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+---- Thread: Cursed? (/showthread.php?tid=27622)
Cursed? - ShatteredIdeal - 01-30-2013
I'd love to introduce myself, but I don't have an infinite supply of time.
It seems I'm the laughing-stock of the universe. I've been granted so many blessings and given so many things that I don't know the meaning of adversity. My loved ones have sacrificed much and paid more to grant me a childhood free from want and are now disappointed that I haven't planned a future to do the same. By the time the real world comes knocking (it's only a couple years, or less, away), I won't be prepared for hardship because I haven't experienced one bit of it. I won't be a man so much as a really old boy, unequipped for struggle.
Still I've suffered, just not in a tangible way. School is the bane of my existence, an illogical institution that has warranted my ire. The schoolwork is pointless and I feel it will do little to prepare me for whatever horrors await me in my future. I can think of several good reasons we'd all be better off without it, but I haven't the time to list them.
My hatred of school (and idea that a better world wouldn't have it) started me on the path to becoming an idealist. I thought of plans to make the world a better place, but in coming up with them I've only served to hurt those close to me.
My declining grades, poor work ethic, and constant talk of rebellion has disappointed and hurt my parents. Whatever time I can spend with my friends I always ruin by encouraging them to embrace my ideals (and I don't do it on purpose). My best friend is convinced that I'm awesome despite my numerous flaws, and has agreed wholeheartedly with what I've said, but I know that I cannot impress her forever and fear she will be heartbroken when she realizes the full extent of my incompetence.
I've let everyone I know down in one way or another. I may be as sharp as a sword, but swords only wound. Evidence indicates that I do little to help others and everything to hurt them. I can't even enjoy it because I'm not sadistic, and it seems I'm hurting myself most. Despite all of my blessings, my worst curse is my lack of true suffering.
Another reason I won't introduce myself is that I might disappoint whomever you all might be. I just want to run away and hide somewhere that I can't harm anyone...but I can't escape myself, so I'd settle for only being able to inflict mental pain upon myself to spare others.
My sloppy writing style is probably causing people some pain. Sorry.
RE: Cursed? - Pow3r - 01-31-2013
Cursed? No I don't believe so. Find something constructive that matters to you and work your ass off until you achieve what you set out to do, then repeat it for other things. Hard work and self belief are a powerful combination. Good Luck.
RE: Cursed? - System Meltdown - 02-14-2013
You sound really down. Try to make some new friends and lift your head up.
Sounds like you should start being more confident in yourself too.