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My grandmother is ill
#51
I dread days like today. Days when I'm left home alone to spend with grandmother. I'm attending my own business, TV, computer, etc., and she just constantly touches things in our house. She dissembles table tops and lays all the vases across the hallway floor. She takes all of our magazines in our living room and scatters them across the hardwood under the couch. I just can't take it anymore. I'm starting to feel what my mom is going through. She's been doing this for a while now and I finally see how annoying it is to take care of my grandmother. We always gave my mom crap for snapping all the time and hitting my grandmother but I'm so close to that point that it scares me. I can't take a 10 minute crap without returning to find her turning the house upside down. Sometimes I'm standing behind her while holding her by the arm, walking her back to her room to put her to bed and all I can think of is to smack her right in the back of the head. Is something wrong with me? The stress is building up and it's taking a toll on everyone. I tell my grandmother not to do something and not to touch something and slap her hand to show her ‘OFF!, don't touch that!’ and she only replies ‘Yes, but…’. It's just ridiculous. I can't do it anymore. She can't stay here anymore. I'm ready to do whatever it takes to get her out of this home.

Just the other night, it was 3:45 AM and I woke up to sounds. I knew it was her. I saw her petting our Christmas tree. For some reason her attention span is low and curiosity level is very high. She's captured by the slightest things. She could spend four hours sitting on a chair watching nothing but the ground bellow her. I honestly agree that there's nothing left for her. Sadly enough, she's taking everyone down with her. We've all just about had enough and we're nearing out patience.

WHAT DO I DO! PLEASE! THIS IS A CRY FOR HELP!
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#52
Short of confining her or sedating her there really isn't too much you can do, you say she has a long attention span, does she seem to enjoy watching TV or similar? Perhaps an interactive game or something could could keep her "out of your hair".

How is she financially? Assuming your family/her could afford it I'm sure some homes could offer the extra care and attention she needs.

As far as dealing with the resulting stress (by the way the urge to commit violent acts when frustrated can be considered "normal" as long as you don't act on them) you need to come to the conclusion that it truly isn't her fault, her body simply doesn't have the mental capacity to realize how annoying what she's doing truly is.

Sorry if I suggested or asked something that was already covered in this thread, I simply don't have time to read it all right now (I'm at work) but your post seemed rather urgent.
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#53
Damn. I feel really bad for you. Surely it's better for her to have professional rehabilitation treatment?
|| MSN = Hot-choc@live.com ||
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#54
U should read 60 Tips for Helping People who have Schizophrenia @ http://www.schizophrenia.com/family/60tip.html

Despite your situation, you can try ignore her "doing'. The more you ignore it, It will slowly decline your rage towards and lower the annoyance. Give her space and let her do whatever she wants. All you have to do is not to let it bothers you. Feed her and other necessary things. The rest do what you wanna do and taking frequent look at her to ensure she won't hurt herself.

If you have money, you can hire a caregiver to take care of her around the house or some center/treatment or let her live with other relatives.

Further information if needed:

Coping With Schizophrenia
http://www.mentalhealth.com/story/p52-sc04.html

Marriage to a Person that Has Schizophrenia - One Husband's Perspective
http://www.schizophrenia.com/family/marriage2.htm

[Image: death.png]
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#55
Quote:Short of confining her or sedating her there really isn't too much you can do, you say she has a long attention span, does she seem to enjoy watching TV or similar? Perhaps an interactive game or something could could keep her "out of your hair".

I edited my post. I meant to say she has a small attention span but is drawn to irrelevant objects. she's fascinated by the most idiotic things. Today, she was using the backside of her hand to rub against the ceramic tiles on our floor in circles, imitating the shapes of the designs on it. It's like she's backtracked and she's a child again.

Quote:How is she financially? Assuming your family/her could afford it I'm sure some homes could offer the extra care and attention she needs.

