+- Support Forums (https://www.supportforums.net)
+-- Forum: Categories (https://www.supportforums.net/forumdisplay.php?fid=87)
+--- Forum: Life Support (https://www.supportforums.net/forumdisplay.php?fid=12)
+---- Forum: Emotional Support (https://www.supportforums.net/forumdisplay.php?fid=50)
+---- Thread: I've Screwed Up...I need help... (/showthread.php?tid=24588)
Pages:
1
2
I've Screwed Up...I need help... - Vital Signs - 01-15-2012
I have no idea what to do. I've screwed up bigtime. I need some serious replies to this, I definitely need help.
I'm 18 years old, male. To explain this, there are two girls. We'll call them Amber and Alexis. So about two years ago, I got with Amber. We were together for a few weeks, mainly off and on. Never had too great of a relationship. About a year and a half ago, I met Alexis. We got together and now I've been with her for over a year. We do argue/fight but we've had a solid relationship.
My religion doesn't allow any sexual activity before marriage. I don't really want to delve too far into that as it's a bit off topic. But after me and Alexis were together for three months, we ended up having sex. After that, we stopped and we haven't had sex again for the rest of the year and still going.
Over the past two months, Amber has been talking to me a lot. It started out saying she wanted to be my friend and we texted each other quite a bit about all sorts of things. but it was never more than being friends. She would even talk to me about the guys she liked. But just in the past week, she's started to make her move. Alexis has been getting mad by what Amber is doing..she's been giving me tons of attention and flirting with me. I told Alexis it was harmless and she was just being my friend.
To get to the point, last night me and Amber were texting each other and she kept talking about how she wanted to hang out. It was late at night and I wasn't thinking properly, and she seduced me and ended up sending several pics of her boobs and herself naked. I kept it going, I'm not blaming just her. This happened again today. She sent me a few more pics and I ended up sending a pic or two of my abs and myself without a shirt on. Nothing nude though.
I was with my girlfriend Alexis today, and she could notice something was wrong. I've been extremely bothered by this and I don't know what to do. It was all a huge mistake. I love Alexis and I can't loose her. But if I tell her I know I'll have a hard time keeping her at all..she's very sensitive about this type of thing and her two previous boyfriends cheated on her.
Amber wants to have sex with me. And hypothetically speaking, it could be possible that she is only 16. If she was, which she probably isn't, could I get in trouble for having those pics? I'm sorry but I really need to know. Also, if she was 16, wouldn't that be considered statutory rape if I did?
I don't want to..but I feel like I've gone too far already. I can't loose Alexis but I don't want Amber to tell her what has happened...please help. I need any advice you have. Sorry this was so long.
RE: I've Screwed Up...I need help... - Shattering - - 01-15-2012
First of all, how old are you? If She's 16, and your like 17, there is no problem. If your over 18, and you have pictures of here, and she send them voluntary, there is also no problem I think..
You Love Alexis, you don't wan't Amber. Tell Alexis what happened, don't lie. She will understand.
And stop with this bullshit with Amber.
RE: I've Screwed Up...I need help... - BreShiE - 01-15-2012
Hello Vital Signs,
First of all, disregard what Shattering said as he's wrong.
I understand what you're going through, relationships are a tough and an agonising thing at times, from what you've told me at the moment, that isn't too bad. What I believe you should do, is sit down and talk to 'Alexis' about this, tell her that you wasn't in the right state of mind at the time and 'Amber' has been sending you pictures, then ease on to tell her that you sent, two, non-nude pictures. This may seem like a silly thing to do, but trust me, it's far better for a girl to hear it from you then to hear it from someone else, because then she may end up not trusting you! Make sure you stress how important she is to you, and reassure her that you would never do anything with 'Amber' as you love 'Alexis' too much. Things might get a little rocky for a bit, but in the long term it will be beneficial for your relationship as she may end up thinking "This guy is actually honest with me, I do trust him".
As for the age of having sex with 'Amber', you shouldn't even be thinking about that for two reasons. One - You're still with Alexis. Two - Your religion. (I personally think a person shouldn't be tied down to what they believe in though).
Please tell me what country you're from and I will tell you if it's legal or not though. If you're in the US make sure to state your state too.
I hope I helped, if you need anything else, just reply to this and I will get back to you A.S.A.P.
~BreShiE
RE: I've Screwed Up...I need help... - Shattering - - 01-15-2012
(01-15-2012, 02:33 AM)BreShiE Wrote: Hello Vital Signs,
First of all, disregard what Shattering said as he's wrong.
I understand what you're going through, relationships are a tough and an agonising thing at times, from what you've told me at the moment, that isn't too bad. What I believe you should do, is sit down and talk to 'Alexis' about this, tell her that you wasn't in the right state of mind at the time and 'Amber' has been sending you pictures, then ease on to tell her that you sent, two, non-nude pictures. This may seem like a silly thing to do, but trust me, it's far better for a girl to hear it from you then to hear it from someone else, because then she may end up not trusting you! Make sure you stress how important she is to you, and reassure her that you would never do anything with 'Amber' as you love 'Alexis' too much. Things might get a little rocky for a bit, but in the long term it will be beneficial for your relationship as she may end up thinking "This guy is actually honest with me, I do trust him".
