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+---- Thread: Death (/showthread.php?tid=11352)
Death - Daniel Faraday - 08-17-2010
Death
Like a sign it waits for me,
Forever watching it sets us free,
The pain that's here will be gone,
With the end of life, we end our song,
It was fun while we were living,
Sitting, waiting for our passing,
We'll leave this earth with a fear,
Does heaven wait or are we here.
You spend your life waiting on,
But what you wanted is long gone,
This one life is what you need.
With your death you lose your means.
RE: Death - Sam - 08-17-2010
Beautiful.
I love the rhyming couplets, this is my style of poetry.
RE: Death - Daniel Faraday - 08-17-2010
Thanks for the feedback.
It seems easier to write poetry if it rhymes, and it makes it easier to follow and understand.
I started it with the intent to make something about death and pointlessness (because I was mad), but then decided to end it on a better note.
RE: Death - nikjerry - 08-20-2010
Oh Road Kamelot, thats really very nice. I really like that too much. As I just want to say that I was searching for the same. But I was unable to find that. After reading your this post I came to know and I am that much glad that I have got that from here only.
RE: Death - ndee - 08-20-2010
This is epic.
I absolutely loved it, especially the rhymes! Good job ;)
RE: Death - Virtual Reality - 08-20-2010
(08-17-2010, 05:29 PM)Sam Wrote: Beautiful.
I love the rhyming couplets, this is my style of poetry.
Same here. Although there are a few tweaks that I would change, it is a solid poem. I enjoyed reading it!
Keep it up! I'd love to read more!
RE: Death - Daniel Faraday - 08-21-2010
The only thing I didn't like about it were the first two lines.
I started it off in first person, but switched it to third in the second line.
I also reused the word wait, which I don't really like to do. Especially in lines that are paired.
I was pretty busy posting a Python guide on HF and taking care of my dog, but I'll try to post something before the night's end.