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+---- Thread: I could really use some help (/showthread.php?tid=27821)
I could really use some help - Mendrell - 04-05-2013
For three years I have been going through life not thinking about being in a relationship. Okay that is not accurate I thought about being in a relationship there was just was not a single girl i knew that I liked enough to really get into a serious relationship with. So finally i meet this girl and i am blown away, she is perfect, she is cute, smart, funny, independent, kind, caring, she is always there to help people in their time of need, she does not discriminate or judge, she is nerd like me and love lord of the rings and games, hell she has a tattoo on her back in elvish, everyone i know loves her, if something were to happen to her she would have an entire army of people willing to help.. For the first time in a long time; heck i would be willing to say for the first time ever i finally had found someone that i truly wanted to be in a relationship, someone i could see spending my life with, someone who i was willing to go to the ends of the earth and bring back the sands of time from Davy Jones' locker for.
So now there is this perfect girl in my life and you know what, it even seems like I might have a chance, so I sit down to have lunch with her and talk one day and in walks this Gothic, punk rocker with oily hair and acne and a Goatee that really just does not look right on his face he could probably pull off a beard but not a Goatee. So in walks this guy and up jumps the girl she goes running over to him and jumps into his arms and gives him a big kiss. Immediately the words "Why are the good ones always taken" run through my mind. So yes this perfect girl has a boyfriend.I go on to find out that they have been dating basicly a year with one little month long hiccup where she breaks up with him to try out a relationship with another guy but all that does is strengthen the way they feel for each other when they get back together. After talking to them for a while i find out that despite his appearance the boyfriend is actually a cool guy i mean i was not going to shun him just because i don't like his choice in clothing and i actually end up kinda being friends with this guy cool right... No that just makes it even more difficult now.
Now I really want to be friends with this girl she is amazing after all. The only problem is every time i see them together my muscles start aching and jaw clenches, every time i see her crawl into his arms my stomach cringes, every time they kiss i want to break things. I wish that my feelings would just go away. I thought i could just stop hanging out with her but i cant i am compelled to hang out with them because one they hang out with my other friends now and two i really don't want to be away from her.
So after this went on for awhile i come to the conclusion that i need to talk to her about it, but, i can't bring myself to really spill it all like i am now i only manage to express that i may or may not dislike the way her and her boy friend act around me because i may or may not have feelings for her above and beyond the likes of friendship, and after we have the "How much do you care about me conversation" i am positive without a shadow of a doubt, mostly because she practically said it, that if she did not have a boyfriend there would have been no hesitation and we would be in a relationship.
So what should i do every time i see them together i die a little inside and believe me i have tried just telling my self to get over it so many times i am starting to get mad at myself. I really can't help my feelings and if there was a way to change them i would. So i feel like i have come down to two choices. 1. Make her choose either me or him in which case she would probably choose him and i would make her feel like supper poop and i would have to go away. It would hurt at first but sooner or later i would get over it and i would be able to move on... Right? Anyway, 2. I can do absolutely nothing and grin and bear it and just hope that someday she realizes that a life with me would be far better than the life with that want to be Gothic punk rocker. I am really hesitant to actually do something about it because in all honesty i am scared that it might be just infatuation and if i were t do something and ruin a perfectly good couple because i thought a girl was cute i would hate myself for it. According to my friend i really like her they all say that the way i talk about her is amazing and what not. You have to understand most of my friends are girls i have very few friends that are guys and the ones i do have i don't really talk to. So all my friends are all like i wish a guy would talk about me like that so i don't know.
So I guess i want you opinion on two things. One whether or not i really like this girl or is it just infatuation and two what should i do?