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around three months ago i had been in a ten month relationship with a girl, my first love so to speak. Basically i never trusted her because of her lack of self esteem left her feeling like she could never disapoint me so she lied to me in order for her to sound perfect. This caused me to becoem jealous and controlling because i knew she couldn't tell me the truth about things and she felt like she should act like so we were both very very jealous/controlling. however one day i got fed up and broke up with her. Soon after i missed her so much i begged for her return and she came back however after a few weeks i began feeling awful when i thought of my feelings for her. i questioned my love and care and slowly tore on my sanity. im not sure if it is/was anxiety jsut when ever thought of my feelings for the girl my heart would feel like its beating faster and it would drop making me feel like i need to run away from my self. this began to lower my self esteem and the girl started to lie and cheat on me and treat me awful for three months, i became suicidal cried every night etc. eventually she broke up with me then we got back together etc etc. we got back together and i finally ended becuase i couldnt trust her and felt very emotiuonally damaged by her around two weeks back..
how ever last week i went up to a summer camp and met someone new, (it was like a blessing after just had broken up with someone who led my life to hell) we sang a duet to entertain the kids (were staff) and then we went on a walk then hooked up and things went from there. Everything was a dream i was infatuated happy not jealous nothing. until i got back home, i started to feel the same thing i had felt with the previous girl. i started to doubt my feelings for the new girl and began feeling like i needed to escape. Im becoming depressed again and i dont know what to do. i really want to make things work with the new girl i just dont know why my emotions keep turning on me when im so happy, im starting to miss my ex again and i just feel plain awful. I dont know what could cause this. I get anxiety attacks when trying to go to bed and i feel trapped in my emotions. I don't know if i thought about the girl to much or expected more of her or i feel like should feel more for her. if anyone has any incite or has felt this before and nows whats wrong or whats going on with me it would be greatfully appreciated. im a softmore in highschool btw and have had some anxiety my whole life.
excuse my poor spelling/grammar and wall of text.

Sorry for the very late reply, SF has really been dead.

What you need is a vacation to be alone for a while, with all of your thoughts, time with the true friends then you'll realize something through that. The ability to clear your mind & move on will give your sanity back. If you have your parents for help around, talk to them.

Along with that, to forget about it, you need to start working on goals to achieve, that will also help you move on through it. Not only with all that, if you move on & get lost in time, you will be able enjoy life again & maybe laugh about the past.