I can't do this again.

[WolfWoodring]

My friends are no help. I can't seem to make my parents happy. And now I'm falling for someone exactly like my ex.

My ex and I met at a local bar. That night she introduced me to cocaine. Long story short, I stopped when with her, but couldn't get her to slow down. I went to jail while living with her and came out to my debit card at -500$, credit card at $1500, car transmission shot, and all my furniture sold.

Since then, my parents took me in again. I have been living here since January. I have worked my ass off at many jobs, just doing me. I recently found a depressing kick that led me back to coke. I just kicked the habit two weeks ago, but not before draining my bank. I still dont have a car, and am only $1000 into getting one.

Around the same time I quit coke, two weeks ago, I met a girl. Beautiful little thing she is. We got drunk three days ago and had sex, protected...however, I realized after I came that the condom slipped off inside of her. She didn't realize it...but it was in there for a good 30 minutes with my man juices floating away. She's not on birth control either, which I just foud out today.

On top of this scare, I now know she loves Vyvanse, she got locked up for prostitution a year ago, she's getting evicted very soon, and she has a court date Friday that she needs 40 hours of community service for, even though she has only done 18 hours, which leads to the possibility of jail time.

Despite all of this...and with my past/not needing a relationship right now...I have found myself unable to get her off my mind. If me and her do happen, I fear the cocaine coming back. I fear instability. I fear emotional trauma...yet...my heart says it is the right thing to do.

I haven't told her my feelings, as she just got out of a long term relationship with a guy who was gay (not joking). The way she talks in public, she doesnt want a relationship. Yet when we are alone, she falls asleep on me. We talk for hours and dont get bored. We actually have fun just being around each other.

I dont know what to do, and this situation is severely depressing me. Help? Advice?

[TheGuruOfPerpetualLove]

Hello Woodring,

I just want you to know that you will get through this.

I can't say i've yet interacted with coke, 

but i will say that I do understand the path of addiction, and the pain that both using and not using can bring.

That being said, i really wish you luck and encourage you to be strong and avoid going back down that path.

I think you know its in your own best interest to do that.

After that I can't tell you whats right to do in your circumstance, but I would avoid your ex.

From what it sounds, even assuming she avoids the problems w/ jail time and the other stuff you listed, there is a good chance that

pursuing that relationship would likely lead you to coke again.

I understand it may be hard, especially if you really do like this lady, but just remember that there are a lot of people out there,

and if you are there to support them, they will unquestionably do the same for you, and that may be what you need. 

It can be extremely hard to work through addiction, and some people really just need another voice there to help them through it.

First post, new to this forums biz but i figured if I'm seeking the help from people, only would be right to try and do the same for others

cheers man, life is messy and amazing. find ways to make the amazing outweigh the prior

[Prince]

Hello Woodring,

I just want you to know that you will get through this.

I can't say i've yet interacted with coke, 

but i will say that I do understand the path of addiction, and the pain that both using and not using can bring.

That being said, i really wish you luck and encourage you to be strong and avoid going back down that path.

I think you know its in your own best interest to do that.

After that I can't tell you whats right to do in your circumstance, but I would avoid your ex.

From what it sounds, even assuming she avoids the problems w/ jail time and the other stuff you listed, there is a good chance that

pursuing that relationship would likely lead you to coke again.

I understand it may be hard, especially if you really do like this lady, but just remember that there are a lot of people out there,

and if you are there to support them, they will unquestionably do the same for you, and that may be what you need. 

It can be extremely hard to work through addiction, and some people really just need another voice there to help them through it.

First post, new to this forums biz but i figured if I'm seeking the help from people, only would be right to try and do the same for others

cheers man, life is messy and amazing. find ways to make the amazing outweigh the prior

Wow, that alignment is very painful to read. Why don't you try keeping it as left alignment?