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+---- Thread: Low Confidence (/showthread.php?tid=18326)
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Low Confidence - Guest - 04-27-2011
Hey guys, i have really low confidence;
When I Was At School
I didnt have many friends, i used to hang around with a group of say...7 people, Give or take a few. I didnt really have much confidence then, i never really spoke to people, but i took part in class, sometimes.
One day, i was walking home from school, I was almost at my house, and i had to go down a street, Anyway, i never used to have a problem with this, but on that day i didnt feel right; something felt wrong. I looked behind me and i saw a man, i dismissed it; it wasnt exactly unusual, Anyway, the guy was around about 30-50 meters away from me. But, as soon as i crossed the road (which took no more than 3 seconds) The same guy was right behind me.
This kinda scared me, i was only 12 (i think). At this point, i had to go through an alleyway, well that was enough for me, i screamed and legged it, the guy didnt follow.
The day after i was ok, i got home and all was good. but then i dont know why, but i was beginning to get scared walking home, and it got worse and worse and worse. It got so bad that i had to go to my grandparents hose every day (they lived a lot closer to school than my house.). I hadnt walked home on my own in around 1-2 years.
Not long after; I used to cover my face, I grew my hair very long so i could hide behind it, nobody saw what i looked like for easily over a year.
After the 6 weeks holidays, i had a haircut, it was a huge step for me. But, my confidence was still crap. At this point i only used to hang around with one of my friends.
Now, i left school 1 year before i was supposed to, because i hated it.
Present Day[/align]
On Xbox, i cant even speak to people i dont know; because thats how low my confidence is...I can speak to my friends fine, But if i ws to break contact with them for 1month+ i would find it very difficult to speak to them again.
So, does anyone have any tips on confidence? Thans
TL;DR: I Was followed home, now i have very low confidence, Do you have any tips?
RE: Low Confidence - BlackOperations - 04-27-2011
belive in your self... No one can help you build your confidence exept yourself... Sometime you gota go like f@ck what people think and do what you wanan do..
RE: Low Confidence - RDCA - 04-27-2011
(04-27-2011, 12:49 PM)BlackOperations Wrote: belive in your self... No one can help you build your confidence exept yourself... Sometime you gota go like f@ck what people think and do what you wanan do..I disagree, being with friends and especially girls( yes in a relationship, not just friends) can help bring up somebody's confidence. But yea don't fear people or their idea's, no one is better than you and you are better then no one.
RE: Low Confidence - Swat Runs Train - 04-27-2011
(04-27-2011, 12:53 PM)RDCA Wrote: I disagree, being with friends and especially girls( yes in a relationship, not just friends) can help bring up somebody's confidence. But yea don't fear people or their idea's, no one is better than you and you are better then no one.You have a valid point but relying on others to boost your confidence all the time will make you come across as needy.
OP you need to find confidence in your self, your appearance, skills, strengths and even your weaknesses, you can't let one event ruin the rest of your life. Start working out, take up a sport, join a club, buy some new outfits, confidence is built around tons of little positive changes.
RE: Low Confidence - Scalise - 04-27-2011
As mentioned before, you have to have confidence in yourself before you try to establish relationships with others. Nobody wants to talk with somebody that consistently puts themselves down or doesn't feel like they're good enough. Keep your head up and realize that you only live once. Take chances, while taking the consquences into consideration (AKA: Don't do anything dumb
).I also suggest you stop trying to hide from social activities and at least make an effort to take to somebody face to face. It doesn't even have to be somebody you already know. Anybody. I can guarantee that the company will make you feel better.
I feel like your confidence is partially due to isolation from society, and you should actively try to get involved with the community.
Just believe yourself and the rest will fall into place, I promise. Good luck!
RE: Low Confidence - Justin - 04-27-2011
Hello Guest,
Being around the age of adolescence (12-17), hormones are a lot more active, mood changes occur, and you develop more into what life is like.
I think you experienced a difficult situation at a very early age, giving you a great fear. This is very common amongst younger individuals.
What would be best is taking a day to maybe ride your bike, take a jog, walk a dog (etc.) down that street, and see how safe you would be if someone ever tried to harm you.
RE: Low Confidence - LancerImpact - 04-27-2011
A lot of people are very shy when they are young.
Trust me, you will grow out of it as you get older.
If you really think it is a serious problem or would like to get over what happened, there's no shame in seeing a psychologist either.
RE: Low Confidence - Pulse - 04-28-2011
I became less shy when a hot and popular girl took it out of me. We got really close. But, I started the conversation.
So, you must start it. You must not be scared. Do not have low guts. You do not know, you may be known as amazing if you were not so shy. Just, try.
RE: Low Confidence - Psychosis - 04-29-2011
I am actually interested in hearing more about this topic especially how you get your confidence up. I am personally 14, and until the recent year had extremely low self confidence the one thing i did is a i found out some stuff around my town that i like too do, and i live in a very small town so there is not much. I decided i would start with my favorite thing, Music i started going to concerts i was still pretty shy and low confidence at the first one or two but i quickly started gaining confidence and becoming less shy because the people there accepted me and helped majorly build my confidence, i now go on an average of 4-6 concerts a month. I used to have a group of 5-6 friends most of who didn't even go to my school. now i have a group of friends of 30-40 and 10-20 of which all go to my school this Majorly helped out my self confidence and i am rarley shy now. My advice is to find out what your favorite stuff is and figure out things around your town that you can do that are like that and that you can meet people at then make conversation with them. They will help you build your self confidence and make you less shy.
RE: Low Confidence - jhfire - 04-30-2011
Only you can find confidence in yourself. Set little goals for yourself, once you achieve those goals you will feel so much better. You got to also learn not to give a fudge what other people think of you. Once you start caring what other people think, it can become a huge mental problem. You should also start talking to people, it is a great habit to get into. When you talk to people, it actually makes you feel good about yourself. It is all a mental thing and getting past that would be a huge step! You need to start believing in yourself! Might also want to talk to your parents, they may be able to help you. Good luck and I hope you become more confident!