Nursing homes are expensive and we nor my grandmother has the funds to pay for it. I've even suggested my mother to pay for one month of care just to help us settle things and figure something out but apparently you can't have a one-month-trial, so to speak.

Quote:As far as dealing with the resulting stress (by the way the urge to commit violent acts when frustrated can be considered "normal" as long as you don't act on them) you need to come to the conclusion that it truly isn't her fault, her body simply doesn't have the mental capacity to realize how annoying what she's doing truly is.

I understand that but I can't balance it out anymore. It's almost like a child winning for their parent to buy them something. The parent knows they're just a child and don't know any better yet sometimes the urge to yell at them overcomes.

Quote:Sorry if I suggested or asked something that was already covered in this thread, I simply don't have time to read it all right now (I'm at work) but your post seemed rather urgent.

I appreciate you trying to help but try reading it all when you have a chance.

(01-07-2011, 01:14 PM)Hot Chocolate Wrote: Damn. I feel really bad for you. Surely it's better for her to have professional rehabilitation treatment?

We've considered it but can't afford such a treatment.

(01-07-2011, 01:15 PM)Death Trap™ Wrote: U should read 60 Tips for Helping People who have Schizophrenia @ http://www.schizophrenia.com/family/60tip.html

Despite your situation, you can try ignore her "doing'. The more you ignore it, It will slowly decline your rage towards and lower the annoyance. Give her space and let her do whatever she wants. All you have to do is not to let it bothers you. Feed her and other necessary things. The rest do what you wanna do and taking frequent look at her to ensure she won't hurt herself.

If you have money, you can hire a caregiver to take care of her around the house or some center/treatment or let her live with other relatives.

Further information if needed:

Coping With Schizophrenia
http://www.mentalhealth.com/story/p52-sc04.html

Marriage to a Person that Has Schizophrenia - One Husband's Perspective
http://www.schizophrenia.com/family/marriage2.htm

Thanks for the links but I AM ignoring her. The problem is when she comes into our rooms ten times a night. You tell her to get out and she doesn't understand what the fudge you're trying to say. It's really annoying. Also, you're sleeping and then things start to break. She touches everything and breaks things in my home. My mom gets mad and then all hell breaks lose. Even if we literally tuck her into bed and then go to sleep, you'll find her walking around in the sheer darkness later, with no set goal in mind, just feeling her way around the house by touching the walls and door-frames. It's ridiculous. And when she does that, she walks into stuff, knocks things over, etc. IT'S OUT OF HAND!
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#56
How old is your grandma?

I found an this article. @ http://schizophreniadiaries.com/tag/denial/
[Image: death.png]
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#57
(01-07-2011, 02:01 PM)Death Trap™ Wrote: How old is your grandma?

I found an this article. @ http://schizophreniadiaries.com/tag/denial/

Roughly 88 years old I'm assuming.

I read the diary but I don't see how that's supposed to help me?
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#58
It is implying that you have to deal with it until she dies, sadly.

The only possible option to do is:
1. Get help from professional case managers and caregivers at residential or day programs.
2. Care institution such as nursing homes.
3. Get help from other family relatives to care for her.
4. Get hospital treatment.
5. Take medication.
6. Develop tolerance towards her.
[Image: death.png]
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#59
(01-07-2011, 02:57 PM)Death Trap™ Wrote: It is implying that you have to deal with it until she dies, sadly.

The only possible option to do is:
1. Get help from professional case managers and caregivers at residential or day programs.
2. Care institution such as nursing homes.
3. Get help from other family relatives to care for her.
4. Get hospital treatment.
5. Take medication.
6. Develop tolerance towards her.

I was afraid of getting an answer along those lines.
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#60
(01-07-2011, 03:24 PM)Solidify Wrote: I was afraid of getting an answer along those lines.

It seems everything else is not working for you considering lack of affordability to get treatment/nursing homes and physical and mental weights she brings to the entire family.

Have you tried seeking help outside? Like professional expert?
[Image: death.png]
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