My parents marriage is falling apart. What to do?

[Slick_]

Ok, so my dad started drinking a lot about a year ago. It got to the point to where he was pretty much an alcoholic. Right before thanksgiving he "quit" but I have seen him get drunk 2-3 times since then, but since he's "quit" it's been a lot better. But without alcohol, he is having sleeping problems, and when he gets really tired, he almost acts just like he's drunk. So this Christmas eve, he was really tired and right before we left for Christmas eve mass he fell asleep. He was being really irrational before and acting like he was drunk, even though he wasn't. He fell asleep onthe couch right before we left, so we jut left him there. 10 minutes later he calls my mom and is screaming and cussing at her. My mom had taken his keys before we left, and when we got back he was mad because he couldn't find his keys. He kept saying to my mom "Give me my keys". After refusing for an hour, she finally gave them to him. So our Christmas eve was pretty much ruined. Now tonight he and my mom have been arguing since he git home. While I was typing this he left and is probably going to get a beer. What can I do to save their marriage? My mom says she would leave if she could, and I NEVER would imagine that my mom and dad would be getting a divorce. What can I do?

[King]

Hey mate,

Unfortunately for you, there isn't much you can do. This is between your parents. They need to decide whether they love each other or not and whether they want to be together any more or not. If they're happier apart, then you should be happy for each of them. Don't try to save their marriage if they're going to be unhappy.

If you're close enough to your father, try talking to him about his drinking habits. Tell him you really want him to stop for good. And if he doesn't, can't say you didn't try.

All the best.

[Juicy Booty]

What King said, there isn't anything you can do, you can try to bring them together at the most, but that might tear them farther apart. Just remember, this isn't your fault, many kids whose parents are getting divorced take the responsibility among themself and that is when depression sets in. If they are truly unhappy together, then you should want the best for them.

If you and your father ever spend time together, try to find a good time where he is relaxed and calm, and just tell him how this is tearing you apart, and how much you love him and hope he fixes his drinking problem. Often when people have a drinking problem they are missing love and support, just show your dad he is very special to you and maybe something good will happen!

Good luck man!

[Vasily Zaitsev]

Most parents on the verge of a divorce break up. It happens. My parents split up and got remarried, they're happier now, and I really don't care. Stuff like this isn't worth losing sleep over, some of us have more serious problems before so we don't make such a big deal out of it.

I like the calm before the storm, and I hope it lasts a lot longer than it should.

[Xuanson]

The unfortunate thing is you can't do anything right now. You have to wait and see the final result on how things will end. Either they break off and become divorced or they could resolve the problem and be a happy family again.
I'm sorry if anything bad happens to you, emotionally or physically, please know that we're all here for you!

~Xuanson

[DAMINK™]

You know you are completely entitled to your opinions here.
I know its your parents relationship/marriage and ultimately up to them to resolve.
But as a child of this relationship you are entitled to have your say and i recommend you do.
For a few reasons.
1) It might require a different view point for your parents to look at it and evaluate it.... ie your view point.
2) For your own piece of mind i think you should talk to each parent one at a time and tell them exactly how you feel. Because there may come a day when they do divorce and you dont want to feel like you did not try to help.
3) Because if a child of the parents can shine some maturity to the problem then perhaps they both will also.

Look i know its a hard road your going down mate. I am like many here who have a split family.
But dont be afraid to give your parents your view point. Even if it turns into an argument. ( you dont argue let them)

[phreaker]

Hey. It's my first post there, on supportforums.
Well you shouldn't take your parents divorce that bad, i mean it's not big deal. It might be kinda bad at start but it isn't that bad. I have personal experience at this. My parents divorced when i was like 10 y.o yes i was feeling bad at start but now it's way better. I would go deeper but i can't write very well english.

[PuertoRican]

I'm really sorry to hear this. There's not much you can do except for hope for the best.

[MineCrack]

When my mom and dad, were still together they were never truly happy. Right now, your parents are not truly happy. My dad use to threaten to kill my mom when he was drunk, and he use to punch holes into the wall and throw cups around the house. The police came to my house multiple times. Then, they finally split, my life was so much better. Look, when they split your dad might realise what he's done wrong and fix his life. But, does your dad really love you? If he gets drunk like that, he has a problem. True love isn't there, he might be getting bored. I've been through this exact experience (though, my dad was ALWAYS DRUNK!), it is time your parents move on. If I were you, I would suggest your mom to divorce. You don't have to do this though, it's only if your dad is semi abusive, even then you don't have to recommend. Think about it.

Sorry if I have messed up grammar!

[Quizzical]

Unfortunately, there isn't much you can do in this situation, when one is drunk there can be a ton of things going wrong in your dads head. He probably isn't thinking straight, if you dad is abusive and always angry even when sober, then I would suggest getting your mom to get a counselor to sort out this issue with your father. It really does suck having to read this and think of what you go through everyday, all the best.