04-11-2018, 08:00 PM
I need to get this of my chest for one of the final times, I can't take living like this having so much hate for someone, I don't know what to do. Im going to take you back to explain....
My Name is Ross I'm 23 going on 24 years old, ever since I can remember I always looked up to my cousin Kylie, and for a long Time we had been inseparable, I did everything you her and I know its terrible but I loved her more than I loved myself she meant everything to me and we wasn't just cousins to me she was my best friend I'm getting emotional even writing this down.
As I just mentioned I did everything for her I would clean for her, if she was hungry get out of bed to go get her food, if she wanted something I would go out of my way and drop everything I was doing just to make her happy, people knew we was so close as it was pointed out to me I couldn't have really meant much to her it sounded more like I was convenient to her that I was her little servant. I remember she started dating this boy and so that it wouldn't appear her house was messy or that she was messy I used to finish my 9-5 admin job drive to her workplace (she owned a barbershop) get her house keys drive to her house pick up any dog poo, give the house a quick run through to make sure all was in order and back down her shop to clean it before she left because I thought she has had a long day and I have to kind of show my worth to be around her.
We did everything she even came to my brothers wedding in Mexico, now my family and her family had never completely saw eye to eye, my mum and hers are sisters no massivly close as they are both one of 7 children raised by my nan who is a lovely person and I love very dearly.
she came to Mexico in April 2015 flew over with 2 of my other brothers to see the wedding for a week (the rest was there for 2 weeks) we shared a room me and my nephew and then she shared the bed with me even though the first night she pushed me out of my own bed pretending to be drunk (you getting a very selfish person theme here)
fast forward may June 2015 I had taken out a £4000 bank loan to take a barbering course in London because she wanted me to go and work for her( my parents said it would end in tears) I was so happy me and my number 1 person in my life would get to spend even more time together. course paid for Im now of to London on 22nd September 2015. during the summer she had questioned me about something she was told by her new boyfriends friend that I was infact gay and in a relationship which I was
keeping secret from friends family and HER I didn't understand what was going on it was all new for me. one day out of the blue while in work I received a text something on the lines of ..
HI Rossy, I've been thinking about a few things over the last couple of months and I just want to let you know weither your straight, gay, bla bla bla (can't 100% remember that text) I will fully understand I will always be here to talk to you if you want to discuss it thats fine if you don't we will carry on as if nothing has been said. AND THAT WAS THAT...
I text her back saying ill come to your house after I finish work.
my partners friend has no intentionally to be nasty said to a boy she was seeing that me and Rhys were in a relationship he then thought ill tell Mathew(Kylie Partner) who then text her while she was out shopping with her mum.
Any way I went to the house walked passed Matthew in the kitchen who pretended he didn't know went upstairs as Kylie was in the bathroom she acted like nothing had gone on and then said shall we go for a cigarette we went and sat in my car as soon as she door closed she says.... SO and I said it true and the first thing to come from her mouth was ( I freakin KNEW IT I KNEW IT SOO... HOW ARE WE GOING TO TELL PEOPLE ? YOUR PARENTS? FRIENDS?)
I WAS PETRIFIED.
now I look back there was no support for me with her she was just looking at the halo above her head she can't wait to tell everyone she has a gay cousin/ best friend and she helped me through it, to become the person I always wanted to be .
(or more like the person she wants me to be) didn't think this at the time.
I said I can't I just can't tell people. her reply WELL IM NOT GOING TO LIE FOR YOU IF PEOPLE ASK ME IM GOING TO TELL THEM THE TRUTH.
(can you believe it. throughout all of this the amount of things I remember is because its etched in my brain and every single day I an getting reminders or remembering things and I can't take any more of it).
