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Interesting read.

Thanks for sharing your story with us, I hope you sort everything out,

(03-12-2010, 09:44 PM)Derrick Wrote: [ -> ]You know, Loved me for me or loved me as an "Us." Well, Recently she broke up with her boyfriend, and I again get excited thinking "Maybe I have a chance." So I tell that I really wanna be with her and all she said "I'm sorry D-Rock, I really am, But I just can't" So naturally, I asked why? and she has yet to talk to me and I'm not sure what to do.

What it means is that she does love you, but as a dear friend, not as a romantic relationship.

I have people tell me they love me, pretty much on a daily basis, and often, quite a few! I know by saying "I love you" they don't mean they want to date, have sex, or have me carry their baby (unless maybe it's a "cyberbaby.")

Instead of being upset, give some thought to what you yourself said about how you fell in love with her in 3 seconds because she was "beautiful". Admit it. You were attracted to her because of her looks, weren't you?

If she had been ugly would you have fallen in love with her? Or morbidly obese? When it comes to romance, don't underestimate the importance of appearance.

Although there are some who find a little extra, or even a lot, of extra weight appealing, others who don't, just don't, and there's nothing you can do or say that can change their minds. We either find another person attractive, or we don't!

When I see someone wearing mismatched, wrinkled clothes, who looks as if they just rolled out from sleeping under a truck, their weight is irrelevant. What I find unattractive is that it says to me that if they don't care enough about themselves to clean up their act, then they're not going to treat me any better. I could very well be wrong about that but it doesn't matter, because I'll never give them the opportunity to find out. I present myself in an attractive, appealing manner, and I expect anyone who would desire a romantic relationship with me to have the courtesy to do the same, and find it disrepectful, even rude, if they don't. Now, there are some girls who this wouldn't bother. Good, they can go be with them, just not me.

It's not the obesity in and of itself. It's that it says the same thing. If you want a romantic relationship with someone, then you should be willing to do what it takes to make yourself into a person that YOU would want to be with.

I wish you the best of luck!

I know how you feel. My advice is if you are able to try to lose some weight. No offense or anything at all. Also, don't worry about the girl. There are many other people who are more better than her with their personality. Trust me, someone like that is not a person you want to be with for a portion or even the rest of your life. I wish you good luck.

(03-23-2010, 05:50 AM)Elektrisk Wrote: [ -> ]OK, here's my advice:

No one, as far as I know, is cursed to obesity. Unless you have some rare disease that makes you perpetually fat, you're practically choosing not to do something about it. You don't really have the right to complain about it if you can do something about. So, I suggest you start hitting the gym. You'll gain a lot of self-confidence, and it sounds like you could use it. Maybe I don't understand what it's like, because I'm naturally scrawny, but why don't I compare it this way? Some people are naturally muscular. I'm not. I want to be. Therefore, I hit the gym. It's the same as you. Some people are naturally skinny. You're not. You want to be (I assume?). So, you should hit the gym.

About the girl.. I'm sorry to say, but I doubt she was ever into you. She told you she "didn't want to be hurt anymore" as an excuse because she wasn't mature enough to tell you outright that she didn't want to be with you. The reason she got a boyfriend one week later or whatever is because she actually liked him. I know that must be a kick in the groin, but it wouldn't've been so bad if you had seen through her lie.

I suggest you not waste your time trying to get with her. Maybe you don't have much experience with girls, but trust me, there're hundreds out there. There're 6 billion people on this Earth, yet you're getting hung up over one? She doesn't sound like she wants you. Bugging her further will just annoy her. Why go through such arduous work just to hear the word 'no'? Find someone that WANTS to be with you.

Well said... I second this...

..and adding on, if you feel that you cannot work out much initially, try jogging on the sand... Go to the closest beach and jog like early in the morning (4 am to 5 am).. Try to sweat as much as you can... This will not only release some of the calories in you, but will also make you much more efficient mentally (trust me)... Sweating early in the morning will increase your confidence level as well (trust me again).. I've been through this road before.. I physically exert myself a lot and never got a chance to put on weight.. But I know the kind of mental freshness you get when you sweat your a$$ off...

Second, this girl needs to find a life off of you.. I truely think that she does not deserve you... Once you follow the above for a few months, trust me, your confidence level will be enough for you to ignore her and try your luck elsewhere.. In my opinion, don't try your luck, but let your luck come to you..

Good luck mate.. Write back if you need to talk .. Or you can PM me and we'll talk on MSN ...