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Really into this girl but is it worth the pain
#1
Okay so I have fallen for this girl big time. Most of my recent relationships have led me to pain and hurt feelings and just not fun stuff.

She has a boyfriend right now so I am not planning to go out with her right now, but she likes me too. I feel kind of hopeless in this position because I feel so much of this feeling that I don't really get that much anymore.. yet my heart makes me feel sad because I am scared to put myself out there because girls have broken be down bad before where it's just got real bad.

I just am really scared to tell her my feelings (romantically because we both know we like each other, but have never really sat and got really serious about it ) and get hurt. I don't want to end up how I have before. I really like her, but at the same time it's almost putting me into depression.

My heart can be one of the best to have when I am in love, but it seems to get crushed more easily that way. I already feel really down.
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#2
Well start hanging out with her more (if you aren't), then if /when she breaks up with her current boyfriend, try to do more interactive things like the movies alone or something. Maybe try to hang out with her and her boyfriend so she sees you aren't trying to make them split up or anything ^^. I've never really encountered a problem like this, but that's all I've got :p
#3
(09-15-2010, 06:50 PM)Reality Wrote: Well start hanging out with her more (if you aren't), then if /when she breaks up with her current boyfriend, try to do more interactive things like the movies alone or something. Maybe try to hang out with her and her boyfriend so she sees you aren't trying to make them split up or anything ^^. I've never really encountered a problem like this, but that's all I've got :p

I do hang out with her a lot, including already alone. She likes me, but idk man. Whatever it is she's still holding on to the other guy. I'm sure she still likes him, but like I don't know. I think that she might be one that I could really actually stay with because we live really close to each other and I really can be the sweetest when I am some girls boyfriend. It's just that I seem to get hurt the most because usually me and a girl will get real close and then something will happen where I have to break up with them or they have to break up with me :/

I hate when stuff like this happens :/
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#4
Well you don't want her to break up with her boyfriend and go out with you and then turns out she ends up missing her boyfriend though ^^. That'd be bad. I say just wait it out a bit and if she's hinting that she doesn't like him or she wants to break up with him then tell her how you feel.
#5
I would say something dumb like "pure love will only ever breed happiness and positivity," but that's complete bullshit and I can't believe I even thought of that myself.

So I'm going to leave you this, instead, as unhelpful as it is.
j
If you love her, you'll wait for her. If she loves you, you can trust her. Love is supposed to be hard. It's supposed to hurt. It's supposed to make you want to tear your hair from your scalp and stab something. What makes it love instead of attraction or infatuation is the willingness to go through the pain and trials. Your get to choose whether or not the crap that happens actually impacts your mood, and if you'd honestly rather not deal with the bad, then you don't love her, and your suffering is useless. Choose to either rejoice in the future and love her through everything or choose to give it up.

Love is the product of choices.
#6
(09-15-2010, 07:07 PM)Guest Wrote: I would say something dumb like "pure love will only ever breed happiness and positivity," but that's complete bullshit and I can't believe I even thought of that myself.

So I'm going to leave you this, instead, as unhelpful as it is.
j
If you love her, you'll wait for her. If she loves you, you can trust her. Love is supposed to be hard. It's supposed to hurt. It's supposed to make you want to tear your hair from your scalp and stab something. What makes it love instead of attraction or infatuation is the willingness to go through the pain and trials. Your get to choose whether or not the crap that happens actually impacts your mood, and if you'd honestly rather not deal with the bad, then you don't love her, and your suffering is useless. Choose to either rejoice in the future and love her through everything or choose to give it up.

Love is the product of choices.

That was really good.

(09-15-2010, 06:58 PM)Reality Wrote: Well you don't want her to break up with her boyfriend and go out with you and then turns out she ends up missing her boyfriend though ^^. That'd be bad. I say just wait it out a bit and if she's hinting that she doesn't like him or she wants to break up with him then tell her how you feel.

So don't even tell her romantically how I feel?
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#7
Meh Mad

You'd probably be better off not taking relationship advice from me ^^
#8
But you do make sense. It's not good to rush after a breakup.
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#9
I find myself in this situation alot. Patience is a virtue, and sometimes it may hurt to wait, but could be the best choice.
#10
Honestly man you 2 should sit down somewhere and talk about your feelings with each other. But say that you have a boyfriend and you really don't want to be the cause of them breaking up or anything. See what she says back, If she says well I don't like him as much as I like you. Ask her what she likes about you so much? Then say ok well what do you like about him? See what she says. Then if she says she likes you more and you out weigh him then be like ok before anything happends I would like to go out on a few dates with you JUST AS FRIENDS NO KISSING NO Sexual Stuff Hugging is ok. Don't take her to dinner or nothing, Lunch is ok, Movies is kinda pushing things unless it's a daytime movie. I really don't know what to tell ya other than this.
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