I told her I can't Kylie i would rather kill myself and still sometimes I feel the same now, (for anyone who has had to deal with there sexuality, some people manage, some people don't. I'm not alone to feel this way.)
we hugged she said lets see what he looks I showed her pictures. she already knew Mathew (her partner) had already sent lots of his Facebook profile pictures over to her for her to analyse.
rhys was already nervous by this time because he knew how much I loved this girl and was exited to meet her and be accepted in by her.
the next day she had obviously had a few words with Mathew or a few words with herself because her mind changed in the fact she was going to keep this a secret until I was ready to tell. she closed the living room window from the outside because Mathew was sat in the lounge and we has taken a seat on the patio. I said Kylie I know he knows she asked how I explained that Rhys friend was so upset that she told his friend and thats how it was passed on. Kylie apologies to me and even though I now felt so different that after all these years she was the first person I openly told my secret to I went to Asda with her and Mathew to pick up and table and chairs ( I'm sorry I'm babbling this is just nice to get it off my chest)
she never actually got to meet Rhys even though he is a very extremely talleneted hairdresser she always said she wanted him to do her hair, things became comfortable it was so nice to finally talk to someone about Rhys it seriously was starting to go great. I felt that after the way she reacted and DARE I SAY support me I can tell more people when I'm ready. she would listen to me talk to Rhys on the phone, we began to see less of each over as now my time was devoted to seeing Rhys I suppose she was fine I still went to her shop everyday after work to clean up and help her.
(now comes the plot twist)
can I just add I knew everything about Kylie, I also knew Mathew who had just come out of prison was a drug dealer, cocaine massively, my one brother who had a drug problem kept asking me to ask him to get hime some. I never liked drugs I'm totally against them.
I have a friend who I worked with called jaf (Julianna) she lives in Australia but came home to visit her nan for a while so while she was home my old boss gave her a job so she could save to go back to Australia in a few weeks time she lives not far from me so she said could you pick me up take me to work and then take me home so as I would be taking her home that week I couldn't go straight to kylies from work because I would have to practically drive home to take jaf home then come back around on myself to go back to the shop to see Kylie (CLEAN PROBABLY ) or (SCIVVY HER AROUND) until Friday 21st august 2015. Jaf didn't need a lift she was going somewhere to get her eyebrows tattooed on so finally I get to go see my 'BEST FRIEND' I went to she shop had a laugh with her cleaned up watch her doing a cut because as I previously said I was going to work for her. spoke to meg who was kylies apprentice , I really liked meg, lovely girl really got on the three of us was going to be the dream team.
Meg got picked up by her brother and taken home where as normally Kylie would get me to take her because she would make something up like I have to go to my mums house or maybe got an appointment whatever it would be at the time.
shop shut me and Kylie sit in her car smoking a cigarette, a boy comes up to her window.. 'kyl did I leave my phone in your shop ? I can't find it and I've either lost it up her or at the tanning shop' she replies ' I don't know Jonny go and have a look'..... she takes the keys out of the ignition he walks of up the road out of sight to see if his phone is there. Less than 2 mins later he returns ' its not there kyl if you find it will you let me know' ' yes no problem she says, and of he walks to retrace steps I expect I would in that situation.
Once he goes Kylie says, ' if I park on the corner now will you just make sure he has locked the door because he is a such a drip' I'm sure thats the word used anyway.
she drives up onto the corner of her shop stops right outside I take the keys with me with the thought of if the shop was still unlocked I don't have to go to the door go back to the car and back to the door again just to lock it , so I get the key walk to the door try the handle, the door is locked but just for safety I unlock the door open the door a small amount close it re lock it and thats that.
we then drive to Tesco we see our mutual friends mum who really is her friend but I because close to her over the time me and Kylie was at our closest, Kylie and the other barbershop owners share a Christmas party see so she said, to make sure that as I'm going to work for her make sure my name is down for the Celtic manor Christmas party ' yes no problem kyl'. me and Kylie go into Tesco do some shopping then sit in the car say our love and go home.
the day is now Saturday 22nd September.
I wake up to this text message.
KYLIE
-------------
Ross you had that phone last night didn't you and then you put it back?
