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+---- Thread: Confused...what should I do? (/showthread.php?tid=19408)
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Confused...what should I do? - libra92 - 06-08-2011
When I was six I was abused by my cousin, he didn't rape me because he didn't take away my virginity, he just touched me and kissed me everywhere. Since then I'm conflicted with many feelings. At first I didn't understand why he did what he was doing, I was just six; when I was tweleve I realized what he had done to me. Immediately I felt guilty because at the time I didn't do anything to stop him and he did the same many times, by the way he was 16 so I saw him as a grown up and I trusted him. Now I regret it, I wish I could go back and stop him instead of staying still just wondering what was going on. When I told my parents they supported me, but lately when I talk about it whit my mom she tells me that I should forget it already and that it was normal that I guy of his age wanted to explore in that area, that I'm maybe making too much of a big deal out of it. I don't have a boyfriend, in fact I haven't been able to have any boyfriends because I feel awkward with guys around me, I can't help it. I don't hate my cousin and don't wish him any bad thing, but I don't I wanna see him, I know I wouldn't stand it. I feel guilty, alone and I'm wondering if my mom is right and I'm making a drama out something that is not that bad. I cry alone at night and can't help feel like I'm dirty or something.
RE: Confused...what should I do? - xMan - 06-08-2011
I went through something similar, and i'm guessing your a girl by the fact you said boyfriend? if not, then your Homosexual? i'm not sure, so the best i can say is you probably have some sort of PSD or Post Dramatic Stress.
RE: Confused...what should I do? - Omniscient - 06-08-2011
He obviously acted incorrectly but please know that teen boys are a real danger simply because of hormones. Have you thought about confronting him about it?
RE: Confused...what should I do? - libra92 - 06-08-2011
I'm a girl
RE: Confused...what should I do? - Green Bay - 06-08-2011
(06-08-2011, 11:45 AM)Omniscient Wrote: He obviously acted incorrectly but please know that teen boys are a real danger simply because of hormones. Have you thought about confronting him about it?
I agree with Omni on this one. I don't know though, if you should just forgot, I would try to talk to either a therapist, or the cousin who did this to you.
RE: Confused...what should I do? - xMan - 06-08-2011
(06-08-2011, 11:45 AM)Omniscient Wrote: He obviously acted incorrectly but please know that teen boys are a real danger simply because of hormones. Have you thought about confronting him about it?Yeah, maybe confronting him about it would help you?
also, don't blame yourself for something that someone did to you when you were younger.
As far as your parents saying that your making to much drama out of it, in my opinion that couldn't be farther from the truth.
For the boyfriend aspect of it, i would, honestly its harder said than done however, block it out, block out what happened to you when you were younger, not the best thing to do but it's an option, if you don't want to do that see a therapist of some sort, either at school or out side of school.
RE: Confused...what should I do? - Green Bay - 06-08-2011
(06-08-2011, 11:55 AM)xMan Wrote: Yeah, maybe confronting him about it would help you?I think that therapy might me best, because it might help her move on or help her understand her trouble with relationships now.
also, don't blame yourself for something that someone did to you when you were younger.
As far as your parents saying that your making to much drama out of it, in my opinion that couldn't be farther from the truth.
For the boyfriend aspect of it, i would, honestly its harder said than done however, block it out, block out what happened to you when you were younger, not the best thing to do but it's an option, if you don't want to do that see a therapist of some sort, either at school or out side of school.
RE: Confused...what should I do? - xMan - 06-08-2011
(06-08-2011, 11:56 AM)Green Bay Wrote: I think that therapy might me best, because it might help her move on or help her understand her trouble with relationships now.yeah. 100% true and completely agree with that.
Well i wish you the best of luck with over coming this! I'm sure you can do it ;)
RE: Confused...what should I do? - Green Bay - 06-08-2011
Agreed, good luck OP, I hope you find help wherever it may lay.
RE: Confused...what should I do? - BlackChaos - 06-08-2011
First off, its very rare that the victim isn't manhandled during such acts. So that is a point to be noted. In such cases, confrontation is not the best option.
Legal action is also not an option because, the deed was done several years ago. Any conclusive proof will have been erased by now.
I would suggest talking to someone you trust like a friend or a counselor. That is the best option to help you deal with the situation. In my honest opinion, your mother is not doing the right thing by disregarding your issue and elevating your stress on the matter.
Sadly, I know how it feels when someone gets mistreated like this. I would hate to see you not rise to your potential and overcome it.
If you ever need any help, you are most welcome to PM me here anytime.
Best of luck