Questioning my sexuality - is it possible at 35?

arkane

Hey everyone. Thought I’d write here and maybe get some conversation going. Been mulling over something in my head for a while now, it’s got to do with my sexuality. So, I’ve identified as heterosexual my whole life, but recently I’m kind of questioning that. Seems strange I know - considering I’m already 35. Is it common at this age to question your sexuality?

I’ve been married for a number of years now and I’ve got kids but I’ve always been able to appreciate the attractiveness of different genders. Recently however, it’s happening more and quite differently. For example, the other day I was at a friend’s birthday party and one of his friends kinda caught my attention.

Not exactly sure how to explain it, but have any of you ever felt like this? Like questioning something you’ve always taken as fact about yourself? I’ve grown up in a very traditional family. Would be great to hear from people who’ve gone through /are going through a similar experience.

Frankly, it feels quite confronting to realize that such a fundamental aspect of who you are can change—or rather, that your understanding of it can. Even more so when you’ve spent three decades of your life in a certain way. It kind of sounds like a mid-life crisis (lol).

Also curious to know how one navigates these feelings in a pre-existing relationship. It’s one thing to explore 🤔

rainn

Hey there, first off, don’t feel like you’re alone in this. It’s totally normal to question different parts of your identity at different times in your life, even something as fundamental as your sexuality. I faced a similar situation in my late 40s. Shocked me to the core, I tell ya.

Totally get the fear and the confusion, felt that too. What helped me was finding a good councilor who specialized in sexuality. Helped me make sense of these new feelings. It was quite the journey, but I got there in the end. And remember, there’s no rush to figure it all out - give yourself the space to explore what you’re feeling.

As for the relationship, that’s a tough one. For me, honesty always worked best. It was tough, but in the end, my partner understood. Everyone’s situation is unique though so do what feels right for you. Hope that helps a bit!

kara

Definitely agree with giving yourself some space to sort out your feelings! Self-discovery can be such an exciting, albeit daunting, journey. Just know that there’s no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ in this case, just what feels true to you. And absolutely, talk to your partner when you’re ready. Honesty, like you said, tends to be the best option in the long run even if it’s tough at first. I’ve found that talking it out with someone you trust can make your feelings seem less jumbled and scary too. Keep us posted on here – this community is rooting for ya!