(in my head I thought she was joking so I replied)
' Yes just thought id see how much I would get for it on eBay hahah'
she replied ' I am deadly serious you took that phone last night'
I couldn't believe what I was hearing I was so confused she was either joking and playing around or very serious.
I didn't even think twice, didn't shower put clothes on and drove ten mins to her shop opened the door she was cutting hair at the time, meg her apprentice didn't even look at me, I said are you joking while stood in the door way.
her reply ' I am deadly serious I can't talk about it a min just wait by there'
Ohh I stood there 15 maybe 20 minutes for her to then say i can't talk now you can wait if you want. I was so upset I slammed the door got back in my car and text her something on the lines of
' Kylie I cannot believe you would think I would do something like this to you, you should know me more than anyone and I would never do anything to hurt you I care more for you than myself I never seen the phone to take it and I never would have taken the phone anyway,( I still to this day don't even know what phone it was, BECAUSE I NEVER SAW IT) im so upset by these Acusations
funnily enough she instantly replied and I'm upset to, we have all stolen before if you just admit it we can move on and forget that this has happened I won't tell none of the family about it just admit it'
I replied 'im not admitting to something I haven't done, tell the family I don't care I haven't done this and I am certainly not admitting to it.
( why should I, the one person I loved and trusted with my life why would she think I would do it,)
Can I add her entire family are thieves always have been can't help themselves once wanted my father to help steal materierals
for kylies dads cousins builders yard to help build the extension on the house they had bought in the year 2000.
also can I say in the text messages one minute she would say after I left you at Tesco last night I felt something was up so I went back to the shop and found the phone and another message said I came in this morning and found the phone? (so which one was it hun?)
I went straight home so upset crying to my mum telling her I didn't do it.at the time I tried ringing another friend of ours, beth, she was pregnant at the time and I stood by her, kept her company single mum, we went out July 31st for kylies birthday and I didn't drink just to keep her safe I also went home the same time as her to make she was okay, anyway no answer.
3 days had passed hoping Kylie would realise what she has said was wrong and out of character (still waiting for this day)
I had a text of Beth very blunt ' you rang?' no kisses from her I replied ' yes just seeing how you are ? xx''
she replied... ' I'm fine I heard about what happened with you and Kylie''
I thought fudge this so I replied... oh right well let me just tell you its not true
10 mins later Kylie text me this
Ross why would I be lying to people, what would I benefit from from it the only liar her is
you. youve had a boyfriend for the past 6 months and haven't told anyone, I told you I wouldn't tell no one about
this I would just never speak to you again. your mum doesn't need this at a time like this. ( my dad had just been diagnosed with prostate cancer) while out in Mexico he had to have a colostomy bag fitted because he couldn't pass water so it was a hard enough time anyway.
then Beth text about how much I've upset Kylie and that I don't understand what I've done to her.
I ignored both messages.
throughout all of this I didn't stick up for myself because I was so scared she was going to out me. for someone who won't have to go through the coming out process its hard to understand.still now inside I'm scared as my parents don't know, and I'm still not ready to do it (which is my choice) weither its been 3 years or not. and Kylie should also understand the difference she thinks if I can lie about being gay I can lie about stealing a phone black or white its as simple as that ( SHE IS SO WRONG)
ANYWAY.....
its been 3 years I've had to be in the same room as her on 2 occasions. my aunties 60th birthday (I was going for my aunt not for her) and my uncles funeral in September just gone. my brothers who are supposed to be my support still speak to her and go and have there haircut, every time I see people who like me talk to her it makes me feel sick. this girl can I add has made me want to kill myself, she has made me feel worthless.
she outed my to come of my closest friends before I could come around to telling them
she has told members of my family that I am gay
FOR HER TO THINK I AM THAT BAD OF A PERSON FOR EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER DONE FOR HER I LOOKED UP TO HER SHE WAS MY ROLE MODE, AND FOR HER TO THINK THATS THE BEST WAY SHE CAN GET BACK AT ME.
