The Eyelash That Ended The World [My First Short Story]

[JustHayden]

This is the first short story I have ever written. I hope you like it!

The Eyelash That Ended The World

John is a saftey inspector at one of the most powerful nuclear reactors in the world, located in the nevada desert, that powers all of Nort America. His job is to make sure the cooling system is in check, and the reactor does not overheat.

It's monday morning 6:26AM, and John checks in at the plant and starts his 6:30AM inspections. "Morning Phil, Everything looking good in sector 7-G?" John asked. "Yea everything looks good, except for the rat that got behind the boiler, I'm naming him crispy" replied Phil, "You want him for lunch?". "Ha ha no thanks, ask Jesse though, he might". "Alright, see you around lunch".

It is now 11:35Am, John heads to the cooling system control room for his last inspection before lunch hour. "Everything seems to be in check" John said to himself, and sits down to write his report. "God damit, I got an eyelash in my eye", John stated. He grabs a bottle of water and flushes the eyelash out of his eye, oblivious to the water dripping on the control panel.

The lunch bell rings and John heads to the lunch room. "WOW!" yells John as he doges a black blur walking into the lunch room. "What the hell was that?", asked John. "That was crispy, I think he was too crisp for Jesse liking", replied Phil. Everyone laughs. "fudge you Phil" Jesse said as he was leaving the lunch room. "I guess Jessie doesn't have a sense of humour", said John. "Ha ha no crap", replied Phil.

As John, Phil, and the rest of the table is still laughing, the master alarm goes off. "What the hell!?", shouts Joey. Hayden slams through the door, "The cooling system is offile, the reactor is leaking!", he shouts. Everyone jumps up and rushes out of the lunch room and to their stations.

John and Phil rush to the cooling system control room. "How the hell could this have happened!?", Phil shouts. "I don't know, I checked the cooling system before lunch and everthing was fine!", John replied. "fudge!" shouted John, "We can't start the backup system from here, we have to go inside". "I'll go", said Phil. "You can't, the heat is too intense, you'll die in seconds!", replied John. "If we don't cool down the reactor, the explosion will blow a hole in the atmosphiere!", Shouted Phil.

"5 minutes till meltdown" said the computer voice. "We have to try! I think there's a heat suite in the closet", staded Phil. "If your going to try, take this fire extinguisher to keep you cool", said John.

"2 Minutes till meltdown" said the computer voice again. Phil finishes putting the heat suit on, and opens the door to the cooling room. "I made it to the backup system", said phil in an exaused voice. "1 minute till meltdown" said the computer voice. "Hurry up Phil!", yelled John. All of a sudden, the fire extinguesher exploads from the heat, throwing Phil behind the boiler. "Phil!", screams John.

"10 seconds till meltdown". John looks up at the timer. "9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1".

There is a Simpsons reference somewhere in my short story, can you find it?

[gsc3po]

sector 7-g. Homer's place. if you wanted to expand the story a little, ad some atmospheric descriptions of the scenes the characters are in. or describe what john is feeling as he realises the severity of what is happening.
" as John looked at the timer he felt a void opening in the pit of his stomach, he felt the blood drain from his face as though it were trying to escape his body and avoid the blast that would vaporise it, and John along with it" etc.
good start though.

[fanta]

Very nice little story, I like it

[JustHayden]

sector 7-g. Homer's place. if you wanted to expand the story a little, ad some atmospheric descriptions of the scenes the characters are in. or describe what john is feeling as he realises the severity of what is happening.
" as John looked at the timer he felt a void opening in the pit of his stomach, he felt the blood drain from his face as though it were trying to escape his body and avoid the blast that would vaporise it, and John along with it" etc.
good start though.

Ya it would have been a lot better if I put more description into it. Thanks for the feedback!