:(

[mercuryvenus]

Hope I don't get to sidetracked here, not really sure exactly what I want to say. I will just make it up as I go along lol. I also don't want this to turn into a topic about drugs or anything so but that is kind of a factor here so I won't leave it out but I will try to stay vague about that

I am a drug user and am going through withdrawals now like many other times. I use drugs because I feel like crap, but when I use them I still feel like crap after. I think that is why I am posting this, the withdrawals. Probably wouldn't be any other time.

Even though I like them which will make it harder, I want to stop. I'm not really sure what I am posting this here for, I guess just to get it off my chest and hope for some encouragement.

I am depressed a lot, don't really have friends, and think being bi polar might contribute, I wasn't diagnosed or anything but I can say I am like 99% sure I am bi polar.

I have low confidence/self esteem which idk if that is from doing drugs or if that is why I do drugs. But I always try to blame everything on myself thinking I am just some pathetic loser when I know it is my fault and I can change it. But for example when I meet someone new I like and want to be friends with them or get to know them I never do because I don't want them to know anything about me because I think I am a crap person. I am not necessarily lonely, it is the reason why I am lonely.

Again, I am not really sure what the point of posting this was.. just always feeling down and don't want to.

[Calcium]

Try and go out, make sure you're at your best and be sociable, think that you're the king of the world and everyone else is a minion to you. That will help boost confidence & also make sure you talk with a strong voice, don't be shy.