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+---- Thread: Struggling (/showthread.php?tid=28907)
Struggling - Stuckontheground - 11-05-2014
Well...after lots of thought and internal debate I decided to come here to seek support. Finding, and accepting emotion support has always been very difficult for me.
Let me start of by saying that I have a good life, a very good life. I have a husband that is faithful, kind, and who loves me. I have healthy, loving (for the most part) children, I have a stable home, and a comfortable income, I have all the material things I need and most that I want. My life hasn't always been this simple tho, I grew up in a broken family. Parents divorced when I was young, mother remarried only to be divorced again, had little to no relationship with my father. My mother is a good person who just never sought the help she needed, my father (who I now have a very casually relationship with is a good man, not necessarily a good father or grandfather) I have siblings who come with their very own set of drawbacks, addicts, thieves, broken marriages etc. I have always tried to be composed, mature and responsible. I believe that most days I am a good wife and mother. I could certainly use some improvement in the sister and daughter department. I have a group of really good friends, I adore them. But what I don't have is emotional support.
My husband is a very good man, but I can't depend on him for emotional support. He has depression and does't cope well with stress (lord knows he deals with enough at work) so when I come to him feeling overwhelmed, drained, sad, or whatever at the moment I feel, he doesn't know how to deal with it or me. It's not that he doesn't what to, but it he doesn't know how. When I am emotionally weak it seems to drag him down and so I've stopped turning to him. Well I have great friends they brush my comments off. I mean, I can't say I blame them. They have their own set of problems and from the outside looking in my life probably looks perfect. So when I do try and turn to them, they seem shocked that I would ever have a complaint. I can't turn to my family, they can't help me.
So I've been dealing with my emotional issues on my own for a long time. And it just seems to get harder. I spend most nights awake thinking about how I can improve the way I feel or cope. I've started to push the most important people in my life away so they don't see that I'm not the "totally together" person they all think I am. But besides all the really great things in my life I have some really hard things too. My husband works away, a LOT, my kids are high strung, moody, stubborn little people, my friends have always turned to me to solve everything, my siblings (at least the ones I get along with) can't handle their own emotional stress let alone the added weight of mine, I have a huge work load (which I have been seriously neglecting lately) and literally no one to turn to for emotional support. I can't even remember the last time that I felt relieved, or genuinely happy, or not completely overwhelmed by my life. And even writing this is hard, because why should I, who has most things in life be complaining about anything.
Anyways I am going to stop ranting. I just...needed to vent to someone that even if I have a good life I still also have my own set of issues. I know they are minor compared to most.
RE: Struggling - Grin - 11-06-2014
Sorry to hear about it. :-(
RE: Struggling - Eternal. - 11-06-2014
Every human being on this planet has stress and needs somewhere to vent and unload their stress. Even if you have a good life, there is no harm in venting to others. Maybe the stress and the lack of an outlet is what is making you feel so overwhelmed. Do you have any hobbies?
RE: Struggling - Diabolic - 11-07-2014
As Eternal practically said, hobbies are a good outlet for stress. Whether it be gardening, gaming, walking, bike riding or what have you. Something to take your mind of others things isn't always a bad thing.
RE: Struggling - pgcar - 12-20-2014
Hey Stuck,
I'm glad you found the courage to post about these feelings you're having. Just because you have a good life and a loving husband doesn't disqualify you from reaching out for emotional support. Everyone needs to feel heard and supported, even the lucky among us who are relatively "put together." I can understand your reluctance to burden other people with your emotions, but as someone who often feels the same way, I've been surprised over time to discover that asking other people for help can actually be a tremendous gift because it makes them feel valued too.
Have you heard about this iPhone app called Empath? It lets you share your feelings anonymously in your own private emotional journal, but your posts also go into an anonymous feed where others can empathize and provide support. Thought you might find it helpful.
Anyways, hang in there. I hope you're able to find the support you need one way or the other. In the meantime, don't be so hard on yourself for seeking it!