Wondering how you all handle tantrums?

MarshaP

So, just a normal day in our household, nothing out of the ordinary, but our four-year old decides to flip a switch. Tears come pouring, feet stomping and the loudest, most ear-shattering screams fill the house. Clean up time before dinner, that’s all it was. I mean, you’d think I’d asked him to pull up the carpet with bare hands.

He’s a wonderful little guy most of the time, but these tantrums are becoming more and more frequent. I always try to keep calm, because you know how they say, the calm mum is the strong mum, but man, it can be tough. Even Mary Poppins would’ve struggled today. Not that there’s a rulebook on parenting exactly.

I’ve tried everything I can think of. We’ve done the ignore and walk away. We’ve tried the whole sit and breathe together thing. Nothing. Nada. I don’t want to go down the time-out route but I’m at my wits’ end at this point.

Funny thing is, I was just talking to a friend (also a parent of a four-year old) and he says his daughter is the picture of sweetness, no tantrums at all. How is that even possible? Or is he just hiding the horrors?

Anyway, I thought I’d check in here and see if anyone else is dealing with the same issue. Or, well, survived it 🤔

jwizz

oh, goodness, i feel you! been down that road too, mate. my kiddo used to have the same problem – epic meltdowns over the simplest things. felt like i was living with a miniature Hulk 😂

a strategy that worked for us was to actually give in occasionally. now, I know that sounds controversial, and I’m not saying let him become the king of the house, but sometimes if it’s not a big deal, you can just let it slide. Like, okay, five more minutes of playtime before cleaning up.

Also, distraction can be a lifesaver. Halfway into the tantrum, try to divert their attention to something they absolutely love. For my kid, it was dinosaurs. Half a roar, and he forgot about his tantrum and joined me in the “dino play”. Every kid is different, so it’s all about finding those unique quirks.

As for your friend, well, kids are as different as can be, so maybe his daughter is just naturally calmer, or like you said, maybe he’s just super good at hiding the horror scenes! 😀

Hang in there, it’s all just a phase; soon enough, we’ll be missing these times! Stay strong 👍

techbloke

Agree with giving in some times. It’s like picking your battles, yeah? You don’t have to win every single one. I got twins and let me tell ya, if I didn’t let little things go, I’d be exhausted all the time! 😂

Distractions are good, but sometimes they don’t work for my kiddos. On those days, I try to help them recognise their feelings instead…something like ’I see you’re really upset because you have to stop playing. It’s hard, isn’t it?' Sounds a bit too touchy-feely, but it works sometimes.

Good luck mate, Hope this roller coaster eases up for you soon. Until then, have some you-time whenever you can grab it, You’re gonna need it!

flipper

Wow, twins! Hat’s off to you. Picking your battles is certainly a smart strategy. I’m a big advocate for teaching kids to handle emotions from an early age. You know, my mom had this ‘calm down jar’ filled with glitter and all, shake it, and let us watch it until the glitter settles. Worked like a charm when we lost our cool. Maybe worth a shot? And yes, definitely grab that ‘you-time’. So incredibly important. Stay strong and keep doing what you’re doing!

MarshaP

Absolutely love the idea of the ‘calm down jar’! It’s a really visual way for kiddos to understand the concept of needing to ‘settle’ their emotions. Also, it’s mesmerising, isn’t it? Anything to buy those precious moments of quiet. My aunt had this trick where she’d have us blow bubbles when we were upset. She said it was all about focusing on your breath and taking slow, deep ones. Did help with calming down, plus, bubbles! Might be another tool for your arsenal. Keep up the great work, and take that ‘you-time’ whenever you can. You’re doing an amazing job!