brothers, lovers. killers.

[Into the Wild]

Alright. Before you read this you might wanna read, " So there's this guy...
" and then, " bestfriends?". it will make more sense.

So here we are today.. me and twix. still friends. barely bestfriends anymore. usually everyday now, we get into some kind of fight. he gets irritated with me cause i 'complain'. which i do, but there's reasons...

day by day my life is getting worse. my brother beats me whenever he's around and my mom doesn't do anything because he's her favorite child. i am covered in bruises and scratches. it hurts. emotionally and physically.

i've had thoughts of suicide here and there.. not much anymore. thank god...

i've cut twice. trying not to do it again.

here's the real issue;
Twixx. <3

not so much <3 anymore...
like i said up there, (^^^^) we get into fights practically everyday. it hurts me. it tears me apart. i'm 14 now, and i know im young but i really do love him. i've been trying to move on from him, but it's just not helping. all songs, quotes, thoughts remind me of him. there is not one moment out of the day that he isn't in my head. i cannot get over him. CANNOT.
i've known him since Novemeber 13, 2011. best months of my life. he has changed me so much( for the better), he helps me through anything and everything. constantly makes me happy, smiling, laughing. everything that you could ask for. yes, i'm sure he is reading this too. hope you realize all of this twix...

back to the issue; the fighting. every. f*cking. day. i cant take it anymore. and i'm always the one apologizing... i don't even see him anymore at recess. nope. not at all. all we do is text now. we used to ooVoo, talk at recess, hug, talk late on the phone, hangout. but noo. not anymoreee. it's stupid fights too...he's trying to get me to smoke weed next year- HELL TO THE F*CKING NO. im not that kind of girl... never. ever. ever.

&& now, i just don't know whether i'm better off quitting this friendship(evem if its that) or just keep holding on to him. i really don't know. i love him. and it hurts me even more that "we" will never happen again... <l3

thank you for reading this... comment with advice.

[NekoChan]

What, you are a girl? I have been missing out.

All the time I tried to help you, I thought u were a guy.

[Into the Wild]

What, you are a girl? I have been missing out.

All the time I tried to help you, I thought u were a guy.

nope, haha i'm a girl.

[Subscription]

Sometimes its just better to let go. It hurts only once.

[NekoChan]

I don't really see a boy and a girl being best friends.
And it looks like you love him more than being a best friend.

[Koekert]

I don't really see a boy and a girl being best friends.
And it looks like you love him more than being a best friend.

Actually that happens quite often, my bro's best friend on preliminary school were a guy and a girl, they were very close and this is the same case for me now. I have lots of friends but I especially ALWAYS do stuff with this one girl and guy.

[Into the Wild]

I don't really see a boy and a girl being best friends.
And it looks like you love him more than being a best friend.

i really do love him more.