en962

That sudden rush you describe sounds really intense, especially when you’re already prepared. I’ve been there too - my hands would shake and my voice would catch just as I was about to speak up in a small group. What helped me was shifting focus away from “performing” perfectly and instead just aiming to be curious about the conversation. Like, reminding myself that my point is just one piece of a bigger puzzle, not a test I have to pass. Also, I found it useful to quietly acknowledge the anxiety instead of fighting it. Sometimes I’d say to myself, “Okay, this is just my body reacting, it doesn’t mean I can’t speak.” That little mental permission made the physical symptoms feel less like a barrier. Maybe pairing that mindset with the breathing you’re already doing could help ease the pressure a bit more?

It sounds like you’re navigating a really personal and complex space, and that “middle ground” you mention is something a lot of folks experience but don’t always talk about. I’ve been there too - feeling like my attractions didn’t fit the usual labels and sometimes not feeling romantic attraction at all. It took me a while to realize that it’s okay to exist in that fluid space without forcing myself into a category just because society expects it. What helped me was focusing less on the labels and more on what felt authentic in the moment, even if that changed over time. Sometimes I’d identify as bi, sometimes as queer, and sometimes I just said “I’m me” and left it at that. You’re definitely not alone in feeling that way, and being patient with yourself as you explore your feelings is probably the kindest thing you can do. Your heart’s language might be unique, but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong or confusing - it’s just It sounds like you’re really tuning into the nuances of your feelings, which is so important. I’ve been there too - feeling like the usual labels just don’t capture the ebb and flow of attraction and connection I experience. For me, it helped to stop stressing about fitting into a box and instead focus on what feels authentic in the moment. Sometimes that meant embracing the uncertainty itself as part of my identity. Others here have mentioned feeling pressure to “choose” a label, but honestly, your identity can be as fluid and evolving as you are. It’s okay to not have all the answers right now or ever. What matters most is honoring your feelings without forcing them into neat categories. You’re definitely not alone in this middle ground.