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+---- Thread: I don't know how I should feel... (/showthread.php?tid=24964)
I don't know how I should feel... - Slick_ - 02-05-2012
My dad was in a really bad car crash about 3 weeks ago. He had been going through a bad alcohol problem, and I kept telling him something like this was going to happen. But he kept on drinking, and one night he crashed and was 3 times over the legal limit (which is extremely drunk). The only day I've been to the hospital is the day after the crash. Since then he's been delusional because of the pain meds, but this week they lowered down the pain med amount, and he's almost back to normal.
I have just been going through life like nothing has happened. I try not to think about him, and I haven't worried at all. But I feel like I'm being too harsh. Today he called to speak to me for the first time since the crash. He said "Hey bud" and I said "Hey" and then it was just silence. I had nothing to say to him, nothing that I wanted to talk about, because I just didn't want to talk to him. I feel bad about it, but I don't know how I should feel.
Also, my mom wants me to go to the hospital tomorrow, but I don't want to go. I don't want to see him. I'm just tired of him ruining everything. He ruined our Christmas AND New Years because ge was drunk and being a complete butthead.
RE: I don't know how I should feel... - Denny Crane - 02-05-2012
He sounds like a fudge whit, its his fault, forgive him, but make him feel guilty enough so he wont fudge you and your family over like this again.
RE: I don't know how I should feel... - Maku - 02-05-2012
Have you ever thought maybe if you told him what you just told us, it would impact him in some way? Try not to avoid it and dive head-first into the problem. Confront him about it and have a serious talk with him.
Hope everything works out, I'm here if you need me.
RE: I don't know how I should feel... - AceInfinity - 02-05-2012
Okay, before you mentally degrade him to be a bad person, realize a few things though.
1) Drinking can be a very serious and uncontrollable issue for some people
2) He probably didn't want to crash on purpose, that's just a result of his drinking problem
You guys need to realize that he probably still cares for his family, but when you're drinking you can probably imagine that he can't put things into perspective to word things out the way that you want to hear them.
Help him with his drinking problem. If you were in his shoes, with an uncontrollable drinking problem, and you got into a crash, but you still loved your family, would you not feel guilt? upset? Perhaps that you want to show them that you still care, but don't know how to put it into words because you may feel that there's no excuse for drinking if you have such a problem?
Now that he's in the hospital, I can imagine he's trying to think things out, and maybe he's starting to piece things together finally, since they won't allow him to have alchohol there. That time in the hospital would have allowed him lots of time to think about his situation, and i'm sure the reason he phoned you is because he cares.
Based on what i've told you, i'm sure you can figure out how you should feel on your own, nobody in this thread can tell you how you are supposed to feel.
RE: I don't know how I should feel... - Denny Crane - 02-05-2012
Ace has a better point. Its true its a serious problem but he should know what this has done to his family.
RE: I don't know how I should feel... - lover and fighter - 02-09-2012
I agree, this might be a good time for the whole family to confront him and get him help if his drinking is truly a problem and disrupting the family. You definitely have a right to feel mad and hurt, but balance in some of what AceInfinity was saying too. Understand that he has emotional issues he's dealing with and try to help him through.