07-13-2012, 12:32 PM
Note that whatever I say in this thread/post will be 100% true/accurate. Some of it won't make sense since it was originally meant to be specifically on SE.net.
Look. I'm about to talk about my personal life, it will be hard. I never mentioned any of this before to anyone on the internet, no one. I am in the middle of a meltdown, meltdowns suck. I've been talking to GayPal and R on Skype for the past hour or two. I'll cut to the chase shortly.
I moved, approximately three years ago, sophomore year of high school. Even before the move, making friends was excruciatingly difficult. I was socially awkward, it has gotten better over the years. My friends were, and still are, limited. Three years ago, I lost nearly everyone. I live in a rental house with my family for a year, at this time, I'm heavily into gaming. It was my escape, something I loved to do. My current home was being built, we move closer by while it's being built. Not many friends at the rental (we lived next to cornfields -.-), about half an hour from where I used to live.
There was a transition between schools sophomore year, I started to game and like I said, got heavily involved with it from a friend that introduced me to World of Tanks (he isn't really a friend anymore Sad ). I played on my laptop, found a clan. I loved the people there, it was the first time I truly felt accepted. 10 months later, approx. the beginning of Junior year, I'm kicked for retarded reasons. It was one of the hardest, most emotional passages I had to go through, ever. I'm still in touch with one person from there today.
I'm kicked, I'm immature at the time, I want revenge. I wanted to hack them (keep in mind I knew absolutely nothing about hacking at the time). I do a few minutes of research on Google, and find HF. I forget about the hacking scene and enjoy HF for the time being. I explore it for a while, and I found the closed social engineering section. This section intrigued me greatly, I never saw anything like it before. I do my research, mainly on Google, and open up a thread asking what social engineering forums are out there.
I get introduced to SE.net in February. HMSEF around the same time. SE.net turns into my main forum, as I'm kicked from HMSEF for more retarded reasons. I didn't have many close friends there, so it wasn't too too hard for me, roughly a days adjustment. I join SE.net, extremely active, figuring out that it's a very tight, closely-knit community. I love that sort of thing, so I stay around and hang out. I get better, as anyone would, and leads me to about two months ago.
Figuring out that SEing was dangerous really put a toll on me and my family. I didn't know what to think at first, but I try not to think about it much. My parents get involved. This is around the time where Kindles were getting saturated but not too saturated. They get suspicious as fudge. They force me to answer as to how I got them, hell breaks loose. Ever since, my parents have been scared for me and concerned. I tried to ignore it, and continue on. Amazon figures out (that's another story), I'm pretty much forced to get a lawyer. It's done, although I still ignored my parents.
A week ago, the FBI scare. Finally, I break free of the SEing scene. The paranoia was too strong, so I protect myself as much as possible. This brings me to yesterday/Wednesday. I ask Mark Webber to ban my account, for security reasons, as everyone was doing. Unfortunately, it gets deleted. Today - I hear everything is pretty much back to normal although I'm still out of it (I plan to stay out as well). GayPal messages me on Skype early in the morning, saying he has some news for me. More hell breaks loose.
The full message he tells me: "When you first started back your service, I was talking to Illmaculate, and I told him I was gonna buy from you. He said that he thought you were fake. I told him otherwise, and you have vouches etc... After like a week, and still I was talking to him about it, and then he suddenly thought you were a pussy. I asked him why, and he sounded pretty rude about you all of a sudden as if you killed him family... I don't know. I just wanted to let you know that he actually didn't really like you. Sad. I didn't wanna tell you anything... It's pretty obvious now. Even though he did vouch for your service and all..... Please don't fudge me over for me man.. It's not even a big deal."
Bringing me back to a lot earlier in this post, friends have been hard to make for me. When I loose them, it pays a hefty toll on me. R talks to me, tells me he loves me (-.-). It helps, but I tear a bit. Keep in mind, this is during my mental meltdown. I don't know what to think, what friends are real, who to trust, etc. I'll end this with the following: Wounds heal, although scars do not.
