Parent died, gf unsupportive

[chef222]

Without going into details, my mother passed away recently.

I am able to cope with this as best I can, as it was something inevitable due to a long term illness.

But what I can't seem to understand, is that my girlfriend isn't supportive at this moment in my life. She has been unemotional, and preoccupied with everyday tasks and activities of her own. She is in fact, continuing as though nothing has happened.

She is asking me to devote to daily tasks, which is something of an unnecessary burden. I would be grateful to have time with her to talk. The reason is that my family are in a totally different part of the world, so I am all alone dealing with this. Plans are in place for me to travel, my circumstances are that I cannot travel immediately.

Rather than being simply unsupportive, she has managed on an occasion to say hurtful things.

I am a strong person inside, but feel deeply hurt that the one person in my life that I thought would be considerate at this time, is opposite. We haven't been arguing, but some everyday tasks and other people involved are making her respond in this manner.

The point of this post is really to ask for advice on whether I should reconsider my future with this woman. I always hoped the closest person to me in my life wouldnt behave this way. If I am not getting the proper reaction at times like this, then I dont feel there is any point in continuing.

[Sam]

First of all, sorry to hear about your loss.

I think perhaps that you should address these issues with her as soon as possible. Perhaps she doesn't realise how much it's affecting you and as for the hurtful comments, could it not be misconstrued as general sarcasm? I mean in your emotional state I think it would be a lot easier to offend you.

I don't think you're expecting too much when it comes to support from her, but the key here is communication. Without it assumption will kick in and will make tensions rise fast.

[chef222]

Thanks for the kind reply.

I should have made it clearer in my post, that the hurtful comments are not sarcasm, but directed at particular aspects of life and relationships. I would go so far as to say that they not the sort of thing that should be said in moments of temper even for anyone in an argument. An example of such might be (but not in this case) that there is no need for me to return after the burial. You see where I'm going with this.