WHY DID SHE DO THIS TO ME ?
no one expect for Rhys and my closest friends know how much I have cried, got upset, felt suicidal all because of her.
she is a rather popular person and I hate that people don't see how much of an evil person she is. I can not even write how much
still to this day she has taken and is still taking over my life. until I can let go I can not move on with my life.
I am forever scared by this, I've been asked a few time by people where something is and I will have a serious breakdown thinking they think I stole something.
the only thing that was stolen was my love attention and time so if anything she is the thief
I hold so much hate for her no one can understand I want her to suffer for what she has done and is still doing to me.
if she died I would be happy not sad thats how I feel.
why am I the guilty one and she is the one who holds so much hate it should be the other way around
I miss her with all my heart and perhaps its because I've never been hurt or betrayed before by someone so close to me is why I can't let go.
I don't know what more to say because I could just go on and on.
I will never be able to speak to her again or forgive her for what she has put me through,
my family is all divided or don't speak to eachover since then. I don't speak to my brothers because of it.
she ones on Facebook accused a man of stealing a motorbike and the words out of one of my brothers mouth
' I never thought Kylie was like that'
are you joking after whats she has done to me.
I hate seeing her talking to family or family talking to her, her name makes me so freakin angry. someone please help me because this has made me ill. I can't write on her my emotions or show you. I am desperate.
DESPERATE to find some closure from this
because how can I move forward if I am stuck in the past.
I find myself looking on my old Facebook just to see whats she has posted, this is not normal I obviously no where near over this I am pleading for someone to help me, there is only so much I can manage, only so many time I can have someone ask me about her and have to explain this story, I don't want to talk, see or even think about her, and the pain
sometimes I think I could easily call the police and get her arrested for dealing cocaine but I can't because I'm not that sort of person, not the person she is portraying me as and she knows this. why would I put her in the same prison I've been in inside by head for nearly 3 years?
Im pleading for help from someone before I can't take no more
Please someone help me.
My Name is Ross I'm 23 going on 24 years old, ever since I can remember I always looked up to my cousin Kylie, and for a long Time we had been inseparable, I did everything you her and I know its terrible but I loved her more than I loved myself she meant everything to me and we wasn't just cousins to me she was my best friend I'm getting emotional even writing this down.
As I just mentioned I did everything for her I would clean for her, if she was hungry get out of bed to go get her food, if she wanted something I would go out of my way and drop everything I was doing just to make her happy, people knew we was so close as it was pointed out to me I couldn't have really meant much to her it sounded more like I was convenient to her that I was her little servant. I remember she started dating this boy and so that it wouldn't appear her house was messy or that she was messy I used to finish my 9-5 admin job drive to her workplace (she owned a barbershop) get her house keys drive to her house pick up any dog poo, give the house a quick run through to make sure all was in order and back down her shop to clean it before she left because I thought she has had a long day and I have to kind of show my worth to be around her.
We did everything she even came to my brothers wedding in Mexico, now my family and her family had never completely saw eye to eye, my mum and hers are sisters no massivly close as they are both one of 7 children raised by my nan who is a lovely person and I love very dearly.
she came to Mexico in April 2015 flew over with 2 of my other brothers to see the wedding for a week (the rest was there for 2 weeks) we shared a room me and my nephew and then she shared the bed with me even though the first night she pushed me out of my own bed pretending to be drunk (you getting a very selfish person theme here)
fast forward may June 2015 I had taken out a £4000 bank loan to take a barbering course in London because she wanted me to go and work for her( my parents said it would end in tears) I was so happy me and my number 1 person in my life would get to spend even more time together. course paid for Im now of to London on 22nd September 2015. during the summer she had questioned me about something she was told by her new boyfriends friend that I was infact gay and in a relationship which I was
keeping secret from friends family and HER I didn't understand what was going on it was all new for me. one day out of the blue while in work I received a text something on the lines of ..