Look. I'm about to talk about my personal life, it will be hard. I never mentioned any of this before to anyone on the internet, no one. I am in the middle of a meltdown, meltdowns suck. I've been talking to GayPal and R on Skype for the past hour or two. I'll cut to the chase shortly.
I moved, approximately three years ago, sophomore year of high school. Even before the move, making friends was excruciatingly difficult. I was socially awkward, it has gotten better over the years. My friends were, and still are, limited. Three years ago, I lost nearly everyone. I live in a rental house with my family for a year, at this time, I'm heavily into gaming. It was my escape, something I loved to do. My current home was being built, we move closer by while it's being built. Not many friends at the rental (we lived next to cornfields -.-), about half an hour from where I used to live.
There was a transition between schools sophomore year, I started to game and like I said, got heavily involved with it from a friend that introduced me to World of Tanks (he isn't really a friend anymore Sad ). I played on my laptop, found a clan. I loved the people there, it was the first time I truly felt accepted. 10 months later, approx. the beginning of Junior year, I'm kicked for retarded reasons. It was one of the hardest, most emotional passages I had to go through, ever. I'm still in touch with one person from there today.
I'm kicked, I'm immature at the time, I want revenge. I wanted to hack them (keep in mind I knew absolutely nothing about hacking at the time). I do a few minutes of research on Google, and find HF. I forget about the hacking scene and enjoy HF for the time being. I explore it for a while, and I found the closed social engineering section. This section intrigued me greatly, I never saw anything like it before. I do my research, mainly on Google, and open up a thread asking what social engineering forums are out there.
I get introduced to SE.net in February. HMSEF around the same time. SE.net turns into my main forum, as I'm kicked from HMSEF for more retarded reasons. I didn't have many close friends there, so it wasn't too too hard for me, roughly a days adjustment. I join SE.net, extremely active, figuring out that it's a very tight, closely-knit community. I love that sort of thing, so I stay around and hang out. I get better, as anyone would, and leads me to about two months ago.
Figuring out that SEing was dangerous really put a toll on me and my family. I didn't know what to think at first, but I try not to think about it much. My parents get involved. This is around the time where Kindles were getting saturated but not too saturated. They get suspicious as fudge. They force me to answer as to how I got them, hell breaks loose. Ever since, my parents have been scared for me and concerned. I tried to ignore it, and continue on. Amazon figures out (that's another story), I'm pretty much forced to get a lawyer. It's done, although I still ignored my parents.
A week ago, the FBI scare. Finally, I break free of the SEing scene. The paranoia was too strong, so I protect myself as much as possible. This brings me to yesterday/Wednesday. I ask Mark Webber to ban my account, for security reasons, as everyone was doing. Unfortunately, it gets deleted. Today - I hear everything is pretty much back to normal although I'm still out of it (I plan to stay out as well). GayPal messages me on Skype early in the morning, saying he has some news for me. More hell breaks loose.
The full message he tells me: "When you first started back your service, I was talking to Illmaculate, and I told him I was gonna buy from you. He said that he thought you were fake. I told him otherwise, and you have vouches etc... After like a week, and still I was talking to him about it, and then he suddenly thought you were a pussy. I asked him why, and he sounded pretty rude about you all of a sudden as if you killed him family... I don't know. I just wanted to let you know that he actually didn't really like you. Sad. I didn't wanna tell you anything... It's pretty obvious now. Even though he did vouch for your service and all..... Please don't fudge me over for me man.. It's not even a big deal."
Bringing me back to a lot earlier in this post, friends have been hard to make for me. When I loose them, it pays a hefty toll on me. R talks to me, tells me he loves me (-.-). It helps, but I tear a bit. Keep in mind, this is during my mental meltdown. I don't know what to think, what friends are real, who to trust, etc. I'll end this with the following: Wounds heal, although scars do not.