As for the age of having sex with 'Amber', you shouldn't even be thinking about that for two reasons. One - You're still with Alexis. Two - Your religion. (I personally think a person shouldn't be tied down to what they believe in though).
Please tell me what country you're from and I will tell you if it's legal or not though. If you're in the US make sure to state your state too.
I hope I helped, if you need anything else, just reply to this and I will get back to you A.S.A.P.
~BreShiE
That's about the same thing I said I think. Talking to Alexis, and quitting with Amber. Maybe not in the right way.
but yeah, listen to BreShiE, that's for sure.
RE: I've Screwed Up...I need help... - AceInfinity - 01-15-2012
Quote:Two - Your religion
Who says religion has to think for us? I am personally against that, unless you are a really hardcore believer in your religion and you really believe that you did something wrong, then maybe. But as far as religion and not being able to do something, it's more out of fear that someone in your family for instance eventually finds out and you get punished for that. Nothing to do with the religion, but the end result.
Also, you can't say someone is wrong, until you can prove it, and if it's opinion, nobody is wrong because you can't disprove someone else's opinion. Everyone is entitled to what they think and believe in. Some people think killing others isn't that bad. I'm not going to say it is, but who's to say that it's really that bad, other than getting jail time for it? I'm sure back in the caveman days people didn't have government to enforce any punishment back then other than payback. They survived through that period in time, and now we're bound to rules that are made without our consent that we have to abide by whether we like them or not because it's evolved the idea that everyone needs rules. We need a track to stay on and no one can get out or go off course.
As for the OP; it depends on your region for the laws that might conflict with what you did. I know here where I live in Canada, anything that coincides with ages from people under and 18 or above is bad.
Here's my opinion though. People are beginning to become to accustomed to having other people and communities, laws, ideas, and even technology think for us. It's like we're slowly using the need to use our brain to create our own ideas and think for ourselves. Why is that? It's not going to lead us in a good direction that's for sure. We're slowly becoming like the higher officials puppets in nature. Whatever they tell us, and even through the media, we're forced to believe. Can't go out and make sure for ourselves, and no time to double check or verify anything, it's just much simpler to allow them to create our thoughts.
RE: I've Screwed Up...I need help... - Crystal - 01-15-2012
(01-15-2012, 02:20 AM)Shattering - Wrote: First of all, how old are you? If She's 16, and your like 17, there is no problem. If your over 18, and you have pictures of here, and she send them voluntary, there is also no problem I think..
You Love Alexis, you don't wan't Amber. Tell Alexis what happened, don't lie. She will understand.
And stop with this bullshit with Amber.
I totally agree with this guy and trust me buddy but dont lie to your g/f... Keep her in confidence if you love her and tell her the truth she will understand...
Just have some faith in your g/f and god..
and just maintain distance with amber now onwards...
RE: I've Screwed Up...I need help... - Graphic™ - 01-15-2012
i suggest you explain the problem to here she won't get angry it come's once in an while if you think you are ready to have sexual intercourse then so be it i know you think it's bad and your going to go hell but we really don't god wrote something in his book you never know you might never have sex or this is your only chance go with your heart a couple who have a sexual intercourse are solid between each other's heart's there might be up's and down in your relationship but you got to fight through it.
RE: I've Screwed Up...I need help... - Gaijin - 01-15-2012
I'll skip pics and religion, as IMO these are irrelevant for your situation, your Problem is guilt...
Having a Female (best) friend is for most GF's a hard thing to handle, because Friendly-relationships go deeper then Love, having a Female friend which you also had history with is even far more harder for them to handle, in many cases both of them will get jealous for various reasons over one another, and at one point will force you to choose, at that moment you will lose both of them...
In order to have a healthy relationship with your Girlfriend and your female friends, the only step to take is to make them to friends. You Girlfriend needs to be a same-type of friend to your other female friends as you are to them, and this may be a hard thing to get done...
However, I need to talk about pics, no matter what the situation is and what it means, having pics of girls you know which are not your GF, will result in your GF getting mad, probably thinking you cheat on her..
I can only tell you delte the pics and every new one you get too, first of all you don't have a need for these pics, second you don't have a need for this pics and third, it can be taken as "I stil hang onto her..."
Remove the pics, tell your girl firend that you two are having a "healthy" friend relationship AND that you would like them 2 to become friends too...
RE: I've Screwed Up...I need help... - AceInfinity - 01-15-2012
(01-15-2012, 03:29 PM)Gaijin Wrote: I'll skip pics and religion, as IMO these are irrelevant for your situation, your Problem is guilt...
I skipped the rest of your post, but this was exactly my point yes
lolI would agree with you here most probably.
RE: I've Screwed Up...I need help... - Vital Signs - 01-15-2012
I am in Idaho, USA. And what if I am 18 and she is 16? Could I get in trouble for the pics, if that were the case?