Quote:Excursion Funnels are part of an investigation into how well test subjects can solve problems while travelling through a churning funnel of liquid asbestos. Results so far have been highly informative. They cannot.

Quote:Aerial Faith Plates are part of a larger trust experiment designed to help the enrichment centre discover whether the capacity for trust is effected by being catapulted into space.

Quote:Aperture's second attempt at a diabetic pudding substitute resulted in Repulsion Gel, a much sweeter, slightly less non-toxic form of fibreglass insulation that caused subsequently ingested food items to bounce off the lining of the dieter's distended stomach and out his or her mouth.

For various reasons, this was also pulled from the shelves.

Quote:Designed as a diet aid and marketed under the name 'Propulsion Pudding', this sweet, largely non-toxic form of fibreglass insulation increased the velocity of any food that followed it through the digestive tract, leaving the body no time to absorb calories.

Propulsion Pudding was pulled from the shelves when it was discovered that digestion plays several crucial roles in the eating process, such as breaking food down into small, manageable chunks before it is violently expelled from the human body.