05-15-2010, 07:20 AM
Please Note: Try not to insult the author of this post while making a reply.
I created this thread to answer some of the most asked questions and most present problems posted on SF. I realize that these solutions are canned and may not work for all problems, so if they do not work for you just post a topic with your unique situation. For most of the topics I have seen, this could answer your questions.
Relationships
Q: I have known a girl/guy for a long time as a best friend and would like to make them more than a friend, what should I do?
A: Well, you must first look at the facts. The chances of the two of you being together is very low, even if you were to get married there would be about a 50% chance it wouldn't last forever! Many people say that when they break up they will still be friends, but it almost never works like that. I can tell you from past experience that I went out with a long time friend of mine and we said that when we break up we will still be friends, but now we will not speak to each other. If you are fine with loosing a friend who probably means a lot to you then go ahead, but if you would like to have a long time friend rather than a few months of a girl/boyfriend then you shouldn't take it any further than best friends.
Q: How do I show a girl that I like her?
A: I will approach this question from a few different standpoints. First standpoint: you are shy and you do not show your feelings very often. You will have to get over how uncomfortable you might feel with expressing your feelings and you must become more outgoing and simply tell her how you feel, flirt with her and let her know how much she means to you. Becoming more outgoing will also help you become more vocal and improve your social life. Second standpoint: I am a pretty outgoing guy who is not afraid of showing my feelings and I am fine with occasional being embarrassed. Now when most of you read the embarrassed part you probably imminently want to turn away from this method, but don't. Relationships are all about being embarrassed weather it is a girl breaking up with your, or just straight up getting rejected you have to cope with embarrassment and heartbreak if you ever want to have a relationship. Again flirting with her is the best policy, just don't take it too serious. Maybe play footsie in class (a game where you kick each other's feet Lightly!!!). Also if you're not easily embarrassed just straight up tell her that you like her and wait for her response. Just be cautious that it might get more embarrassing if she is always surrounded by her friends.
Q: How do I show a guy that I like him?
I'm not doing standpoints in this answer, because this one is easy. With guys it is all about being the alpha male. Guys want to be the fastest, strongest and funniest. When you are around him make him feel like he is the best at anything he attempts and flirt with him as much as you can. Compliment him on how funny he is, how strong he is, or even how smart he is. These compliments of course depend on the guy you are trying to win over, for instance you probably wouldn't tell the captain of the football team what a great chess player he is.
Q: Should I ask someone out? What are the risks?
A: Well, it basically comes down to your age. If you are a teenager you have nothing to loose. So what if he/she says no! As worn out a quote as this is "There are plenty of other fish in the sea". If you get rejected move on to the next guy/girl, just don't make a habit of moving from one to another really quickly or that will make you look bad.
Q: My boyfriend/girlfriend cheated on me, should we go out again?
A: Of course not, if they could not be loyal to you the first time y'all went out then it is very, very doubtful that they could be loyal again. I do not know what it is, but for many people one relationship is just not enough for them. These people who cheat on you should not be trusted or given a second chance.
Q: My boyfriend/girlfriend has been ignoring me! What does this mean?
A: Under normal circumstances, this would mean that they are about to break up with you. When you are about to break up with someone you feel guilt and you can not handle talking to the other person until you do the breakup. This is not always the case, so before you go and end it before they can just talk to them and ask them what's bothering them. Because you would hate to find out that the reason they couldn't talk is something like a relative dying and them being too consumed with sorrow to talk to you after you have broken up with them because you thought they would break up with you.
Problems at Home
Q: My parents are over protective of me, what should I do?
A: Most children feel that their parents are over protective of them, when in reality they are protecting you from the outside world. If you would like them to give you more freedoms and responsibility then you must prove to them that you are worthy. Tell them the truth, do chores around the house and be responsible and make good grades in school and this will help you get more privileges with your parents.
Q: My parents are always arguing, what can I do to end this?
A: There is no way that you can stop your parents from arguing. The arguments they are having are personal problems between them and you have done nothing to cause them. At the end of the day all you can do is to be a good son/daughter and hopefully your parents will solve their problems on their own.
Alcohol and Drugs
I am being pressured to try drugs, what should I do?
No matter where you live or who you are chances are that some day you will be pressured to try drugs. When someone approaches you with drugs you should Always say no! Drugs are terrible for your health, if you start it is very hard to stop. Drugs called what is called a euphoria which is a high in which you feel stronger, better looking and faster than you would off the drug. Many addicts think that it's great the first time, but after the first time your body gains a tolerance to the drug and you have to use more and more of the drug to get the same effect, after a short amount of time doing drugs will just get your body to a normal and when you do not have drugs you are extremely depressed. This depression in a lot of cases leads to suicide. So, how can you refuse the drugs without sounding uncool? You can say that you are playing sports and you don't want the drugs to hurt your chances of making the team or being a starter, you can say you have someplace to go such as a movie or you have to be home, or you can just straight up say "I don't want to die". Any way not to take the drugs is a good way.
I am at a party and there is alcohol, how can I avoid drinking?
Drinking can be very hazardous for your health, even more so if you are at a young age. One easy way not to drink even if you are being pressured is to say that you are the designated driver, no one will want the designated driver to be drunk, so you not only will not have to drink but other people will make sure you don't if you are providing them with a ride home. However, the most effective strategy when dealing with a party like this is just to leave, if the cops bust the party you can be taken to jail even if you were not drinking. I know that I do not want to be associated with anyone who is drinking underage.
Thanks for reading, if I didn't address a topic you feel I should have added reply to this post or PM me and I'll add it into my topic. Again this can not address every problem specifically so if you do not feel that this truly helped you as much as you need then create a topic for it and the wonderful members of support forums and I will do the best we can to answer it.