HI Rossy, I've been thinking about a few things over the last couple of months and I just want to let you know weither your straight, gay, bla bla bla (can't 100% remember that text) I will fully understand I will always be here to talk to you if you want to discuss it thats fine if you don't we will carry on as if nothing has been said. AND THAT WAS THAT...
I text her back saying ill come to your house after I finish work.
my partners friend has no intentionally to be nasty said to a boy she was seeing that me and Rhys were in a relationship he then thought ill tell Mathew(Kylie Partner) who then text her while she was out shopping with her mum.
Any way I went to the house walked passed Matthew in the kitchen who pretended he didn't know went upstairs as Kylie was in the bathroom she acted like nothing had gone on and then said shall we go for a cigarette we went and sat in my car as soon as she door closed she says.... SO and I said it true and the first thing to come from her mouth was ( I freakin KNEW IT I KNEW IT SOO... HOW ARE WE GOING TO TELL PEOPLE ? YOUR PARENTS? FRIENDS?)
I WAS PETRIFIED.
now I look back there was no support for me with her she was just looking at the halo above her head she can't wait to tell everyone she has a gay cousin/ best friend and she helped me through it, to become the person I always wanted to be .
(or more like the person she wants me to be) didn't think this at the time.
I said I can't I just can't tell people. her reply WELL IM NOT GOING TO LIE FOR YOU IF PEOPLE ASK ME IM GOING TO TELL THEM THE TRUTH.
(can you believe it. throughout all of this the amount of things I remember is because its etched in my brain and every single day I an getting reminders or remembering things and I can't take any more of it).
I told her I can't Kylie i would rather kill myself and still sometimes I feel the same now, (for anyone who has had to deal with there sexuality, some people manage, some people don't. I'm not alone to feel this way.)
we hugged she said lets see what he looks I showed her pictures. she already knew Mathew (her partner) had already sent lots of his Facebook profile pictures over to her for her to analyse.
rhys was already nervous by this time because he knew how much I loved this girl and was exited to meet her and be accepted in by her.
the next day she had obviously had a few words with Mathew or a few words with herself because her mind changed in the fact she was going to keep this a secret until I was ready to tell. she closed the living room window from the outside because Mathew was sat in the lounge and we has taken a seat on the patio. I said Kylie I know he knows she asked how I explained that Rhys friend was so upset that she told his friend and thats how it was passed on. Kylie apologies to me and even though I now felt so different that after all these years she was the first person I openly told my secret to I went to Asda with her and Mathew to pick up and table and chairs ( I'm sorry I'm babbling this is just nice to get it off my chest)
she never actually got to meet Rhys even though he is a very extremely talleneted hairdresser she always said she wanted him to do her hair, things became comfortable it was so nice to finally talk to someone about Rhys it seriously was starting to go great. I felt that after the way she reacted and DARE I SAY support me I can tell more people when I'm ready. she would listen to me talk to Rhys on the phone, we began to see less of each over as now my time was devoted to seeing Rhys I suppose she was fine I still went to her shop everyday after work to clean up and help her.
(now comes the plot twist)
can I just add I knew everything about Kylie, I also knew Mathew who had just come out of prison was a drug dealer, cocaine massively, my one brother who had a drug problem kept asking me to ask him to get hime some. I never liked drugs I'm totally against them.
I have a friend who I worked with called jaf (Julianna) she lives in Australia but came home to visit her nan for a while so while she was home my old boss gave her a job so she could save to go back to Australia in a few weeks time she lives not far from me so she said could you pick me up take me to work and then take me home so as I would be taking her home that week I couldn't go straight to kylies from work because I would have to practically drive home to take jaf home then come back around on myself to go back to the shop to see Kylie (CLEAN PROBABLY ) or (SCIVVY HER AROUND) until Friday 21st august 2015. Jaf didn't need a lift she was going somewhere to get her eyebrows tattooed on so finally I get to go see my 'BEST FRIEND' I went to she shop had a laugh with her cleaned up watch her doing a cut because as I previously said I was going to work for her. spoke to meg who was kylies apprentice , I really liked meg, lovely girl really got on the three of us was going to be the dream team.
