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+---- Thread: How do I help my gf dealing with loss of a friend? (/showthread.php?tid=16216)
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How do I help my gf dealing with loss of a friend? - Condoms - 02-17-2011
Girlfriend lost one of her best friends last March in a car accident. March 1st is the anniversary. I'm not home or anything to spend time with her. I do call/txt her daily. Anything I can do to help her through this time?
RE: How do I help my gf dealing with loss of a friend? - ⓢⓤⓕⓕⓘⓒⓔ - 02-17-2011
This one is a bit tricky.
You may feel uncomfortable if you weren't close to the deceased.
The best advice I can give you is just keep calling her.
This is a way comforting to some people when they have no one around for them.
RE: How do I help my gf dealing with loss of a friend? - Gaijin - 02-17-2011
3 Months ago, I've lost a Friend in a car accident too. Well he was not really a friend, we used to hang alot though.
Dealing with death of a Person you know may bring alot of People down, I deal with it good since I lost few loved ones and few I cared for.
Helping someone to get over a Death is in most cases hard job to do, most people tend to feel guilty.
If she for what ever reason should feel guilty, you need turn her Thoughts into a more happier way.
Tell her that by crying out from him/her doesn't help, she should try to keep all good memories about that Person and try to remind others who also knew him/her of /his/her past existance, and that they now always have a friend who will listen to them.
She can show respect for the dead, by visiting their graves and so much more.
There is always a good Reason why someone dies. (Personal Expirience, sadly the knowledge comes with time)
Ask here what that same Friend would do, or how s/he would feel to see her that broken.
In the honor of the dead, she should live her life with the good memories of them, not with the occurence wich killed them.
That's just what I think, I never needed help nor I helped someone.
I accepted death a long time ago, someone dies sooner, someone later, in the end they all still remain embeded within our own Soul.
It was an accident, the only possible person to blam are the drivers of the cars, and no one else, and getting mad at someone because s/he lived and your friend didn't, makes no sense and will not bring them back.
Still if you can bend your activities to be near her, and there for her, you can try to focus activities you 2 do to something happier.
(idk for me the person is dead and that's it, I visit the grave and think of the good moments with them, nothing is stopping me to have that with another person....... who might die too .... get over it) (sorry)
RE: How do I help my gf dealing with loss of a friend? - Mao - 02-17-2011
Keep her company, spend a little more time with her, at the same time respecting her privacy about that matter; she would need more human contact since she has just lost some.
RE: How do I help my gf dealing with loss of a friend? - Knight - 02-17-2011
Give her more attention then you normally do, help her forget her trouble (however temp it may be).
RE: How do I help my gf dealing with loss of a friend? - mladen190 - 02-17-2011
i cannot forget my first gf, now i thing she was using me to get free stuff
RE: How do I help my gf dealing with loss of a friend? - Ruyuk - 03-06-2011
Send her a present without hinting of the anniversary.
RE: How do I help my gf dealing with loss of a friend? - Baked - 03-07-2011
Just let her cry on your shoulder for a bit.
You know she wants to, and it will show her that you care.
I've had my girlfriend once lose a uncle that was really close.
She just sat there and cried. I just put my arm around her and said " I'm here for you, always. "
Although I have horrible luck with girls, it didn't work out.
RE: How do I help my gf dealing with loss of a friend? - Pyratepig - 03-07-2011
This actually happened to my girlfriend, but her friend was just moving, and I was able to be with her.
But the sad part was that I planned something huge and special for her, but I ended up not being able
to go because I had to go to the hospital and left my phone at home.
Anyways, you should try to see if you can be there to comfort her. Or, if you have anything special that only you two know about such as a nickname or something, or something that you remember when you first went out or met her, then you can try to call her that or mention it. Sometimes that works. It gives them a feel of security and let's them know that you care about them, and you would do anything to be with them.
RE: How do I help my gf dealing with loss of a friend? - Rainbow Dash - 11-28-2011
Talk nice to her. Be sensitive. Show your feelings. Sadly there's not much you can do. Emotions are extremely hard to clear. Just get her mind off the subject. Make her laugh. Say silly things.
Hope this helps. Its a hard subject.