Can't find happiness anywhere, so just going with the fall.

[Samurai]

Just some background information. I have liked this girl from the beginning of year 10. It started to become love and from that point up in till now. Two and a half years I have refused sex, and other advances from other girls because I only want it to be with her. In December after all this time she said she had feelings for me. It was the happiest month of my life. Before that everything sucked. Then in January she ended it, all she said to me was she prefers us as friends. But now she won't even speak to me, she ignores her friends when they tell her to speak to me and she got annoyed when I asked to see her. I have to see her everyday in college. Once again like before I'm horribly depressed, Hate myself, always angry. Home life sucks, it's boring with only a couple of other houses and it's shouting everyday.

I have tried anything to get happy. but I can't. So now I'm doing drugs and soon I will start to cut. It's only a matter of time before I lead on to the worse. And before any of you say 'oh you're doing this over a girl'. She was not just a girl. She is way more than that. And it's not just her. I'm fed up with the depression and anger. It's either hurt me or hurt someone else.

I don't know what to do. I can't move on when I see her everyday. I dream of her every night, but that's not long as sleep is hard for me.

[Denny Crane]

Looks like nothing you can do.
Sorry , but put life into perspective, dont hate life.

[ÜB3R]

Unforutnately resorting to drugs is not goin to help at all my friend and cutting yourself will not acheive the things you want in life most. However by the way it sounds she has feelings for you also however she just does not want to show them by losing all contact with you. The best thing to do would tell her exactly how u feel ask her if she would be willing to try again if not then unfortunately you will have move on. But never forget there is someone out there for everyone dont think she is the love of your life becuase there is always someone waiting who loves you truely. Hope this helps.

[lover and fighter]

Pull it together!! Samurais are warriors! Please forget this chick she does not want you. It won't be easy, and for the time being while you do love her, be thankful to God that you have the capacity to love someone, cause there will only be a special few you will truly feel that way for throughout your life (mark my words, there will be other special ones). Like Ub3r said, there is someone down the road waiting who will love you. You're young and this is a great time to take note of how you behave in relationships and strive to improve. Take this time to learn what you prefer and start forming the idea of what you are looking for- personality traits that naturally mesh with yours. If you're in college, use this time to focus on your studies and finding your passion (besides her). There is a lesson here that can make you better, please don't let this experience make you worse. It will get better with time, the heart has a way of naturally healing itself if you don't close yourself up. Stay strong Samurai!

[///ViNcE]

All you can look to do is actually look around & stop feeling depressed. I get that all the time from my parents. I feel like that with my GF right now. But what I always look is in the future. In the future, I can have anything I want. You have to move on from this girl & actually look for new things to do. Actually move out with everything you have to do even if it requires you to work two jobs.

[Crystal]

Doing drugs wont make you get the girl or make you happy.. Its just gonna ruin your life further.. If you really love the girl then face life and tough it out friend.. By doing drugs and acting like a lose would get you NOTHING. God is there just face life without the wrong things and he will surely make you more happier then u were with this girl..
Follow the right path and leave drugs...

[Retribute]

I know exactly how you feel as this exact thing has happened to me before. Just don't do drugs as that will solve nothing at all. Just focus on something else; keep your mind off of this.

[Secrets]

Just some background information. I have liked this girl from the beginning of year 10. It started to become love and from that point up in till now. Two and a half years I have refused sex, and other advances from other girls because I only want it to be with her. In December after all this time she said she had feelings for me. It was the happiest month of my life. Before that everything sucked. Then in January she ended it, all she said to me was she prefers us as friends. But now she won't even speak to me, she ignores her friends when they tell her to speak to me and she got annoyed when I asked to see her. I have to see her everyday in college. Once again like before I'm horribly depressed, Hate myself, always angry. Home life sucks, it's boring with only a couple of other houses and it's shouting everyday.

I have tried anything to get happy. but I can't. So now I'm doing drugs and soon I will start to cut. It's only a matter of time before I lead on to the worse. And before any of you say 'oh you're doing this over a girl'. She was not just a girl. She is way more than that. And it's not just her. I'm fed up with the depression and anger. It's either hurt me or hurt someone else.

I don't know what to do. I can't move on when I see her everyday. I dream of her every night, but that's not long as sleep is hard for me.

Read what you had to say, Look man; Don't think you have to do drugs over a girl YOU think you love and is your soul mate.
Self injuring yourself isn't the way to solving this issue. I see these type of issues all around in daily life.

If she ignores you, learn to do the same. Do not butt kiss someone who doesn't show emotion for you.
Let that person fly on it's own and you do the same.

Go out and experiment new things - No, not drugs.
Get your mind off her for a while, it'll be good for you.