Communicating Troubles

[Reality]

Well I'm not a fan of eight paragraph stories about how my problems make my life miserable, so I'll keep this as short as possible.

Not to seem rude or anything, but I feel as though I'm pretty respected/liked as opposed to hated and looked at as an idiot throughout the forums, and that I have plenty of friends.

However, in real life, I suck at communicating with people. The words never come out right when I say them like they do when I chat with people via msn, etc.

I used to be fine, people still laugh when I say jokes in class and stuff; but nothing big anymore. I can't be myself IRL like I can on the internets. I'm not trying to make a huge friend group on the internets either, I just can't do it irl anymore. I'm a lot less addicted than I used to be and I've been talking more, but I can't even talk to girls like I used to either. When I message them I just say 'hey' and that's how they will respond if they lead them into nothing, and then the conversation dies after 'whats up' because I can't think of anything anymore.

Any tips

[Sam]

Several issues are raised here, you want help talking to girls?

[Reality]

No I want help getting my social life back in general >_<

[Beautiful]

Hey Reality =D

Ok so I don't have this problem because I don't socialize, I'm not 'shut in' or 'addicted' etc, I'm anti-social and content with it. But I suggest you THINK about what you say before hand, think "I'm going to say hi, they will say hi, they or I will say whats up, I'll say not much did you go to the football game etc" Play out the conversation and it will go smoothly, like practicing lines for a play etc. That should clear up awkwardness now just be OUTGOING A good practice for becoming more 'outgoing' is to Free Run/Parkour that builds outgoing-ness, body health, And more. Also try talking to random strangers, or striking a conversation with a store clerk at check-out.

[Riggs]

The problem appears highlighted in the fact that when you're online you're consistently thinking of what you're going to type, then typing it, then reading over what you've just typed from a recipient's perspective, then posting it.

Obviously this can't be done in real life, so I suspect you've likely become more comfortable orientating the social preperation of text-based social standing and slowly dismissed your familiarity of socializing with people directly.

My Advice:
Adopt a new perception of yourself. See yourself as a fun-loving people person. Get on your XBox 360 or PS3 headset more often and start conversations with random strangers in-game. Pull up your Skype account and start phoning friends as opposed to sending them text-based messages. This will help boost your confidence and broaden your comfort zone to a point where you feel more comfortable talking to people in public directly.

[Nahomish]

Well, the best way i know it is like this:


Guys: When you talk to guys, talk about something guy-related, it shouldn't be hard because i assume your a boy too? Try to talk about games, girls, anything that your friends like.

Girls: As most of us know girls are a bit more complicated than guys, so when you talk to them ask them like how's their day beeing, what they've done and other stuff, soon enough they'll randomly start to txt you about things and it'll move forward and they'll call you to hang out with them.

Not the best way for you maybe, but this is how i did to be more social in general.

[Shock]

i have noticed, You need to take a walk, get away form your computer/xbox, etc...
and get out some.
I have this problem too...
I would just try that for like a week.
(Helps if you are grounded.)

[єץє]

I agree with Wal-Mart. Many people find that when they go out for a little while they feel a lot better.

[Reality]

I might request bans on all the sites I'm on so I can straighten out.

[єץє]

I might request bans on all the sites I'm on so I can straighten out.

Just don't request one here