to "nut-the-fudge-up and hit the books instead of the blunt" then do it man, I don't think you will lose friends because of this, surely they'll understand. With the attitude you have, you will go far in life, trust me. You seem like a very sensible and mature person.

I don't feel there's much more I can say, apart from good luck and choose the right path!

[FISH]

I would find true freinds who accepts you how you are instead of beingg what your not.

[-Infectious]

I would find true freinds who accepts you how you are instead of beingg what your not.

He is not being what he's not.
He is what he says, he just wants to change.

[Dragon45]

You might lose some friends in the process of "clean up" but if they leave, they weren't your real friends after all. You'll meet tons of BSers throughout your life, high school is full of them. In fact, that's where I started to see the bigger picture because of such people.

As for the bad habits, try to drop them ASAP along with bad company as drug charges are not something you want on your record.