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+---- Thread: 2 problems (/showthread.php?tid=25852)
2 problems - Guest - 04-02-2012
Ok I'm probably gonna accidentally miss a lot of things out but I've got so much stuff on my mind right now...
Hi so I'm 16 and I am from England.
So my first problem is being gay/bi w.e...
I don't know what I am but I don't want to be gay or bi. It makes my life so awkward. It all started when a boy who was like 5 years older than me tricked me when I was younger to play truth or dare with him where he got me to touch his penis ect. I was only like 8 or something, I can't remember.
That's a small sum up to why I think I am gay^
I've done a lot of gay stuff with old friends which I think made me more gay.
I don't even know what I am, I think I am gay but I am not entirely sure. I love girls, just not sexually. I had this girlfriend 2 years ago who I was going out with for 2 years. She dumped me for another boy and left me. I loved her so much, I still love her today but we don't speak. She was like a best friend to me, I loved her. We didn't do anything sexual throughout them whole times so I presume that's why she dumped me.
I loved her. I used to fap to gay porn whilst going out with her but I still hanged around with her all the time.
I'm sexually attracted to boys, but emotionally attracted to women. I think I've been so long without a proper girlfriend that I love, I have turned to some sort of 'forgettable state' where I completely do not like women anymore (or because I've not had a girlfriend in a while and I am automatically thinking this?)
I can't just go out and get a girlfriend. I live in the countryside and I don't have much contacts to go out. Ever since this girl introduced me to Habbo, I've been an online person ever since. I have no hobbies or interests anymore.
The only thing that is holding me back from suicide is my family.
I don't want to be gay however it's unstoppable. I can never change.
Problem 2:
I've been fine with being bi/gay and in denial. I've been doing it for a while until last week.
I met this guy 1 week ago and he has the same problems as me and I love his personality and everything. The problem is that I've technically fallen in a state where I 'love him'.
He turned 14 a day ago and it's not that sort of 'love' where I want to have any sexual interaction with him. It's like a possessive state. I want to know everything about him and I always stay up till late just so I can speak with him. I'm from England and he's from America. He gets home from school at like 10PM my time so I only get to speak to him for a couple of hours but when we do, we always have big deep conversations.
He's a Christian and he keeps telling me stuff and how he has like mood swings where one minute he loves being bi, but then a minute later he's all disgraced over it and gets all angry and in denial. It's upsetting.
We're really really close but a couple of things annoy me. He's a shy person which is quite annoying as he's shy to speak to me on microphone when. (We met on a gaming community which requires microphone and stuff)
He's very suspicious though. He has a Facebook with like 15 friends and he has perfect pictures as in he's too good looking to be playing games. The way he describes his life does not meet his pictures which is concerning. He says he doesn't have Skype or an app phone or anything and claims a lot of stuff which is suspicious. Other stuff that concerns me is that whenever he has to go, I ask him where he has to go and he says stuff like "somewhere" and I don't really mind if he doesn't tell me but it's a bit weird.
I have an obsession with knowing everything about him. We're really close friends which probably makes me an 'obsessive friend'. I want to stop it as it's ruining me in real life.
Ever since I met him, I've developed harsh migraines and I'm always feeling sick. I get really jealous of him talking to other people too. I really don't want to be like this but I can't stop it. I don;'t want to be going out of my way to speak to him.
I've missed a lot of stuff out but yeah... Does anyone have any tips on how to sort my problems out? It's literally killing me.
RE: 2 problems - roody poo - 04-04-2012
1. Live life. Do what makes you happy.
2. You don't need to be accepted by society, just yourself.
3. Good luck.
RE: 2 problems - BreShiE - 04-05-2012
First of all, it seems to me as you are a homosexual. You may not like to here it but the fact that you're sexually attracted to men, but only emotionally attracted to women suggests this for me. You here it all the time where a women's best friend is a gay friend, this could possibly be partly responsible. To be honest, I think you need to sit down in a dark room, close your eyes and have a PROPER deep thought about this situation, figure out what you truly think you are. Forget the fact that you don't want to be homosexual just think about what you are, not what you want to be. If the end result comes as you are homosexual, it's nothing to worry about. I actually heard on TV/News the other day that the popularity of homosexuals is growing more and more every year, it's not how it was 50 years back. Being a Homosexual is far more excepted in today's world then it ever has been, sure there's still that arrogant few who can't grasp the fact that there's people like this and will tease you for it, but so what?
I actually have a friend who's extremely gay, I mean he'd shout it from the room tops if he could. He's extremely open about his sexuality and me and him joke around all the time, he constantly asks me for pictures if you get what I mean but I know he's only joking so we just laugh about it. It's quite weird when he talks abut his past relationships though, he goes into excruciating detail, lol. What I'm trying to say is just because you here people slagging off "gays" doesn't mean that they don't except it. I joke around calling him a "jerk" etc and he doesn't care, because he knows I'm joking. Let me know if you wish to talk further, even if off-site.
For your second issue, I've also had a friend who's like that. He's extremely shy and doesn't open up to people. (the complete opposite of the guy I mentioned above). He always used to bottle things up, and only ever talked to me via IM clients like MSN and AIM, but after a while we got talking and he ended up telling me pretty much everything about his life, I'm sure he kept a few things secret, but there has to be a reason for that. So with your friend, just give it time. Don't pressure him into opening up to you as that could seal him off all together, instead just be there for him when he needs you, and you'll start to realize him opening up gradually, it's a trust thing. Some people see online "friends" as still "strangers" even if just subconsciously, it's a mind thing. You have to earn their trust, and that takes time. The fact that he's already shown you pictures of himself, suggests to me you're already on the right track.
RE: 2 problems - Evaluation - 04-05-2012
good luck with your problems pm me and we can tlak