Meg got picked up by her brother and taken home where as normally Kylie would get me to take her because she would make something up like I have to go to my mums house or maybe got an appointment whatever it would be at the time.
shop shut me and Kylie sit in her car smoking a cigarette, a boy comes up to her window.. 'kyl did I leave my phone in your shop ? I can't find it and I've either lost it up her or at the tanning shop' she replies ' I don't know Jonny go and have a look'..... she takes the keys out of the ignition he walks of up the road out of sight to see if his phone is there. Less than 2 mins later he returns ' its not there kyl if you find it will you let me know' ' yes no problem she says, and of he walks to retrace steps I expect I would in that situation.
Once he goes Kylie says, ' if I park on the corner now will you just make sure he has locked the door because he is a such a drip' I'm sure thats the word used anyway.
she drives up onto the corner of her shop stops right outside I take the keys with me with the thought of if the shop was still unlocked I don't have to go to the door go back to the car and back to the door again just to lock it , so I get the key walk to the door try the handle, the door is locked but just for safety I unlock the door open the door a small amount close it re lock it and thats that.
we then drive to Tesco we see our mutual friends mum who really is her friend but I because close to her over the time me and Kylie was at our closest, Kylie and the other barbershop owners share a Christmas party see so she said, to make sure that as I'm going to work for her make sure my name is down for the Celtic manor Christmas party ' yes no problem kyl'. me and Kylie go into Tesco do some shopping then sit in the car say our love and go home.
the day is now Saturday 22nd September.
I wake up to this text message.
KYLIE
-------------
Ross you had that phone last night didn't you and then you put it back?
(in my head I thought she was joking so I replied)
' Yes just thought id see how much I would get for it on eBay hahah'
she replied ' I am deadly serious you took that phone last night'
I couldn't believe what I was hearing I was so confused she was either joking and playing around or very serious.
I didn't even think twice, didn't shower put clothes on and drove ten mins to her shop opened the door she was cutting hair at the time, meg her apprentice didn't even look at me, I said are you joking while stood in the door way.
her reply ' I am deadly serious I can't talk about it a min just wait by there'
Ohh I stood there 15 maybe 20 minutes for her to then say i can't talk now you can wait if you want. I was so upset I slammed the door got back in my car and text her something on the lines of
' Kylie I cannot believe you would think I would do something like this to you, you should know me more than anyone and I would never do anything to hurt you I care more for you than myself I never seen the phone to take it and I never would have taken the phone anyway,( I still to this day don't even know what phone it was, BECAUSE I NEVER SAW IT) im so upset by these Acusations
funnily enough she instantly replied and I'm upset to, we have all stolen before if you just admit it we can move on and forget that this has happened I won't tell none of the family about it just admit it'
I replied 'im not admitting to something I haven't done, tell the family I don't care I haven't done this and I am certainly not admitting to it.
( why should I, the one person I loved and trusted with my life why would she think I would do it,)
Can I add her entire family are thieves always have been can't help themselves once wanted my father to help steal materierals
for kylies dads cousins builders yard to help build the extension on the house they had bought in the year 2000.
also can I say in the text messages one minute she would say after I left you at Tesco last night I felt something was up so I went back to the shop and found the phone and another message said I came in this morning and found the phone? (so which one was it hun?)
I went straight home so upset crying to my mum telling her I didn't do it.at the time I tried ringing another friend of ours, beth, she was pregnant at the time and I stood by her, kept her company single mum, we went out July 31st for kylies birthday and I didn't drink just to keep her safe I also went home the same time as her to make she was okay, anyway no answer.
