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+---- Thread: he's too nice. (/showthread.php?tid=21970)
he's too nice. - marieantoinette - 09-05-2011
too nice.
every guy i've ever been with doesn't text me back, and they wait weeks to call, and they always aren't actually single, and they never tell me how they feel or if they feel.
but he texts me.
constantly.
tells me he wants me.
tells me he wants to make me happy.
and it's.. smothering.
he scares me.
he's emotional, and happy, and stable, and wants me.
and it's too scary to deal with.
i don't know how to do this.
i don't know how to have a real happy loving cute relationship where you talk and you're happy and he listens.
how do people do this?
RE: he's too nice. - +devilpsn - 09-05-2011
First of all, are you women? this means you will get 1 charming Award here... + no need to fear just act cool and simple ;)
RE: he's too nice. - marieantoinette - 09-05-2011
I am definitely a chick.
Why does this forum require you to use 30 words?
That's stupid.
RE: he's too nice. - AceInfinity - 09-05-2011
That kind of thing is called stalking, and it's usually seen with cases of abuse from unstable people. They tend to try too hard to keep you, because they are afraid of loosing you. Don't assume anything, talk with the guy about it. It will do much better for you than to hear something from a member on this forum that may not be true.
I could tell you that he's gay, and say you believe that? Now without even talking to him, you've assumed something about the guy that could be true, but might not be, and if it's not true, then it doesn't do any good now does it? lol
You could even assume that he just wants you for the sex. But you still need to talk to him about it. Tell him you need your space, that's something everyone should understand to some extent. People need some time to themselves.
Communication.
You talk to him about how you feel, best advice you'll get, I can promise you that. If you want something to work, the only way things can change is if you both recognize where each other is coming from, and work to make change.
Good luck
(09-05-2011, 02:27 AM)๖ۣۜDevilpsn Wrote: First of all, are you women? this means you will get 1 charming Award here... + no need to fear just act cool and simple ;)
I don't think this was helpful to her original post in any way at all though, I think the first concern for her is the issue with the guy and her
RE: he's too nice. - marieantoinette - 09-05-2011
It's definitely not stalking.
He's just.. normal.
And I'm definitely not.
And being called charming is actually helpful when it makes my day a tiny bit better.
I push people away.
And he wants in because he doesn't realize it.
Normal people are scary.
RE: he's too nice. - AceInfinity - 09-05-2011
(09-05-2011, 02:51 AM)marieantoinette Wrote: It's definitely not stalking.
He's just.. normal.
And I'm definitely not.
And being called charming is actually helpful when it makes my day a tiny bit better.
I push people away.
And he wants in because he doesn't realize it.
Normal people are scary.
I thought it might be considered stalking because if he texts you constantly it's probably also to see what you're up to. You're not normal though? lol nobody is normal trust me
Being unique is a good thing.He didn't call you charming though (sorry), what he meant is that you get an award for proving that you're a female member on the forum. The admin added it as an extra and it gets displayed on your profile.
Spoiler (Click to View)
You push people away how though?
RE: he's too nice. - marieantoinette - 09-05-2011
(09-05-2011, 02:56 AM)Ace Wrote: I thought it might be considered stalking because if he texts you constantly it's probably also to see what you're up to. You're not normal though? lol nobody is normal trust me
He didn't call you charming though (sorry), what he meant is that you get an award for proving that you're a female member on the forum. The admin added it as an extra and it gets displayed on your profile.
Spoiler (Click to View)
You push people away how though?
Guys treat me like crap. So I assume they all will. I build up walls that none of them bother to even see. I'm broken in a lot of ways, and though he says he wants to make me happy, I don't think he realizes what he's getting into. God, I sound insane.
RE: he's too nice. - AceInfinity - 09-05-2011
You're not insane, it's perfectly normal for someone to block something out like that. It's a self reaction to prevent yourself from getting hurt from other guys again. The hardest part is if you decide to open up your walls and let a guy past them, only to find out that he's just like the rest I would assume. I hope that doesn't happen to you. You need to be able to find signs that prove that you finally found a good guy, but i'm not sure how you could do that. Sometimes it takes a risk, just make sure that you have some reason to trust the guy your with so he doesn't take advantage of your emotions.
I've been hurt by a few women of my past before lol, sucks... You just have to stay strong and keep looking for someone that's right for you if a relationship is what you want.
RE: he's too nice. - BreShiE - 09-05-2011
(09-05-2011, 03:14 AM)marieantoinette Wrote: Guys treat me like crap. So I assume they all will. I build up walls that none of them bother to even see. I'm broken in a lot of ways, and though he says he wants to make me happy, I don't think he realizes what he's getting into. God, I sound insane.
Hey marieantoinette,
To me, you don't sound insane at all, in fact you're making perfect sense. I myself have had my fair few bad relationships and it does mess with your mind a lot, so I see what you're saying.
If this guy is as nice as you say he is, then talk to him. Explain to him how you feel, tell him that you've had bad relationships in the past and it's scaring you to get into another, surely he'll understand.
As I said above, I've had my fair share of bad relationships, and you can't let them get to you, just try and push it to the back of your mind and carry on in your stride, I know this'll be hard, but you'll get through it, trust me.
I hope I helped you, even if it's just a little bit.
RE: he's too nice. - CHEESEWIZKILLA76 - 09-08-2011
See how deep he really is, and if he is right for you.
He could just be using you.