So Messed Up

[Steezman]

Hi everyone, this is my first post and I registered today. I have recently gone through a lot of bad crap lately and no one really understands me. So I am a freshman at college right now and I was in a relationship with my girlfriend for 2.5 years since high school and ended up breaking up with her first semester to figure out my life. I love this girl so much you have no idea, we are so much alike and words just can't explain it. Anyway she broke up with me second semester for the reason that "our relationship was screwed up and I broke her heart" and she did it over the phone while I was at school. This literally killed me, I have talked to so many people, tried so much but nothing really worked. I came home on weekend and we talked about things, and said we would take a month of to figure out what we want and try to work on our problems and then see what we wanted to do on from there. In the mean time though I have picked up smoking and just gotten drunk because I cant deal with the pain. Im not really happy, I never was unless I was with her. I know people say there are other girls out there but I am different, I am not your regular guy that just starts dating other people. All I am saying is that I know I have made bad choices but it is my only way of coping with the pain, the stress, and frustration. I am doing really good at my school and have a 3.85GPA and am ranked in the top 10% of my grad. class. I have a bad feeling that I will really get into smoking, and just end up never being happy. I hang out with friends but I feel very lonely, I am sad, and think about suicide. I know I won't do it but i just think about it.

[Swat Runs Train]

Well the first step is to find other coping mechanisms, take up a sport, lift weights, swim, join a boxing gym or just a club of some sort, all are positive outlets/distractions, as opposed to smoking and drinking.

Start there and slowly take things up a notch, every day try and improve the way you live a little bit, you're dwelling far too much on the feelings you have and the relationship you had, you can't let that drag you down, you've surely already suffered enough from it.

[Pulse]

Depression.

My friend, you must find an activity to help you get your mind on something else. Such as a new video game or hobby. Hacking, for example. Or just chatting online. Facebook is not preferred since you may easily get bored.

It is true when people say "There are many other girls out there". And when they do, you should listen. I never really listened to that, myself. But, as I went around and traveled much farther than I usually do, there are many pretty females. It may even be a different borough/state.

[Steezman]

Thank you everyone for the great support and advice so far. I have only been smoking for three days and each day i only smoked 3 Djarum Black Cloves, and I am quitting today. I can;t get addicted from that can I? (I don't inhale). Also I think my hobby will be going to the gym and staying fit since I am an athlete. It is just hard because the depression comes back a lot.

[Pulse]

Do not smoke. Smoking can ruin your life. I see you are athletic, it can ruin your career, dreams, and athletic abilities. There are other ways to disperse the feeling of depression.

[Steezman]

Yeah, I try to do that. My dreams are horrible sometimes at night. It just sucks cause just when you think it works it doesn't.

[Do0ks]

Damn, I can't think of the pain your going through.. The good part is you don't have to see her everyday. Take your time. Smoking weed won't affect your GPA. I smoked weed through out college and had a 3.78. What will affect you is your feelings your having.
I went through the same deal and found this.
http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Over-a-Break-Up
This helped ALOT. I really hope it helps you to, You don't need to feel this way and you can stop this feeling with work. You and me both know nothing comes easy without hard work but with that hard work comes satisfaction.

[Steezman]

Yeah I have looked through a lot of guides and i don't feel like they apply to me really...idk. Im just happy i got a 3.9 this semester and I am going home on tuesday and ready to just do nothing.

[rebirth49]

Hey there!!
1st thing: Think !! If u continue to smoke, u may end up hving health problems!! Think about the ppl who love u: Ur family, ur friends!! Do they love to see u this way!! NO!! They LOVE u & seeing u this way is hurting them a lot. Think about them!! Move on!! do it atleast for them!!
2ndly, does she even knw u r wasting urself for her!! Is she even worth ur time?Why cry over somebody who doesn't even realize what u r going over for her!! They r just not worth the time!!
3rdly she has clearly moved on!! come to terms with it!!And move on!!
Ps: try this!!i knw its kiddish but it works!! take out an old photo of her, burn it & flush it!! And take a deep breath!! Tell urself:I m Moving on !!
U knw wat? Wn d person u r suffering for dnt evn knw den they are not worth ur precious time!! Spend time with ur family. Is she much more then ur parents: who gave birth to u, nurtured u
Man u are surrounded by love, recognize it!!
mayb she ws nt the one!!
Nd as i see u seem like a pretty great guy who values ppl in ur life!!
Its her loss that she lost a wonderful person like u. i pity her that she won't have a b'utiful person like u in her life.
And as u value ppl in ur life, value the most important ppl in ur life:ur parents!!
U cn make a list of the most imoprtant ppl in ur life. Compare them with her!!she will seem less in comparison to them!! trust me!! try to think about hilarious moments in ur life that DO NOT include her but includes ur parents or ur friends!!
Life is totally worth living to have more such moments!!
N-joy it!! u gt to be you only once in ur life & then u leave !! Appreciate the life God hs given to u.

Love is a gift. If you receive it, open and appreciate it. If not, do not worry. Someone somewhere is still
wrapping it for you. :-)

[Steezman]

@rebirth49 I agree with you on everything. it's jut really hard because there were so many good memories. And you know what i am a nice guy, athletic smart, and caring, and if she doesn't want that I am sure some other girl does. The problem is though in College girls don't want relationships which sucks. When I get home I will get rid of everything she ever gave me, and move on I guess.