3 days had passed hoping Kylie would realise what she has said was wrong and out of character (still waiting for this day)
I had a text of Beth very blunt ' you rang?' no kisses from her I replied ' yes just seeing how you are ? xx''
she replied... ' I'm fine I heard about what happened with you and Kylie''
I thought fudge this so I replied... oh right well let me just tell you its not true
10 mins later Kylie text me this
Ross why would I be lying to people, what would I benefit from from it the only liar her is
you. youve had a boyfriend for the past 6 months and haven't told anyone, I told you I wouldn't tell no one about
this I would just never speak to you again. your mum doesn't need this at a time like this. ( my dad had just been diagnosed with prostate cancer) while out in Mexico he had to have a colostomy bag fitted because he couldn't pass water so it was a hard enough time anyway.
then Beth text about how much I've upset Kylie and that I don't understand what I've done to her.
I ignored both messages.
throughout all of this I didn't stick up for myself because I was so scared she was going to out me. for someone who won't have to go through the coming out process its hard to understand.still now inside I'm scared as my parents don't know, and I'm still not ready to do it (which is my choice) weither its been 3 years or not. and Kylie should also understand the difference she thinks if I can lie about being gay I can lie about stealing a phone black or white its as simple as that ( SHE IS SO WRONG)
ANYWAY.....
its been 3 years I've had to be in the same room as her on 2 occasions. my aunties 60th birthday (I was going for my aunt not for her) and my uncles funeral in September just gone. my brothers who are supposed to be my support still speak to her and go and have there haircut, every time I see people who like me talk to her it makes me feel sick. this girl can I add has made me want to kill myself, she has made me feel worthless.
she outed my to come of my closest friends before I could come around to telling them
she has told members of my family that I am gay
FOR HER TO THINK I AM THAT BAD OF A PERSON FOR EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER DONE FOR HER I LOOKED UP TO HER SHE WAS MY ROLE MODE, AND FOR HER TO THINK THATS THE BEST WAY SHE CAN GET BACK AT ME.
WHY DID SHE DO THIS TO ME ?
no one expect for Rhys and my closest friends know how much I have cried, got upset, felt suicidal all because of her.
she is a rather popular person and I hate that people don't see how much of an evil person she is. I can not even write how much
still to this day she has taken and is still taking over my life. until I can let go I can not move on with my life.
I am forever scared by this, I've been asked a few time by people where something is and I will have a serious breakdown thinking they think I stole something.
the only thing that was stolen was my love attention and time so if anything she is the thief
I hold so much hate for her no one can understand I want her to suffer for what she has done and is still doing to me.
if she died I would be happy not sad thats how I feel.
why am I the guilty one and she is the one who holds so much hate it should be the other way around
I miss her with all my heart and perhaps its because I've never been hurt or betrayed before by someone so close to me is why I can't let go.
I don't know what more to say because I could just go on and on.
I will never be able to speak to her again or forgive her for what she has put me through,
my family is all divided or don't speak to eachover since then. I don't speak to my brothers because of it.
she ones on Facebook accused a man of stealing a motorbike and the words out of one of my brothers mouth
' I never thought Kylie was like that'
are you joking after whats she has done to me.
I hate seeing her talking to family or family talking to her, her name makes me so freakin angry. someone please help me because this has made me ill. I can't write on her my emotions or show you. I am desperate.
DESPERATE to find some closure from this
because how can I move forward if I am stuck in the past.
I find myself looking on my old Facebook just to see whats she has posted, this is not normal I obviously no where near over this I am pleading for someone to help me, there is only so much I can manage, only so many time I can have someone ask me about her and have to explain this story, I don't want to talk, see or even think about her, and the pain
sometimes I think I could easily call the police and get her arrested for dealing cocaine but I can't because I'm not that sort of person, not the person she is portraying me as and she knows this. why would I put her in the same prison I've been in inside by head for nearly 3 years?
Im pleading for help from someone before I can't take no more
Please someone help me.