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+---- Thread: Kevin's Story - Chapter #1 (/showthread.php?tid=12960)
Kevin's Story - Chapter #1 - Virtual Reality - 10-17-2010
Kevin's Story
Written By: Jon Martin
Written By: Jon Martin
I was startled by the loud yet irritating sound of the intercom. I quickly recognized the sound of my secretary's voice. I tried to focus on my math assignment, as my teacher spoke with the office via intercom. I was surprised to hear my name brought up, as they spoke.
"Hello Mr. Andrews, is Kevin Miller available?".
"Yes, he is. I'll send him down now.".
As they conversed, thoughts on what could be occurring were flying through my head. I was one of the best academic students in the school, and I'd never had any behavior issues in the past. I was beginning to get nervous, as if I had a gut feeling that there was something wrong.'
As I grabbed the hall-pass and began to make my way out of the class room, I could hear the sounds of my peers mocking me, and making "ooh" noises as if I was in trouble or something. Real mature for a group of 14 year olds, isn't it? That's what I have to put up with for attending a public highschool. Even though it was only the first month of grade 9, I already had enemies. I didn't really get along with many people, and I always did my best to avoid everybody with the excepting of a couple tight-nitted friends. I wouldn't consider myself shy, but I am definitely not the type of person to volunteer for anything, or spread the latest gossip. I was simply focused on receiving the best education possible, and avoiding typical high school drama. I was nothing close to a perfectionist, but I always set my standards high enough that anything below average was an extreme disappointment. Some may think of it as a good way to motivate oneself and set appropriate goals, but I always thought it was nothing but unneeded stress added to my already hectic lifestyle.
As I walked down to the office, I noticed multiple students hanging around their lockers. I judged them and told myself that I would never end up a loser, as I pictured these students to be. I would never skip class like they were doing in front of my eyes. I cared too much about my academics.
I reached the office successfully, and greeted the lady at the front desk. She brought me into a private room, and told me to sit down as she grabbed her own seat beside me. I found it to be quite off that she chose to sit beside me, instead of across from me at her desk. That set something off in my head, which assisted me in garnering the information needed to make the prediction that this wasn't just an everyday visit to the principles office.
"Get comfortable, Kevin.", she said.
I sat up tall, doing my best to not act as if I was anxious to see what exactly what was going on. I guess I was not too good at hiding it, as the secretary grabbed my forearm tightly to offer some sort of emotional support. I knew it was bad news. Seconds passed by, but it seemed like minutes. The few intense seconds of waiting were killing me on the inside. I just wanted her to get over with it and let me know why she wanted me to speak with her privately.
"Why did you call me down here?", I questioned.
"I was informed of an unfortunate situation, and it is my job to inform you.", she replied solemnly.
"What do you mean?".
The suspense was killing me. So many possibilities were fluttering through my head at this point. I need to know, and I needed to know at that instant.
"Please tell me!", I answered in an obvious tone of anxiety.
"It's your mother. There was an accident, and she is in the hospital.", she said.
"WHAT! Is she alright?" I said.
"She was in a vehicle-related incident. There's not much time left. You need to get to the hospital, now."
Later that night, my own mother died in my own arms. The one woman who devoted her life to making me happy, was removed from existence in a matter of hours. It's safe to say that I was devastated. I loved her more than anything in the world, and she was there for me when I needed it most. I found it quite ironic that she wasn't available when I truly needed her most. It only a couple hours had passed, but it had already sunk in. I had nobody. I was afraid, and most definitely alone.
That day, I also learned that the lady from the administration office wasn't just a secretary. Her name was Carolyn, but students mainly called her "Miss Wilson". She was the one who drove me to the hospital. and she was there for me as I cried on her shoulder after my mother's passing.
It was late, so I decided to go home. I turned my key, and walked into the small yet vibrant townhouse that my mother and I once shared. I shed a tear, knowing that I would soon have to move out, and leave behind the wonderful memories I shared with my mother, within those walls. I walked up to her bedroom, and I could easily make out the scent of her perfume. She must of applied it in the morning. I took off my clothing, and slowly crawled into my mothers bed. That night, I cried myself to sleep. I had never felt so empty. Although my mind was cluttered with thoughts and memories of my late mother, one question remained. How am I going to survive, without my mother around to guide me? Where will I live? How will this occurrence affect my life?
I knew in my heart, that I had to create a plan, and that's exactly what I did. I thought about all of the possible circumstances, and I devised a fool-proof plan to ensure that I lead the best life possible, with out my mother beside my side. I was prepared to face struggles, and I knew deep down that I was capable of taking care of myself. There was no time to mourn the death of my mother. It was time to put Phase #1 into action!
To Be Continued ..
--
This was just something I wrote awhile ago when I was really bored and my internet was out. I know there are a lot of weird grammatical errors. I was very exhausted when I wrote this, so please excuse the odd spelling mistake. If it turns out anybody likes it, I will be sure to go back and fix any errors that I made. Any feedback would be appreciated. It's definitely not my best work, and it probably sucks. Let me know what you think below. Thanks for reading!
RE: Kevin's Story - Chapter #1 - Virtual Reality - 10-21-2010
I am still hoping to get some feedback on this, guys. :]
RE: Kevin's Story - Chapter #1 - Sam - 10-21-2010
It's a good start geez, however it needs a better hook. I don't feel like this has drawn me in yet.
RE: Kevin's Story - Chapter #1 - Hershey - 10-21-2010
It wasn't a grabber. It didn't really grab my attention. add more action and make the readers keep guessing!
RE: Kevin's Story - Chapter #1 - Virtual Reality - 10-29-2010
I agree with both the responses. It was just something I wrote when I was really bored awhile ago. I will certainly take these things into consideration when I begin to write another fictional piece. Fiction is quite new to me, as I haven't written anything of this nature since I was in the 5th grade or so. Thanks for the constructive feedback!