I created this thread to answer some of the most asked questions and most present problems posted on SF. I realize that these solutions are canned and may not work for all problems, so if they do not work for you just post a topic with your unique situation. For most of the topics I have seen, this could answer your questions.
Relationships
Q: I have known a girl/guy for a long time as a best friend and would like to make them more than a friend, what should I do?
A: Well, you must first look at the facts. The chances of the two of you being together is very low, even if you were to get married there would be about a 50% chance it wouldn't last forever! Many people say that when they break up they will still be friends, but it almost never works like that. I can tell you from past experience that I went out with a long time friend of mine and we said that when we break up we will still be friends, but now we will not speak to each other. If you are fine with loosing a friend who probably means a lot to you then go ahead, but if you would like to have a long time friend rather than a few months of a girl/boyfriend then you shouldn't take it any further than best friends.
Q: How do I show a girl that I like her?
A: I will approach this question from a few different standpoints. First standpoint: you are shy and you do not show your feelings very often. You will have to get over how uncomfortable you might feel with expressing your feelings and you must become more outgoing and simply tell her how you feel, flirt with her and let her know how much she means to you. Becoming more outgoing will also help you become more vocal and improve your social life. Second standpoint: I am a pretty outgoing guy who is not afraid of showing my feelings and I am fine with occasional being embarrassed. Now when most of you read the embarrassed part you probably imminently want to turn away from this method, but don't. Relationships are all about being embarrassed weather it is a girl breaking up with your, or just straight up getting rejected you have to cope with embarrassment and heartbreak if you ever want to have a relationship. Again flirting with her is the best policy, just don't take it too serious. Maybe play footsie in class (a game where you kick each other's feet Lightly!!!). Also if you're not easily embarrassed just straight up tell her that you like her and wait for her response. Just be cautious that it might get more embarrassing if she is always surrounded by her friends.
Q: How do I show a guy that I like him?
I'm not doing standpoints in this answer, because this one is easy. With guys it is all about being the alpha male. Guys want to be the fastest, strongest and funniest. When you are around him make him feel like he is the best at anything he attempts and flirt with him as much as you can. Compliment him on how funny he is, how strong he is, or even how smart he is. These compliments of course depend on the guy you are trying to win over, for instance you probably wouldn't tell the captain of the football team what a great chess player he is.
Q: Should I ask someone out? What are the risks?
A: Well, it basically comes down to your age. If you are a teenager you have nothing to loose. So what if he/she says no! As worn out a quote as this is "There are plenty of other fish in the sea". If you get rejected move on to the next guy/girl, just don't make a habit of moving from one to another really quickly or that will make you look bad.
Q: My boyfriend/girlfriend cheated on me, should we go out again?
A: Of course not, if they could not be loyal to you the first time y'all went out then it is very, very doubtful that they could be loyal again. I do not know what it is, but for many people one relationship is just not enough for them. These people who cheat on you should not be trusted or given a second chance.
Q: My boyfriend/girlfriend has been ignoring me! What does this mean?
A: Under normal circumstances, this would mean that they are about to break up with you. When you are about to break up with someone you feel guilt and you can not handle talking to the other person until you do the breakup. This is not always the case, so before you go and end it before they can just talk to them and ask them what's bothering them. Because you would hate to find out that the reason they couldn't talk is something like a relative dying and them being too consumed with sorrow to talk to you after you have broken up with them because you thought they would break up with you.
Problems at Home
Q: My parents are over protective of me, what should I do?
A: Most children feel that their parents are over protective of them, when in reality they are protecting you from the outside world. If you would like them to give you more freedoms and responsibility then you must prove to them that you are worthy. Tell them the truth, do chores around the house and be responsible and make good grades in school and this will help you get more privileges with your parents.
Q: My parents are always arguing, what can I do to end this?
A: There is no way that you can stop your parents from arguing. The arguments they are having are personal problems between them and you have done nothing to cause them. At the end of the day all you can do is to be a good son/daughter and hopefully your parents will solve their problems on their own.
Alcohol and Drugs
I am being pressured to try drugs, what should I do?
No matter where you live or who you are chances are that some day you will be pressured to try drugs. When someone approaches you with drugs you should Always say no! Drugs are terrible for your health, if you start it is very hard to stop. Drugs called what is called a euphoria which is a high in which you feel stronger, better looking and faster than you would off the drug. Many addicts think that it's great the first time, but after the first time your body gains a tolerance to the drug and you have to use more and more of the drug to get the same effect, after a short amount of time doing drugs will just get your body to a normal and when you do not have drugs you are extremely depressed. This depression in a lot of cases leads to suicide. So, how can you refuse the drugs without sounding uncool? You can say that you are playing sports and you don't want the drugs to hurt your chances of making the team or being a starter, you can say you have someplace to go such as a movie or you have to be home, or you can just straight up say "I don't want to die". Any way not to take the drugs is a good way.
I am at a party and there is alcohol, how can I avoid drinking?
Drinking can be very hazardous for your health, even more so if you are at a young age. One easy way not to drink even if you are being pressured is to say that you are the designated driver, no one will want the designated driver to be drunk, so you not only will not have to drink but other people will make sure you don't if you are providing them with a ride home. However, the most effective strategy when dealing with a party like this is just to leave, if the cops bust the party you can be taken to jail even if you were not drinking. I know that I do not want to be associated with anyone who is drinking underage.
Thanks for reading, if I didn't address a topic you feel I should have added reply to this post or PM me and I'll add it into my topic. Again this can not address every problem specifically so if you do not feel that this truly helped you as much as you need then create a topic for it and the wonderful members of support forums and I will do the best we can to answer it.
