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Hope I don't get to sidetracked here, not really sure exactly what I want to say. I will just make it up as I go along lol. I also don't want this to turn into a topic about drugs or anything so but that is kind of a factor here so I won't leave it out but I will try to stay vague about that

I am a drug user and am going through withdrawals now like many other times. I use drugs because I feel like crap, but when I use them I still feel like crap after. I think that is why I am posting this, the withdrawals. Probably wouldn't be any other time.

Even though I like them which will make it harder, I want to stop. I'm not really sure what I am posting this here for, I guess just to get it off my chest and hope for some encouragement.

I am depressed a lot, don't really have friends, and think being bi polar might contribute, I wasn't diagnosed or anything but I can say I am like 99% sure I am bi polar.

I have low confidence/self esteem which idk if that is from doing drugs or if that is why I do drugs. But I always try to blame everything on myself thinking I am just some pathetic loser when I know it is my fault and I can change it. But for example when I meet someone new I like and want to be friends with them or get to know them I never do because I don't want them to know anything about me because I think I am a crap person. I am not necessarily lonely, it is the reason why I am lonely.

Again, I am not really sure what the point of posting this was.. just always feeling down and don't want to.

Try and go out, make sure you're at your best and be sociable, think that you're the king of the world and everyone else is a minion to you. That will help boost confidence & also make sure you talk with a strong voice, don't be shy.