Over the past year, I have noticed that I am brutally honest. My dad commends me for it, and I'm pretty sure I got it from my mom. However, I've encountered people who think it's rude. What are your thoughts? For example, if someone asked me, "How do I look in this shirt?", am I really supposed to say "great!" by default? Is it not my true opinion that they are after?
Yeah im the same, if someone asks me for my opinion, they should expect the truth, because i wont say your right just because its wont the person wants to here.
Some people do see this has being rude. But in reality people like us are doing them a huge favor. Has they will be able to then proceed with an honest opinion.
Like you say with the shirt comment, A few hours later they will realize, im glad he said that, i would have looked a right idiot!!!!
So i still honesty is the best policy, even if it does seem brutal sometimes.
Plus when you say something is good/nice etc they now it really is!!!
Tbh i think its good and bad.
(04-15-2010, 07:57 AM)BRAINI4C Wrote: [ -> ]Tbh i think its good and bad.
Elaborate please.
I know what you mean, I am really honest all the time. If people don't want to know the truth, they shouldn't ask me what I think. The people who find it rude, are usually the ones that you were just brutally honest to.
Not all the time. It all depends tho. But yeah, I have been brutal honest. Not with my friends tho.
Man i couldn't see you any other way. Also honesty is the best way to live.
You know what, Elektrisk? I actually had an encounter with this specific problem about a week ago.
Me and a buddy went to dinner with this girl I'm talking to (We'll call her Yvette for the sake of confusion) and one of her friends. Now, my friend has certain... tendencies, I guess you could call them. I'll be straight-up, he's kind of a weirdo and somewhat awkward. He's not exactly Rico Suave when it comes to women, either. I could tell Yvette was getting kind of annoyed because of him.
I had never known Yvette the way she did , so it was a surprise when she said some pretty random stuff. After we ate, we were just sitting at the table shooting around conversation. Yvette must have had enough, because she looks at my friend and says "You're pretty weird. I'm sorry but I don't think I can ever be your friend. Don't you know how to talk to people?"
There was literally a solid minute of quiet awkwardness after that. I had to break the ice because I knew nobody else would. I stayed silent because I chose to. Now some people would defend their friend, some would stay quiet like I did, and some would stir up some drama. So I just pretended like it didn't happen.
When I got home, I started thinking: It's not about whether being open and honest to people, it's about being considerate of other people's emotions and common courtesy. I wasn't about to judge and point fingers at who's right and who's wrong or start burning bridges with friends. The main focus here is personality
There's a time and place for everything. There's a difference between being brutally honest and being rude. I'm not saying anything towards you, Elektrisk. You know that. I'm just saying... Some people appreciate the truth, no matter how hardcore it is. Some don't. You yourself have to judge who's ready for it, who deserves it, and whether or not it's alright to give.
I think brutal honesty is ok is most circumstances but there are some times that your "default" reaction is necessary. If that makes sense.
EDIT: I clicked yes but meant to click no on the poll, I never read it properly.
I belive brutal honesty can be bad sometimes. If you talk to someone, for example a very fat guy that's been working hard to loose the extra pounds. He asks you this one question "You think I lost some weight?"
Don't be honest at that time, because he can be hurt. And besides, you don't always know IF the person actually lost weight or not.
-But then again if you go all like; "You look 10 pounds thinner!" Then he might start eat again because he thinks he's thin.